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Techmoto: Sponsor of Monthly Meat Raffles
Discounts for Ulysses and SuperGold card holders, located in the iconic former industrial area now converted to shops and plenty of bars, cafes and above all, good coffee!
Phil and Gail Scott's Techmoto store caters for road and adventure riders with high quality helmets and apparel from Arai, Nolan and Spidi. There is a huge range of Givi and Ventura luggage, plus motorcycle-specific tools as well as spares and accessories.
Open weekdays 9.30-5.30 and 9.00-4.00 on Saturday Phone 09 4461610
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Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
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Raffles
If it is your birthday this month, don't forget to take a bottle of wine for the raffles on club night.
If you have any unwanted gifts, donate them for the raffle prizes.
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Subscriber Details
At the bottom of this newsletter is a link so you can update your subscriber details. There is also a button if you really want to cancel your subscription.
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Wine Bottle Caps
Save your bottle tops from your wine bottles and bring along to each monthly meeting. These get passed onto Lions Club who collect as a fundraiser for Child Dialysis. Get your local restaurant on board and have them keep the bottle tops for you.
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Reviews and Photo Gallery
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Wednesday Rides
Starting 2 March, the Wednesday rides will be changing to a 10:30 start.
The starting venue remains the same.
At the
Old North Shore Cosmopolitan Club.
65 Paul Matthews Drive, Albany
Photos from past Wednesday Rides
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An Overnight Trip to Coromandel
RIC: Nigel Scott
Another great weekend at Coromandel.
Ulyssians doing what they do best - being disgraceful.
Thanks to Jed Durham for the photos.
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Ben Becker with Angel Wings
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Hard Arse Ride to Opononi
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Raffle Prizes and Tattle-Tales Wanted
“Sheriff wants unwanted gifts and wine for birthdays and worthy events in your LIVES “
And please email ‘SHERIFF, I HAVE A TALE’ to Pete.
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Brent donates vouchers monthly for the Social evenings. Pop in to Spectrum and chat to Grant for bike services, bike sales and accessories.
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Become part of the Pro Rider Community
Visit your local motorcycle/scooter shop and ask about a Ride Forever voucher from Pro Rider, get one for a friend. Book via the Pro Rider website and have your say on our Facebook page!
The Pro Rider Riders Club is coming soon. Keep an eye on Facebook!
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Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
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Need that badge sewn on, then call in on Merine.
Phone 021 708677
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I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
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This is the 21st Year of this Special Ride the "ARHT Charity Fundraiser Ride.
Sunday 14th Feb 2016 10am departure so be there by 9am
We are starting from the Papakura RSA on Elliot Street Papakura, they are putting on a breakfast that can be bought for a small fee. We will end at the Warehouse Carpark on Akorana Drive North Shore where there will be food and entertainment.
Please support the charity by purchasing a badge and a Tee shirt this is where the money we get to donate comes from.
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Travelling to the South Island then check out
NZ Classic Motorcycles Museum - Nelson. Located at 75 Haven Road Nelson this is a purpose built museum showcasing one of the largest, comprehensive private collections of classic, veteran and vintage motorcycles and sidecars. It is believed to house one of the largest collections of Brough Superiors south of the equator and for a limited time, is the entrusted curator of the Britten motorcycle. If you are heading that way look them up on their website www.nzclassicmotorcycles.co.nz.
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Rider in Charge (RIC) would appreciate all participants of rides to be at the departure point 10 minutes early with a full tank of gas. If the weather looks suspect then please phone the RIC or check out North Harbour Ulysses facebook page to see if the ride is postponed or cancelled.
The Rider in Charge will be organizing the day. Contact them for details. All riders participating in a Ulysses Ride are expected to hold a current motorcycle license, wear suitable clothing and to have a registered and warranted road-worthy bike.
The organizers and/or the Ulysses Club are not responsible for participants safety and all participants participate at their own risk.
All participants are aware that they are traveling on open public roads and are responsible for their own safety and compliance with all Rules and Laws.
Please check your runs list as some rides or destinations may have changed from initial calendar entry.
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Club Night Meeting and Social Evening
Held at Pupuke Golf Club
231 East Coast Road (opp Sunnynook Rd) Campbells Bay
1st Thursday of the Month.
Meals available from 5.30pm and meeting starts at 7.30pm
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NORTH SHORE DINNER NIGHT MAD DOGS & ENGLISHMEN Link Drive Wairau Park
Every 3rd Wednesday of the month 2014 (6 pm onwards), Bar & kitchen open at 5.30 pm.
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February 4th. It's the 1st Thursday of the month so don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses general meeting night at Pupuke Golf Club. Meals available from 5.30pm. Reservations Here
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Pick Your Own Destinations
Leave Cossie Club at 10.00am
February 7th Waitangi Weekend
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Ulysses Auckland Charity Motorcycle Ride
February 14th Supporting the Rescue Helicopter.
See flyer above.
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February 17th. It's the 3rd Wednesday of the month so it's North Shore dinner night at Mad Dogs and Englishman, Link Drive. Reservations Here.
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February
21st
Sunday

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Red Knights Burns Run
See Flyer Above
Also weekend of Paeroa Street Races
David McAnulty's Ride to Parua planned for this weekend has been postponed.
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February
28th
Sunday
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Waitomo Area Ride
Departs Papakura BP Service Station at 10.00am
RIC: Peter Hyde
Mobile: 021 9977926
Medium
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Cambridge Toy Run
March 6th
See flyer above.
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March 10th. It's NOT the 1st Thursday of the month THIS TIME ONLY so don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses general meeting night at Pupuke Golf Club. Meals available from 5.30pm. Reservations Here
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Midweek Wednesday Rides and now Tuesday (check out NH Ulysses facebook page for details.)
Are you free to ride Midweek?
Why not join fellow Ulyssians on Wednesday's
Departs NS Cossie Club at 10.30am
Destination decided on the day.
These rides are proving very popular.
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Highlight your calendar with these upcoming rides or events.
Taumaranui Cart Track Rally
February 12th to 14th 2016
Runs & Rallies
MARCH
5 – 6 Frankton Thunder, Hamilton (see Facebook for details)
6 Cambridge to Hamilton Toy Run, Waikato Branch
11 – 13 GUSS Rally, Nelson Branch
18 – 20 National Rally & AGM, Westport
20 Kapiti Coast Toy Run, Kapiti Coast Branch
31 Northern Odyssey,
final date for Entries
APRIL
3 Tauranga Ulysses Toy Run, Tauranga Branch
23 – 25 End of Summer Rally, Hawke’s Bay Branch
25 Northern Odyssey, finishes
MAY
20 -22 Tauranga Ulysses Rally, Waihi Beach
JUNE
17 – 19 Not Final Okataina Rally, Rotorua Branch
NOTE: Ulysses’ events in BOLD
For more details of each event see ad at end of The Ulyssian, or Ulysses website – www.ulysses.org.nz or, contact local Coordinator or, use Google.
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RATES QUOTED FOR:
Ulysses
A discount of 10% off the best available fare applies for travel dates
18 January through to 19 December 2016
Booking conditions and instructions for members are:
Each reservation must be made direct with Interislander online at www.interislander.co.nz
Also check out our Premium Plus onboard lounge upgrades for total comfort at www.interislander.co.nz/Premium-Plus.aspx for 18yrs plus
Simply insert the Promo code “XULY1”on the “Payment details” page then click on “enter” and this will apply the discount.
Membership card is required at the terminal on check in. No membership card and retail fares will be charged.
Space is subject to availability at the time of the booking request.
The normal conditions of the above fare type apply - e.g. Easy Change is 100% refundable if cancelled.
Bookings made through our call centre are at regular rates.
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2 Blokes (Japanese and American) are playing golf. The Japanese guy is getting ready to tee off and suddenly starts talking to his thumb.
American bloke says: "What you doin?"
"Oh, don't worry, with Microtechnology I have a Microphone in my thumb. I was just recording a message."
The 2 men carry on golfing, but all of a sudden the American man makes a funny sound, that amazingly sounds like a fart. The Japanese man looks over at him. 'Oh,' says the American. "Don't worry, I'm just receiving a fax."
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Another Lawyer Story
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”
“What?” said the puzzled groom.
“How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?”
“Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was… God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!”
“Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?”
“You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m gonna get screwed!”
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"TANJOOBERRYMUTTS"
By the time you read through this you will understand "TANJOOBERRYMUTTS".
And only then will you be ready to take on China !
Believe me... you WILL understand!!!
Here goes...
The following is a telephonic exchange between maybe
you as a Hotel guest & room-service in China .
Room Service:
"Morrin. Roon sirbees."
Guest:
"Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service."
Room Service:
" Rye , Roon sirbees...morrin!
Joowish to oddor sunteen?"
Guest:
"Uh.... Yes, I'd like to order bacon & eggs."
Room Service:
"Ow ulai den?"
Guest:
" ........What??"
Room Service:
"Ow ulai den?!?.... Pryed, boyud, pochd?"
Guest:
"Oh, the eggs!
How do I like them?
Sorry...
Scrambled, please."
Room Service:
"Ow ulai dee bayken?
Creepse?"
Guest:
"Crisp will be fine."
Room Service:
"Hokay.
An sahn toes?"
Guest:
"What?"
Room Service:
"An toes.
ulai sahn toes?"
Guest:
"I.... Don't think so.."
RoomService:
"No?
Udo wan sahn toes???"
Guest:
"I feel really bad about this, but I don't
know what 'udo wan sahn toes' means."
RoomService:
"Toes!
Toes!...
Why Uoo don wan toes?...
Ow bow anglish moppin we botter?"
Guest:
"Oh, English muffin!!!
I've got it!
You were saying 'toast'... Fine...Yes,
an English muffin will be fine."
RoomService:
"We botter?"
Guest:
"No, just put the botter on the side."
RoomService:
"Wad?!?"
Guest:
"I mean butter...
Just put the butter on the side."
RoomService:
"Copy?"
Guest:
"Excuse me?"
RoomService:
"Copy.. tea... meel?"
Guest:
"Yes. Coffee, please...
And that's everything."
RoomService:
"One Minnie. Scramah egg, creepse bayken,
Anglish moppin, we botter on sigh & copy...
Rye ??"
Guest:
"Whatever you say."
RoomService:
"Tanjooberrymutts."
Guest:
"You're welcome"
Remember I did say "By the time you read through this...
. YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 'TANJOOBERRYMUTTS'
++++++++++++++++++++++++
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Members Free Ads
Space here for Members advert. Please include Your name and membership number.
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Paul #8047 & Niki Morrison #8052
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Paul Gallagher # 3266
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Clive Hawthorn #8617
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Dennis Linton
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Steve Brackenridge New Member
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Ben Becker
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Hi, you're through to the Incontinence Hotline...Can you hold, please?
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Any views or opinions presented in this newsletter are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the North Harbour Ulysses Branch Committee.
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Please add editor's email address to your contacts to avoid your newsletter ending up in spam.
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