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North Harbour Ulysses Newsletter.
Edition 9
March 2015

Copy Deadline next newsletter
Any time, contributions always welcome.   Email: Editor
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Edition 9

Thanks to all contributors this month, however I am looking for more of your photos from your early motorcycling days for the newsletters Guess Who section.  Please send me a scanned photo or I can scan for you.

Don't forget to mark your diary for North Harbour Poker Run on May 2nd. This will be an annual event for North Harbour
so spread the word to all your fellow biking mates.  We need your support to make this a success.

Jeni Van Driel
We hope you mend quickly Donna, Nigel & Donna were knocked off in Orewa Village by a driver who didn’t give way, Nigel got away with bruising & stitches, unfortunately Donna was not so lucky and sustained multiple leg fractures, we wish Donna a Speedy Recovery. 
Our Branch keeps on growing, we now have 190+ members and we are getting new member enquiries every month. One of the reasons the North Harbour Branch was formed was to attract more North Harbour area motorcyclists to the club, I think we are achieving this goal and the more members we attract the stronger the Club becomes.
This year we will give out 8 x 25 year membership badges which will give our branch 10 x 25 year members.
Badges are available for 10, 15 & 20 year continuous membership on request for a small charge of $10.00,  the Branch pays for the 25 year badge, see Niki Morrison or myself to arrange one, you will need to produce your current membership card.
2014 National AGM Minutes 
Last year’s National AGM minutes are not being published in the March NatMag, if you want a copy of these minutes email me and I will forward a copy to you.
Our Branch AGM is an important event and we need a good turn-out to ensure democracy reigns. Nominations will be accepted for all positions & nomination forms are available in the Natmag, at club night or email Niki for a copy, nominations will close Tuesday 7th April to allow time for postal voting for those who can’t make the AGM meeting.
Maybe you would like to go on the Runs Committee, the more constructive people we have taking Rides, the bigger the variety, the more fun we have.  Contact Rini email or phone 027 279 0864
We need your entries in NOW so we can start planning the weekend, we need know we have your support.
Email me for an entry form, they are also on our website and will be available at club night.
We need some volunteers to do the BBQ lunch at South Head and any small prizes you can give for the prize-table would be appreciated.
Billeting volunteers needed for the weekend, if you can host a visitor/visitors to our branch please email me.  We don’t know how many visitors we will get so like good Boy Scouts we need to be prepared. 
Important dates to remember:
Sunday March 1st,  30th Waikato CCF Toyrun, starts in Cambridge finishes in Hamilton, our ride leaves the Cossie Club at 8.00am and those who wish to will meet back there when we come home.
Sunday March 22nd, Tauranga Easter Egg Ride,
April 10-12th  National AGM in Tauranga.   Entry form & details in National Magazine, this is always a good weekend.
Friday/Saturday 1st & 2nd May, North Harbour Branch Poker Run Weekend.
Thursday May 7th,  North Harbour Branch AGM, 7.30pm. North Shore Cossie Club.
Sunday 19th July, Midwinter BBQ, North Shore Cossie Club, last year was a heap of fun, make sure you’re there.
Chieftain Wayne  #1756
North Harbour  Branch Coordinator
North Harbour Ulysses Branch Shirts and Ulysses Gear
Black & Maroon Dri Gear Branch Shirts 
with North Harbour Branch Logo, now available.
Dale has a large selection of Ulysses gear for sale, from buckles to t-shirts.
See Dale on Club night.
Please support North Harbour Branch sponsors.
Cyclespot Group, Major North Harbour Branch Sponsor
Grant donates vouchers monthly for Social Evenings and
 advertises in the monthly newsletter.  
Pop into Cyclespot and check out the range of bikes & accessories.
Hyosung Motorcycles are located at 73 Barrys Point Road, Takapuna. We are New Zealand’s biggest Hyosung dealership and also New Zealand’s distributors for these excellent Korean made bikes carrying a full range of demonstrators from 50cc scooters to the four 650cc LAMS models. Our spare parts inventory incorporates 25,000 items and we regularly achieve a 98% supply rate. Our extremely talented technician has all the factory diagnostic equipment on hand and even better he really knows how to use it!
Savings up to $1000 on new Hyosung's. Demonstrators in store, MTF finance available T.A.P and discounted insurance through Protecta or Vero.
Email: Click to email Sales or Click here to email Workshop.
Business Hours
Mon 8:30am – 5:30pm      Tue 8:30am – 5:30pm 
Wed 8:30am – 5:30pm      Thu 8:30am – 5:30pm 
Fri 8:30am – 5:30pm          Sat 9:00am – 4.00pm
Sun Closed
Techmoto: Sponsor of Monthly Meat Raffles 
Discounts for Ulysses and SuperGold card holders, located in the iconic former industrial area now converted to shops and plenty of bars, cafes and above all, good coffee!
Phil and Gail Scott's Techmoto store caters for road and adventure riders with high quality helmets and apparel from Arai, Nolan and Spidi.  There is a huge range of Givi and Ventura luggage, plus motorcycle-specific tools as well as spares and accessories. 
Open weekdays 9.30-5.30 and 9.00-4.00 on Saturday Phone 
09 4461610
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
If it is your birthday this month, don't forget to take a bottle of wine for the raffles on club night.
If you have any unwanted gifts, donate them for the raffle prizes.
Subscriber Details
At the bottom of this newsletter is a link so you can update your subscriber details.  There is also a button if you really want to cancel your subscription.
Wine Bottle Caps
Save your bottle tops from your wine bottles and bring along to each monthly meeting. These get passed onto Lions Club who collect as a fundraiser for Child Dialysis.  Get your local restaurant on board and have them keep the bottle tops for you.  
Please support the North Harbour Ulysses Poker Run.
Contact Wayne if you have any prizes or know of any sponsors that can donate prizes for our inaugural Poker Ride. Any donations gratefully received.


As a club we have been invited to join
the Repco Club to obtain discounts.

Ulysses Members can apply here 
Odyssey Medals or Life Membership.  

Please find attached the required form to accompany any nomination for Odyssey Medals or Life Membership.  This form should also be accompanied by a recent photograph.
You are welcome to provide any other information in support of your application.
For 2015 we have a full limit of life membership so there will not be any nominations accepted for Life Membership for 2015.
Please note: 
*  Nominations for an Odyssey Medal are in recognition of meritorious Service to the Club particularly at Branch level. 
*  Nominees must be a member who has been a continuous financial member for at least ten years
*  Nominations are restricted to one per Branch per year.
*  All nominations for Odyssey Medals should be signed by the Branch Coordinator and forwarded to:
       National Secretary, 
       The Ulysses Club of NZ Inc.
       P O Box 40218
       Upper Hutt 5140
*  The closing date for nominations for the 2015 Odyssey Medal Award is Sunday 11th January 2015.
*  Awards are restricted to a maximum of four per annum.
If you have any queries regarding this process please let me know.
Thanks everyone,
Nicky Bright # 7125
National Secretary
The Ulysses Club of NZ Inc.
Reviews and Photo Gallery 
No ride reviews this month but thanks to contributions from:
Vaughan Nankivell
Peter Hyde
Article supplied by Vaughan Nankivell.
Article published in March 2015 issue of Rider Magazine (US) on Win Dean, traversing the continental 48 US States on a 1972 Honda CB750K. Win, 83 years young, is a family friend of Ulysses NH member, Lora Nankivell (#9036).
Motorcycles and Mayhem.  
By Peter Hyde 9022
1969 and the government decided that the motorcycling fraternity should wear skid lids.  We had suspected for some time that this drastic step was going to be imposed on us, up until then we had enjoyed the freedom of the wind in your face and the bugs in your teeth, never mind the risk of leaving your grey matter spread out along the road in the event of the big get off.  When I think back about it now I shudder at how dangerous it was, you only have to come up under an open cupboard door and bang your noggin to find out how much that can hurt and we were hurtling along at the magical ton.
We were incensed at the thought of being made to wear a crash helmet and the protest gathered momentum, we were not going to take this attack on our liberty lying down. There were rallies held all over the country and the right honorable Richard Prebble who was minister of transport at that time came to Auckland and stood before a huge crowd of motorcyclists at the Town Hall and explained the governments policy and position on the wearing of helmets amidst boos and jeers from the long haired leather clad throng.
After Prebble took his departure before being pulled from the dais and interfered with, the disgruntled crowd spewed out of the exits of the town hall and more than a few hoons decided that it would be a good idea to do burnouts, wheelies and drag race up and down Queen street outside the town hall to add further to the growing discontent. It probably didn't help our argument against helmets but it was all good fun.
As always when the government makes up its mind it’s a done deal and in due course the law came in and for a while a few rebels flouted the new law and tried riding without a helmet but there was one area that the law makers had had a brain fade and it was with an exemption to the law which stated that if there was a medical reason ie migraines, brain tumors, why a person could not wear a helmet a letter from his/her (hardly any females road bikes in those years) GP could be carried as proof. For a few years after the new law a few diehards still used this loophole until finally ACC came to be and stopped this practice.
The next big protest for motorcyclists was the following year when the transport authority decided that it was going to double the toll charge for bikes over the harbour bridge from ten cents (oooooh) to twenty cents (boo hiss). I suppose it might have been a lot back then, its all relative, wages then were about the cost of a Ponsonby latte nowadays.
Bikers were so upset by this proposal that a huge protest was organized in secret whereby hundreds of motorcyclists would descend on the harbour bridge at rush hour time, which back then was a bout ten million cars less than today and hand over the largest denomination banknote that they could find.  Some bright spark had discovered that legally the toll booth operators had to give change no matter what was proffered for the journey across the bridge. So this hoard of modern knights on steely steeds charge toward the poor tollbooth operators all waving one hundred dollar bills in clenched gloved fists.
All of this would have been really good had not the toll booth operators been tipped off and had been able to bring in copious amounts of change to deal with the demand which somewhat put a damper on the whole thing but did cause some congestion as the bikers were handed tons of small change. At the end of the day I am not sure who had the last laugh.  To the best of my knowledge the protest must have been heeded and the toll remained the same. Ha Ha, one for the bikers.
The tollbooths gave us a great place to race from, as the first overhead bridge being Onewa road was exactly quarter of a mile away.
Which brings me to another story. 1971 and I road a 69 Bonnie with a set of Dunstal megaphone mufflers which were, shall we say, a little raucous. One Sunday we had been down south and were riding down the southern motorway minding my own business I noticed a traffic cop in his black Vauxhall patrol car right up my rear end and he stayed there mile after mile, down the motorway, off at Wellesley street, down Wellesley Street, up Wellesley street down past Victoria Park market and onto the harbour bridge.  By this time I was getting a little more than a tad pissed off until finally he put his siren on and pulled us over just before the Takapuna off ramp.
Getting out off his car this gigantic Maori cop saunters up to me, he says I have been following you for a while  (no kidding) and I think that those pipes are too noisy and I am writing this bike off the road.
That’s when the argument started.
I refused to leave my bike on the side of the motorway and eventually he relented and followed me home to ensure that I was going straight there.
I wrote a letter to the traffic court and complained about the harassment and the dangerous driving from the cop and the fact that I had purchased the Dunstals from a motorcycle shop and that if the authority deemed them too noisy they should stop the importation and sale of them blah blah blah.
The upshot of the whole thing was that I got off the ticket and heard through the grape vine that the cop had been dragged over the coals and was after my guts. That’s when the fun started.
I was lucky to see Mr. Peters on numerous occasions on the opposite side of the motorway and he would give me the evil eye while I gave him back the two raised finger sign, which could have doubled as a victory sign.
A while after this Mr. Peters disappeared from the traffic police and blow me down if he doesn't surface as a…..wait for it…… Toll booth operator!!!
In due course I informed the lads of this turn of fortune and for the next six months we were able to wage a war of attrition. Coming down the Harbour bridge we slowed up searching the row of toll booths until I could see Mr Peters big head sticking out one of the toll booths and making sure I was in that lane we treated him to either handing him a hot coin that we had just plucked from between the cylinder heads or handing him a saliva covered coin that we had carried between our teeth. But my personal favorite was, after handing him the toll and with a cold grin revving up the Bonnie and dropping the clutch spinning the rear wheel in the gathered oil just outside the little booth and blasting off in a cloud of smoke, and oh the sound of those howling Dunstals, how sweet the revenge was.
I wonder where he is today.  I really hope he is not a parking meter Nazi.                                    
Peter Webb
Raffle Prizes and Tattle-Tales Wanted
 “Sheriff wants unwanted gifts and wine for birthdays and worthy events in your LIVES “
And please email ‘SHERIFF, I HAVE A TALE’ to Pete. 
Always remember you're unique.  Just like everyone else.

Who is This?

This photo was taken in 1971.
I'll give you the answer next month. 
Please send me your photos.  You will enjoy digging through all those memories.

Last month was Peter Zaloum


Before (1967)


After (2015)

Brent donates vouchers monthly for the Social evenings.  Pop in to Spectrum and chat to Grant for bike services, bike sales and accessories. 
Check out ProRider Website for all available courses.
Two Vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.  The stewardess looks at them and says,
"I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

Need that badge sewn on, then call in on Merine.
Please note change of address
 Unit 10/12 Inverness Road, Browns Bay.
Hear about... the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job?  Apparently, she couldn't control her pupils.
Click Here for Printer Friendly Runs List
Ulysses North Harbour
Runs and Event Calendar
Runs Coordinator
Rider in Charge (RIC) would appreciate all participants of rides to be at the departure point 10 minutes early with a full tank of gas.  If the weather looks suspect then please phone the RIC to see if the ride is postponed or cancelled. 

The Rider in Charge will be organizing the day.  Contact them for details.  All riders participating in a Ulysses Ride are expected to hold a current motorcycle license, wear suitable clothing and to have a registered and warranted road-worthy bike.

The organizers and/or the Ulysses Club are not responsible for participants safety and all participants participate at their own risk.

All participants are aware that they are traveling on open public roads and are responsible for their own safety and compliance with all Rules and Laws.

Please check your runs list as some rides or destinations may have changed from initial calendar entry.
Club Night Meeting and Social Evening
Held at North Shore Cosmopolitan Club,  
65 Paul Mathews Drive, Albany
1st Thursday of the Month.
Meals available from 5.30pm and meeting starts at 7.30pm
Every 3rd Wednesday of the month 2014 (6 pm onwards), Bar & kitchen open at 5.30 pm.




TeAroha Loop Ride

Departs Papakura Service Centre
at 10.00am

RIC: Peter Hyde

Mobile: 021 9977926

March 18th.  It's the 3rd Wednesday of the month so it's North Shore dinner night at Mad Dogs and Englishman, Link Drive.  Reservations Here. 

for Whitebait Fritters

Departs Papakura Service Centre at 10.00am
RIC: Paul Morrison
Mobile: 021 909350
Home: 4203247
Extra Long

March 22nd Sunday.  
Tauranga Branch Ulysses Easter Egg and Toy Run


MARCH 28/29 2015
9:30am Saturday 28th

Stay at the legendary Whanga Hotel. Enjoy a great ride, great company, the beers and buy the tee shirt.
$75 per person per night share twin or double B & B (continental breakfast).
NOTE: Reservations have been pencilled in with the hotel.
Direct credit A/C:   06 0405 0215683 01      
Reference:    NHU Your surname
For credit card payment call 06 7625823
See the link below for the hotel reservation policy, menus and other information.
PLEASE email or TXT Peter Z when you have booked so we know the numbers attending.
We may be able to get a dinner deal if there are about 20 people but we need to know before the event.  Email: Click here 
Phone Mob:   021 1807840
April 2nd. It's the 1st Thursday of the month so don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses general meeting night at the North Shore Cosmopolitan Club.  Meals available from 5.30pm.  Reservations Here

Ulysses AGM Tauranga

Departs Papakura Service Centre at 7.00am
Annual General Meeting starts at 10.00am in Tauranga.

RIC: Wayne Larsen
Mobile: 021 02828442
Home: 09 4768071
April 15th.  It's the 3rd Wednesday of the month so it's North Shore dinner night at Mad Dogs and Englishman, Link Drive.  Reservations Here.
Waipu Pizza Barn for lunch
Departs Dairy Flat Service Centre at 10.00am

RIC: Nigel Scott
Mobile:  021 24477254
Home: 09 4283714 



April 26th, Sunday
Departs Papakura Service Centre at 10.00am
RIC: Peter Zaloum
Mobile: 021 1807840
Home: 09 4190725

Nikau cave cafe for lunch.
Optional cave tour 1:30pm for about 1.5 hours.
The cave tour is recommended, you might even meet Gollum.  See the website for full details, cost and lots of information about the caves and what to wear.
An alternative 1 hour return scenic waterfall bushwalk at no charge is available for those who like to stay above ground or just hang out and chew the fat.. 
Return to Pokeno for ice cream etc. then make your own way home.
Bookings are recommended and can be done by Email: or Phone: (09) 233 3199.  Make sure to book for the 1:30pm trip
May 1st and 2nd

Entertainment and meals available at Cossie Club on Friday

Poker Run

Departs North Shore Cossie Club

May 7th. It's the 1st Thursday of the month so don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses Annual general meeting night at the North Shore Cosmopolitan Club.  Meals available from 5.30pm.  Reservations Here

Maraetai/Kaiaua Ride

Departs Dairy North Shore Cossie Club at 10.00am

RIC: David McAnulty
Mobile: 021 1844100
Home: 09 8109798
Whangarei Basin Cafe Run
Departs Dairy Flat Service Centre at 10.00am
RIC: Paul Morrison
Mobile:  021 909350
Home: 09 4203247 

MacNut Cafe and Farm for Lunch
Departs North Shore Cossie Club at 10.00am
RIC: Wayne Larsen
Mobile:  021 02828442
Home: 09 4768071
Dave's Midweek Wednesday Rides
RIC: Dave Moore
Mobile: 027 3225599
Home: 09 4451540
Are you free to ride Midweek?
Why not join Dave on Wednesday's
Departs NS Cossie Club at 11.00am
Destination decided on the day.
These rides are proving very popular.
Highlight your calendar with these upcoming rides or events.

North Harbour Ulysses will be holding a weekend poker run, in May.  More information coming soon...........
 Okataina Rally 19-21 June 2015.

Due to the imminent closure of Okataina Camp this will be the last ever Okataina Rally.

Click here for registration form.
Members stuff For Sale.  

 R1100RS for sale. 
1995 BMW R1100RS for $6200.00
Contact Beau direct on 021 101 4131.
Why? Why? Why?

People born before 1946 are called - The Greatest Generation.

People born between 1946 and 1964 are called - The Baby Boomers.

People born between 1965 and 1979 are called -Generation X.

And people born between 1980 and 2010 are called –Generation Y.

Why do we call the last group -Generation Y ? Y should I get a job? 
Y should I leave home and find my own place? 
Y should I get a car when I can borrow yours? 
Y should I clean my room? 
Y should I wash and iron my own clothes? 
Y should I buy any food? 

But perhaps a cartoonist explains it more eloquently below...

Just thought you might want to know "Y"
A tired worker boarded the train and was just relaxing back in his seat when a pretty young, and very pregnant blonde, alighted and sat down opposite. The worker smiled to himself as the blonde had sat down under an advertising sign for a coming movie titled  "Coming soon The Gold Dust Twins."  The blonde noticed the smile and shifted to another seat under another advert for shaving that stated "Williams Stick Did The Trick."  On seeing further smiles from the worker, she shifted again and sat under a further ad that had the worker almost laughing as it showed a motor accident scene and the caption read "Dunlop Rubber Would Have Prevented This Accident".
Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a pub with a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

An  elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m and when asked  where
he was going at that time of night.

The man  replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the
effects it has on the human body, as  well as smoking and staying out late."

The  officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of

The  man replied, "That would be my wife."
When I was young, I thought I wanted go to Medical School and become a doctor.

At the entrance exam we were asked to rearrange the letters PNEIS and form the name of an important human body part, which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered spine are doctors today, while the rest of us are sending jokes via email.


Judy got married and had 13 children. Her first husband, Ted, died of cancer.
She married again, and she and Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later.
 Judy again remarried, and this time, she and John had 5 more children.
 Judy finally died, after having 25 children.
 Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said,
 "Lord, they are finally together."
 Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, Margaret
 "Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?"
 Margaret replied, "I think he means her legs, Ethel . . . her legs" 


Confucius did not say...
"Man who eats many prunes gets good run for money."

"It takes many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it."

"Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly."

"Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night."
Two deaf  people get married and during the first week of  marriage they find that they are unable to  communicate in the bedroom with the lights out  since they can't see each other signing, or read  lips. After several nights of fumbling around and  many misunderstandings, the wife figures out a  solution.
She writes a  note to her husband: 'Honey, Why don't we agree on  some simple signals? For instance, at night, if  you want to have sex with me, reach over and  squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want  to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right  breast two times.
The husband  thinks this is a great idea. He writes back to his  wife that if she wants to have sex with him, reach  over and pull on his penis one time.  If she  doesn't want to have sex, pull on his penis about  fifty or sixty times.

How do you manage to get fired on the first day in a Winnie the Poo costume? 

By putting on your costume pants the wrong way around!

As seen in Colombo
He said to me . ... . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it
I said to him .... . . You wear pants don't you?

He said to me ... . ......... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said to him .. That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart

He said to me. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him ... ......
Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said to me. ....... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
I said to him ... . They don't have time.

He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him .. .. I don't know; it has never happened.

He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends.

He said to me...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
I said to him. . .. A widow.

He said to me.... Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him .. .... .. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed
.....Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. 
Members Free Ads

Space here for Members advert.  Please include Your name and membership number.
Wayne #1756 & Dale Painter #1774
Paul #8047 & Niki Morrison #8052
Paul Gallagher # 3266
Clive Hawthorn #8617
Dennis Linton
The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome.
Any views or opinions presented in this newsletter are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the North Harbour Ulysses Branch Committee.
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