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North Harbour Ulysses Newsletter.
Edition 8
February 2015



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Any time, contributions always welcome.   Email: Editor
Special Notice from Wayne Painter.
Change in February Club Meeting date 
Our February  Club Night is the 5th which is the night before Waitangi Day, as the Cossie Club will be closed on the Friday they will be using the 5th to replace their Friday night raffles/membership draw etc.  so we have arranged with the Cossie Club to hold our club night on  Tuesday 3rd February, meals and bar service will still be available as per usual.    
Edition 8

This summer has had perfect weather for motorcyclists.  We have just returned from our annual mystery ride, held with a group of friends over Anniversary weekend.  Motorcycling is often not about the destination but about the ride.  After 300km's I started to squirm and was looking forward to getting off the bike.  It was hot, stifling hot and I thought about air conditioned cars but the thoughts soon passed as we headed through Ohope, then Opotiki and onto Te Kaha.  Absolutely stunning views with the sea changing from blues to greens.  We were booked into a excellent bed and breakfast (Tui Lodge, Te Kaha) with wonderful hosts.  Wow, what a great destination.  Sunday saw us all on the bikes again and off to Turangi for the night.  Of course the ride was through every back road possible.  Great roads.  We stayed in a Fishing Lodge (Creel Lodge) which was also awesome accommodation.  By the time we were back at home in Albany, via some of the dams and more back roads, we had done a total of 1100km's.

Great ride and great destination.  I hope you are all out there making the most of the fine weather and finding your own great rides and awesome destinations.

Regards
Jeni Van Driel
Welcome back we hope you had a great Xmas & New Year, as far as I know everyone stayed safe and there were no offs.  Dale & I along with other North Harbour members did Trevor’s New Year ‘s Day ride, if you can get out of bed in time I suggest you put this ride on your 2016 calendar it is a great way to start the year.
 
Is your membership number hereIf so and you haven’t already paid, your subs are due for renewal. 
(For Privacy reasons we can’t print your name.)
7983, 7753, 9076, 8321, 8459, 8493, 8563, 8997, 7570, 9000, 2638, 7625, 5765, 6998, 8484, 9078, 8749, 4775, 4730.  This is a great club to belong to and the success of our branch depends on your participation, please don’t let your membership lapse.
                
Long Service (Membership) badges.
Badges are available for 10, 15, 20 & 25 year continuous membership on request for a small charge,  see Niki Morrison or myself to arrange one, you will need to produce your current membership card, badge cost is $10.00.
 
Important Dates to remember:
Very Important!!  Tuesday 3rd February,  Club Night brought forward.
Sunday February 15th, Auckland Rescue Helicopter Charity Ride, all members should support this event.
Sunday March 1st,  30th Waikato CCF Toy Run, starts in Cambridge finishes in Hamilton, see Runs List for ride details.
April 10-12th  National AGM in Tauranga. Entry form & details in December Natmag.
Friday/Saturday 1st & 2nd May, North Harbour Branch Poker Run Weekend, Entry forms available on Club Night.
Thursday May 7th,  North Harbour Branch AGM, 7.30pm. North Shore Cossie Club.
(Nominations accepted for all positions, Nomination forms available at club night or in NatMag.)
Sunday July ????, Midwinter BBQ (Date details to be finalised)
 
Billeting volunteers needed for our Poker Run Weekend in May, if you can host a visitor/visitors to our branch please let Wayne know.  Click to Email Wayne.  We don’t know how many visitors we will get so like good Scouts we need to be prepared.
 
Chieftain Wayne  #1756
North Harbour  Branch Coordinator.
North Harbour Ulysses Branch Shirts and Ulysses Gear
 
Black & Maroon Dri Gear Branch Shirts 
with North Harbour Branch Logo, now available.
Dale has a large selection of Ulysses gear for sale, from buckles to t-shirts.
See Dale on Club night.
Please support North Harbour Branch sponsors.
Cyclespot Group, Major North Harbour Branch Sponsor
Grant donates vouchers monthly for Social Evenings and
 advertises in the monthly newsletter.  
Pop into Cyclespot and check out the range of bikes & accessories.
Hyosung Motorcycles are located at 73 Barrys Point Road, Takapuna. We are New Zealand’s biggest Hyosung dealership and also New Zealand’s distributors for these excellent Korean made bikes carrying a full range of demonstrators from 50cc scooters to the four 650cc LAMS models. Our spare parts inventory incorporates 25,000 items and we regularly achieve a 98% supply rate. Our extremely talented technician has all the factory diagnostic equipment on hand and even better he really knows how to use it!
   
Email: Click to email Sales or Click here to email Workshop.
 
Business Hours
Mon 8:30am – 5:30pm      Tue 8:30am – 5:30pm 
Wed 8:30am – 5:30pm      Thu 8:30am – 5:30pm 
Fri 8:30am – 5:30pm          Sat 9:00am – 4.00pm
Sun Closed
Techmoto: Sponsor of Monthly Meat Raffles 
Discounts for Ulysses and SuperGold card holders, located in the iconic former industrial area now converted to shops and plenty of bars, cafes and above all, good coffee!
Phil and Gail Scott's Techmoto store caters for road and adventure riders with high quality helmets and apparel from Arai, Nolan and Spidi.  There is a huge range of Givi and Ventura luggage, plus motorcycle-specific tools as well as spares and accessories. 
Open weekdays 9.30-5.30 and 9.00-4.00 on Saturday Phone 
09 4461610
Perspective: Everything looks better from the inside of a helmet.
Raffles
If it is your birthday this month, don't forget to take a bottle of wine for the raffles on club night.
If you have any unwanted gifts, donate them for the raffle prizes.
Subscriber Details
At the bottom of this newsletter is a link so you can update your subscriber details.  There is also a button if you really want to cancel your subscription.
Wine Bottle Caps
Save your bottle tops from your wine bottles and bring along to each monthly meeting. These get passed onto Lions Club who collect as a fundraiser for Child Dialysis.  Get your local restaurant on board and have them keep the bottle tops for you.  

JOIN THE REPCO CLUB

As a club we have been invited to join
the Repco Club to obtain discounts.

Ulysses Members can apply here 
http://www.repcoappcoclubcard.co.nz/ 
Odyssey Medals or Life Membership.  
 

Please find attached the required form to accompany any nomination for Odyssey Medals or Life Membership.  This form should also be accompanied by a recent photograph.
You are welcome to provide any other information in support of your application.
 
For 2015 we have a full limit of life membership so there will not be any nominations accepted for Life Membership for 2015.
 
Please note: 
*  Nominations for an Odyssey Medal are in recognition of meritorious Service to the Club particularly at Branch level. 
*  Nominees must be a member who has been a continuous financial member for at least ten years
*  Nominations are restricted to one per Branch per year.
*  All nominations for Odyssey Medals should be signed by the Branch Coordinator and forwarded to:
       National Secretary, 
       The Ulysses Club of NZ Inc.
       P O Box 40218
       Upper Hutt 5140
*  The closing date for nominations for the 2015 Odyssey Medal Award is Sunday 11th January 2015.
*  Awards are restricted to a maximum of four per annum.
 
If you have any queries regarding this process please let me know.
 
Thanks everyone,
 
Cheers
Nicky.
 
Nicky Bright # 7125
 
National Secretary
The Ulysses Club of NZ Inc.
Ulysses National Raffle Ticket Sales.

Attached is a draft of the Ulysses raffle that members are asked to sell with all proceeds going to Ulysses Club Rider Safety Training Programme.  Tickets are now available, limited to 2300 tickets only.


Reviews and Photo Gallery 
Thanks to contributions from:
Barbara Hampe
Sharir Ariff
Coromandel Overnight
by Barbara Hampe

Coromandel Overnighter organized by and RIC Nigel Scott 6/7 Dec 2014

On an overcast and sometimes drizzly Saturday morning we gathered at the Papakura Motorway Services, some having a hearty breakfast, others a caffeine fix.
A good turnout for a weekend away.
Nigel gathered us for the ride’s briefing and we got ready to take off.
Thanks to the eagle eyed Ulyssian Neville Dodds, who spotted our rear tyre low in pressure. As it turns out we had picked up a nail on the way to our assembly point.  So the group set off whilst we made our way to the Drury Performance Centre, which is only a few km away. They were open and able to fix our puncture promptly and professionally so we were back on the road in no time at all.




Morning tea at the Tastebud Café opposite Thames airfield.
Once on the coast, the roads became very scenic, blue sea on the left, the sky clearing to sunshine and the Pohutukawa putting up a show with their abundant crimson flowers.
Unfortunately at one point we came up behind 3 people movers, which were in convoy and travelling at about 45kmh, oblivious to the huge tailback forming behind them. Eventually they pulled over, enabling us to resume our touring pace and cooling down in the breeze.
Our motel, the Abby Court Motel, was conveniently located in walking distance to Coromandel township and well off the road with ample parking available.


Once we had changed from bike gear to shorts we found out that we had arrived just in time for the Santa Parade.


As we’d arrived early in the afternoon we took the opportunity to explore the roads to Colville as we hadn’t seen it before.


Again the road hugged the coast and we were treated to magnificent scenery and a few km of new tar seal and chip. This time we only saw a handful of cars on a round trip of 50km.  Later in the afternoon we gathered for refreshments and nibbles before dinner, soaking up the sun.  2 cars joined us; Wayne and Dale Painter, and Donna and friend.
Coromandel offered a good selection of dinner options and we spent an enjoyable evening at the Star &Garter Hotel bar, which is biker friendly and has an excellent range of beers on tap at reasonable prices.
A BBQ breakfast in the motel saw us off to different directions, some having to head home straight away. A few of us decided to do the full Coromandel loop leaving in groups of ones and twos. We followed Peter Hyde on his Harley over the hills, and as we had an early morning departure and all tourists were still tucked up in bed, the roads were ours to ride. We were bombarded with the characteristic Harley exhaust notes reverberating off the cliff walls as we made our way to Whitianga, where Peter stopped. We carried on to stop at one of our favourite cafes, Manaia in Tairua. We were soon joined by Neville and Ann, who also wanted to stretch their legs over a cup of coffee before heading home.
The weekend getaway was a great success, a big thank you to Nigel for organizing and leading the ride.     
 ☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻



 
A Jolly Good Weekend
Shahrir Ariff #8084
 
MotoGP 2014 is long over but the memory of Sepang lingers on. Specifically, the Shell Advance Malaysian Motorcycle Grand Prix 2014 at Sepang International Circuit (SIC), that is.
 
Not just the big race on 26 Oct 14, but the whole works: buying the GP passes, finding accommodation, meeting fellow enthusiasts, planning day trips to Seremban and Kuala Lumpur.
 
The journey started early in February. My good wife decided she wanted to visit family in Singapore from 21st Oct to 19th Nov.
 
Ya, sure, ok. Gotta check what’s available at budget airline Jetstar. Usually they offer a business class special over that period. Bingo! They did indeed. Only $1,500 return; that’s less than the cost of an economy seat with Singapore Airlines.
 
But wait! The Malaysian leg of MotoGP 2014 was scheduled for 24th Oct 14 - 26th Oct 14. I could perhaps spend a few days there.
 
The first thing I did was to check on the SIC website.  Nah, tickets not available yet. It’s way too early.  
Then I checked the Concorde Inn KLIA website, where I stayed when I attended the 2009 MotoGP. Horrors! Not a single room left. It’s not even March yet. Sigh. Too early for tickets but too late for good accommodation.
 
Not to be discouraged, I checked with online booking agents. That’s how I learned about Bandar Enstek and the EV World chain of budget hotels.
 
Bandar Enstek township itself is almost brand new. It’s actually in Negri Sembilan, the neighbouring state of Selangor where Malaysia’s capital – Kuala Lumpur (KL) – is. But it’s much closer to Sepang International Circuit and Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA).
 
[13 states make up Malaysia; 11 of them in Peninsula Malaysia and the other 2 – Sabah and Sarawak – in East Malaysia on the island of Borneo].
 
I thought I’d be better off staying there if I wanted a no-fuss hotel for MotoGP. (Or, for  F1 and other SIC events, or even to catch a late flight, for that matter).
 
Anyway, I paid NZD46 a-night via www.agoda.com for a smallish double-room at EV World Enstek @ KLIA. That included free wi-fi, free breakfast, and free shuttle to the circuit. You get great service too.
 
There’s only one other hotel there. I hear Sri Enstek is just as good. Both offer a minimal charge for airport-hotel transfer, much cheaper than taking a regular taxi.
 
[Note that there are a few other budget and good hotels near KLIA, KLIA2 (for budget airlines) and SIC, but only two at Bandar Enstek. An Australian family who also stayed at Enstek moved to a KL hotel the day after MotoGP. Good thinking. KL is a very happening city. Plenty of things to do there.]
 
Well, that’s the accommodation sorted. But getting a Paddock Village (PV) pass was another mission.
 
I found out the tickets were finally on sale early July. When I checked the SIC website a-week later, all the PV passes were gone. Sold out, they told me, and suggested that I could buy the Club Suite (CS) passes instead.
 
That would have been a good compromise actually, but I found out that SIC’s agents for Australia and NZ had a spare PV pass because someone had withdrawn. Lucky me. Needless to say I contacted Andrew Forward of Global Motorsports at Hastings to buy it off him.
 
Why PV or CS passes? Choice location, free flowing food and beverages and more importantly, aircon! Yup, Sepang can be very warm and humid. You also get to check out the paddocks with a PV pass.
 
Granted the best places to be are around the corners, in the open. No problem, you’ll have access to those places too. The races can be hot and mind-blowing when you’re out there, literally, but you can always take cover at the corporate room after that. And stuff yourself silly, meanwhile.
 
I flew in from Singapore on Friday 24th Oct 14. As it was just a practice day, I chose to forego the circuit, and asked the hotel to organize a half-day tour to Seremban, the capital of Negri Sembilan. They happily obliged.
 
Seremban is really small. The only place tourists ever visit is its museum. Luckily, there’s a chocolate shop run by the Malaysian Cocoa Board in the vicinity as well. And they make top quality handmade chocs too.
 
Saturday 25th Oct 14 was qualifying day at MotoGP. There was plenty to see and do at the venue: apparel and accessories for sale, stunt shows, etc.
 
And the crowd, well, what can I say. An SIC official told me: yes, crowded today but will be even more so tomorrow. They were expecting more than 120,000 spectators on Sunday.
 
And there they were on raceday, 26th Oct 14. A very well-behaved lot, I must say. The must all be serious bikers. Even the VIP rooms were filled with recreational bikers, not just corporate hangers-on enjoying free perks from sponsor companies.
 
I met a Kiwi couple from New Plymouth at the SIC Paddock Village that day. Dennis and Dorothy braved the sun and humidity to get close to where the action was during the races, and enjoyed the cool room during breaks. Clever!
 
I was quite happy to stay put at the room, thank you, and only occasionally made my way outside. I know, I’m such a woos.
 
The paddock walk was a highlight for me. Interesting to see how casual the people at the paddock were with us straining our necks to catch a glimpse of, well, everything.
 
Local sensation Hafizh Syarin was seen happily signing autographs, but his umbrella girl seemed unfairly neglected (photo 4). Many would remember how he lead the Moto2 field as an 18-year old wild card in 2012 before mechanical fault relegated him to fourth place. That was in heavy rain. Guess Hafizh’s not known as Pescao or “Little Fish” for nothing.
 
Ever seen no: 93 naked? The bike, not the man. (photo 2).
 
Motor racing can be a family and friends affair in Malaysia. Wonder who’s that guy… (photo 3).
 
Yeah, this pin goes…there. (photo 1).
 
The races were as good as you see them on TV, plus you get your ears torn off from the unreal sound they make, and the smell and sight of hot machines. Just magic, eh.
 
There were funny moments too. Wonder if those Ducati enthusiasts were aware that the banner on their fence was saying something like: Go Pedrosa (photo 5).
 
Still, one can tell that we were still buzzing at the end of the day. (photo 6). It ended all too soon. My two Malaysian mates – Mahari and Kamaruddin – both policemen  from Terengganu state (think distance from Auckland to Napier) had a short coffee break back at the hotel before riding home. ETA 3a.m. Frenchman Jean-Marc, who lives in Surat Thani, Thailand, and I stayed on at Enstek for another day.
 
I spent the free Monday at Kuala Lumpur. It took just 30 mins from KLIA to the city by KLIA Ekspres. I’d recommend taking the hop-on hop-off  bus service  if you have only a few hours to spare and want to see as many interesting spots as possible. I did. It’s not perfect, but for MYR45 or NZD17 (24-hour ticket), it won’t break the bank either.
 
A lovely long weekend indeed!
Raffle Prizes and Tattle-Tales Wanted
 “Sheriff wants unwanted gifts and wine for birthdays and worthy events in your LIVES “
And please email ‘SHERIFF, I HAVE A TALE’ to Pete. 
Taking a Motorcycle Trip to America
State-by-state motorcycle laws
www.americanmotorcyclist.com
Taking a trip? Unsure about the laws in your home state? Search the AMA database of on and off-road ...
We'll be friends until we are old and senile.  Then we'll be new friends.

Who is This?


Last month was John Heebink.  
This photo was taken in 1967.
I'll give you the answer next month. 
Please send me your photos.  You will enjoy digging through all those memories.
Who?

Brent donates vouchers monthly for the Social evenings.  Pop in to Spectrum and chat to Grant for bike services, bike sales and accessories. 
Check out ProRider Website for all available courses.
www.prorider.co.nz
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you
can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Need that badge sewn on, then call in on Merine.
Please note change of address
 Unit 10/12 Inverness Road, Browns Bay.
What hair colour do they put on the drivers license of bald men!!!
Click Here for Printer Friendly Runs List
Ulysses North Harbour
Runs and Event Calendar
 email:
Runs Coordinator
Rider in Charge (RIC) would appreciate all participants of rides to be at the departure point 10 minutes early with a full tank of gas.  If the weather looks suspect then please phone the RIC to see if the ride is postponed or cancelled. 

The Rider in Charge will be organizing the day.  Contact them for details.  All riders participating in a Ulysses Ride are expected to hold a current motorcycle license, wear suitable clothing and to have a registered and warranted road-worthy bike.

The organizers and/or the Ulysses Club are not responsible for participants safety and all participants participate at their own risk.

All participants are aware that they are traveling on open public roads and are responsible for their own safety and compliance with all Rules and Laws.

 
Please check your runs list as some rides or destinations may have changed from initial calendar entry.
Club Night Meeting and Social Evening
Held at North Shore Cosmopolitan Club,  
65 Paul Mathews Drive, Albany
1st Thursday of the Month.
Meals available from 5.30pm and meeting starts at 7.30pm
 
NORTH SHORE DINNER NIGHT MAD DOGS & ENGLISHMEN Link Drive Wairau Park
Every 3rd Wednesday of the month 2014 (6 pm onwards), Bar & kitchen open at 5.30 pm.


 
February 
1st
Sunday
Waihi Beach RSA Lunch Run
Departs Papakura Service Centre at 10.00am
RIC: Peter Hyde
Mobile:  021 997926 
Medium 

*****************************
Note change of date for this month only, due to Waitangi Weekend.
February 3rd. Tuesday.  Don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses general meeting night at the North Shore Cosmopolitan Club.  Meals available from 5.30pm.  Reservations Here
February 
8th
Sunday


Waitangi Weekend
West Coast Beaches Run.

Departs North Shore Cossie Club at 10.00am
RIC: David McAnulty
Mobile: 0211844100
Home: 098109798
Short ride

 
February 15th Sunday.  
Auckland Rescue Helicopter Trust Ride.


February 18th.  It's the 3rd Wednesday of the month so it's North Shore dinner night at Mad Dogs and Englishman, Link Drive.  Reservations Here. 
February 
22nd
Sunday

Paeroa Battle of the Streets.
Departs North Shore Cossie Club at 9.30am

Meet and ride as a group or make your own way there.

 
March
1st
Sunday


 


 
March 5th. It's the 1st Thursday of the month so don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses general meeting night at the North Shore Cosmopolitan Club.  Meals available from 5.30pm.  Reservations Here
March
8th
Sunday

 
The Deck Cafe Cruise
Whangarei Heads


Departs Dairy Flat Service Centre at 10.00am
RIC: David McAnulty
Mobile: 021 1844100
Home: 09 8109798
Long
March
15th
Sunday

 
TeAroha Loop Ride

Departs Papakura Service Centre
at 10.00am

RIC: Wayne Larsen

Mobile: 021 02828442
Home: 09 4768071
Long

Note Destination Change
March 18th.  It's the 3rd Wednesday of the month so it's North Shore dinner night at Mad Dogs and Englishman, Link Drive.  Reservations Here. 
March
22nd
Sunday

 
Mokau
for Whitebait Fritters

Departs Papakura Service Centre at 10.00am
RIC: Paul Morrison
Mobile: 021 909350
Home: 4203247
Extra Long

 
WHANGAMOMONA TRIP

 
MARCH 28/29 2015
Leave PAPAKURA AUTOBAHN
9:30am Saturday 28th

 
 
Stay at the legendary Whanga Hotel. Enjoy a great ride, great company, the beers and buy the tee shirt.
$75 per person per night share twin or double B & B (continental breakfast).
NOTE: Reservations have been pencilled in with the hotel.
 
YOU NEED TO MAKE YOUR OWN PAYMENT TO THE HOTEL BEFORE MARCH 01 TO CONFIRM AND SECURE YOUR ROOM.  After that its pot luck.
 
Direct credit A/C:   06 0405 0215683 01      
Reference:    NHU Your surname
 
For credit card payment call 06 7625823
 
See the link below for the hotel reservation policy, menus and other information.
http://www.whangamomonahotel.co.nz/
 
PLEASE email or TXT Peter Z when you have booked so we know the numbers attending.
We may be able to get a dinner deal if there are about 20 people but we need to know before the event.  Email: Click here 
Phone Mob:   021 1807840
Dave's Midweek Wednesday Rides
RIC: Dave Moore
Mobile: 027 3225599
Home: 09 4451540
Are you free to ride Midweek?
Why not join Dave on Wednesday's
Departs NS Cossie Club at 11.00am
Destination decided on the day.
These rides are proving very popular.
Highlight your calendar with these upcoming rides or events.


North Harbour Ulysses will be holding a weekend poker run, in May.  More information coming soon...........
Northern Odyssey
 
Click Here for Information & Registration Form for the inaugural Northern Odyssey to be run by Waikato Branch over summer,
commencing on Boxing Day.
 Okataina Rally 19-21 June 2015.

Due to the imminent closure of Okataina Camp this will be the last ever Okataina Rally.

Click here for registration form.
Members stuff For Sale.  

 R80 for sale. 
 
1990 BMW R80 - $4000.
Contact Beau direct on 021 101 4131.
Why? Why? Why?

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 

EVER WONDER...

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it called lipstick when you can still move your lips?
A man working in a sawmill accidentally cuts off all his fingers. He rushes off to the emergency department at the hospital, and the doctor says, "Give me your fingers and I'll see what I can do." The man replies, "I haven't got the fingers."  The Doctor says, " What do you mean, you haven't got the fingers?  I am the country's best microsurgeon and I could have reattached them. Why didn't you bring them with you?"
The man replies, "I couldn't pick them up."
My Grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old and we have no idea where the hell he is.


************************************
Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home
at $4000.00 per month.


************************************

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

************************************

The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

************************************

I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I am doing.....

************************************

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise'
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

 
Confucius did not say...
 
"Man who drive like hell bound to get there."

"He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise."

"Support bacteria, - It's the only culture that some people have."
 Ads you would not see today!

Engrish sign seen in Cafe.

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
 

Wife: "How would you describe me?" 
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." 
Wife: "What does that mean?" 
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." 
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" 
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
 

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
 

A woman answered the doorbell with a man standing on her porch. The man said, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat and I would like to replace it for you." The woman replied, "Well that's alright with me, but how are you at catching mice?"
Members Free Ads

Space here for Members advert.  Please include Your name and membership number.
Wayne #1756 & Dale Painter #1774
Paul #8047 & Niki Morrison #8052
Paul Gallagher # 3266
Clive Hawthorn #8617
Dennis Linton
If you can't get it goin' with bungee cords and electricians tape - it's serious!
Any views or opinions presented in this newsletter are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the North Harbour Ulysses Branch Committee.
Please add editor's email address to your contacts to avoid your newsletter ending up in spam.
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