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North Harbour Ulysses Newsletter.
Edition 10
April 2015

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Any time, contributions always welcome.   Email: Editor
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Edition 10

Wishing you all a happy and safe Easter.
Wishing you all might contribute a piece of prose or photo for the next newsletter.

Jeni Van Driel
Annual Coordinators Report, April 2015
Our Branch AGM is Thursday May 7th  2015

I am presenting my report this month so everyone gets a chance to read it before our Branch AGM.

Our Branch has got off to a great start, with branch membership up to around 190.  

We must thank the Auckland Branch for their generous donation of $4500.00 which helped put our finances on a good footing, our Sponsors Cyclespot, Hyosung, Spectrum, Techmoto & ProRider also played a big part and you the members dug deep to get us started.

The North Shore Cosmopolitan Club giving us somewhere to meet took a lot of pressure off the formation committee and we all appreciate the use of this facility, the Cossie Club Committee and the new manager Phil Agent do everything they can to help our branch and giving us our own Friday Raffle Night also helps, the profits we get from these Friday Night meat raffles comes to us by way of a bar/kitchen credit which we hope to use for a happy hour on our Poker Run Dinner Night.

Thanks those who joined our Founding Committee, Niki Morrison, Joy Zaloum and then went on to become part of our 2014/15 committee along with David Moore, John Johnston, Wayne Larsen, Paul Morrison & Rini Van Driel.  Thanks also to our Runs Committee, Rini Van Driel  (Runs Coordinator) , Wayne Larsen, David Moore, John Heebink, Paul Morrison, Nigel Scott, Peter Hyde, Peter Zaloum & David McAnulty.

A special thanks to those members who aren’t on the committee but have pitched in to help make our branch the success it is, Jeni Van Driel,  (Newsletter); Vaughan Nankivell,  (Website); John Heebink, (Facebook Page); Peter Webb, (Sheriff), Dianne Webb, (Club Night Raffles) & Dale Painter, Quartermaster).

Club Night; 
We are regularly getting 80-90 along to club night at the Cossie Club with many members taking advantage of the meals put on by Terri, the Cossie Club cook.  Diane Webb does a great job with the raffles and Sheriff Pete adds some humour and collects the fines. Many of our members have become a member of the Cossie Club and take advantage of the facilities and membership draw etc. If you join the Cossie you can use your membership to enter any Chartered Club in NZ.
35-45  members come to our Maddogs & Englishmen Wednesday Night Dinner, we are now enjoying a “regulars” discount and will shortly be given a “regulars discount  card” which you will be able to use at anytime.
Our Mid Winter BBQ was a great success with 90 members & visitors attending, we made our own meat and vegan patties with the salads being supplied by the Cossie Club, Techmoto gave us two $100 vouchers which went down well & music by Jax was very much appreciated.  Our thanks to everyone who pitched in to make this a good day, we will be doing it again this July coming.
The December Xmas Dinner
90 members & visitors  came to Maddogs for our Xmas Dinner which we have run for a number of years.  This year we will be making a change to a Dine & Dance on Saturday 19th Dec., this will enable everyone to make a night of it and relax on the Sunday.
As I said we have been blessed with great Branch sponsors & supporters, in the last week I have visited all our sponsors who have all agreed to continue to support us for the 2015/16 year. The only way we can keep our sponsors is to give them 1st choice when you need a bike or motorcycle related gear, make sure you visit them and let them know you are a North Harbour Branch member.
Ronald McDonald House
Those who were at our March Club night will know we are trying to resurrect the “Ronnie Run”.  Thanks to Vaughan Nankivell planning has started and hopefully we will have something positive to report as soon as the Auckland Council lets us know their requirements.
I am proud of what we have achieved as a Branch, we have introduced half a dozen 25 year members who have returned to the fold since North Harbour was formed, we have gained around 40 new members since we formed and everyone appears to be enjoying our rides & social functions.  Let’s make sure this continues for the 2015/16 year.

I am standing for Branch Coordinator again this year, I hope I have met your expectations over 2014/15.  As the saying goes we can’t please everyone all the time, but as long as we please most of the people most of the time I’m happy. 
Wayne Painter #1756 L/M
North Harbour Branch Coordinator
Ulysses Club (NZ) Inc.
North Harbour Ulysses AGM
Thursday May 7th

North Shore Cosmopolitan Club.  Meals available from 5.30pm .
We need confirmed and paid entries for our Poker Run so we can confirm the meals at the Cosi Club for our Dine & Dance, Brett Wallace is entertaining us so it will be a great night. If for some reason you can’t make the Poker Run just book for the evenings Dine & Dance.
We also need some more members who are willing to billet visitors, please  email me. 
Wayne Painter #1756 L/M, North Harbour Branch Coordinator
The 2015 Ronald McDonald Ride
It was heart-warming to see the level and extent of the support for Ronald McDonald House Auckland at the last Branch Meeting.  They were unaminously approved as our official charity partner.
You can find more information on Ronald McDonald House Auckland and the work they do by going to their website.
We are excited to bring back “The Ronnie Run” which ran for around 14 years through to 2005.  The official name is now The 2015 Ronald McDonald Ride supporting Ronald McDonald House Auckland organised by Ulysses Club, North Harbour Branch (North Harbour Ulysses).  The ride will start from the Cosi Club and head towards Auckland Hospital with a halfway stop for the kids and families outside Ronald McDonald House Auckland. Then back to the Cosi Club for prize giving.
Please save this date and make every effort to attend.
Sunday 27th September 2015.
We have also set-up a fund-raising page through Give-A-Little where you can make a donation online and 100% of the funds goes to Ronald McDonald House Auckland.  You get a tax deductible receipt and so far $150 has been donated from 3 donors. I think we can do better.  If everyone gave up the cost of a coffee once a month ($5) - that would raise over $12,000 per year from Ulysses North Harbour for RMHA.
Let’s get behind it and set the benchmark as far as what this branch of the Ulysses Club can do for our community.
 Kind regards
Vaughan Nankivell 
North Harbour Ulysses Branch Shirts and Ulysses Gear
Black & Maroon Dri Gear Branch Shirts 
with North Harbour Branch Logo, now available.
Dale has a large selection of Ulysses gear for sale, from buckles to t-shirts.
See Dale on Club night.
Please support North Harbour Branch sponsors.
Cyclespot Group, Major North Harbour Branch Sponsor
Grant donates vouchers monthly for Social Evenings and
 advertises in the monthly newsletter.  
Pop into Cyclespot and check out the range of bikes & accessories.
Hyosung Motorcycles are located at 73 Barrys Point Road, Takapuna. We are New Zealand’s biggest Hyosung dealership and also New Zealand’s distributors for these excellent Korean made bikes carrying a full range of demonstrators from 50cc scooters to the four 650cc LAMS models. Our spare parts inventory incorporates 25,000 items and we regularly achieve a 98% supply rate. Our extremely talented technician has all the factory diagnostic equipment on hand and even better he really knows how to use it!
Savings up to $1000 on new Hyosung's. Demonstrators in store, MTF finance available T.A.P and discounted insurance through Protecta or Vero.
Email: Click to email Sales or Click here to email Workshop.
Business Hours
Mon 8:30am – 5:30pm      Tue 8:30am – 5:30pm 
Wed 8:30am – 5:30pm      Thu 8:30am – 5:30pm 
Fri 8:30am – 5:30pm          Sat 9:00am – 4.00pm
Sun Closed
Techmoto: Sponsor of Monthly Meat Raffles 
Discounts for Ulysses and SuperGold card holders, located in the iconic former industrial area now converted to shops and plenty of bars, cafes and above all, good coffee!
Phil and Gail Scott's Techmoto store caters for road and adventure riders with high quality helmets and apparel from Arai, Nolan and Spidi.  There is a huge range of Givi and Ventura luggage, plus motorcycle-specific tools as well as spares and accessories. 
Open weekdays 9.30-5.30 and 9.00-4.00 on Saturday Phone 
09 4461610
When you get a bladder infection you know urine trouble.
If it is your birthday this month, don't forget to take a bottle of wine for the raffles on club night.
If you have any unwanted gifts, donate them for the raffle prizes.
Subscriber Details
At the bottom of this newsletter is a link so you can update your subscriber details.  There is also a button if you really want to cancel your subscription.
Wine Bottle Caps
Save your bottle tops from your wine bottles and bring along to each monthly meeting. These get passed onto Lions Club who collect as a fundraiser for Child Dialysis.  Get your local restaurant on board and have them keep the bottle tops for you.  

Indique is one of many restaurants who save all their wine caps in support of Child Dialysis.  I can personally recommend Indique for great food and service.

Please support the North Harbour Ulysses Poker Run.
Contact Wayne if you have any prizes or know of any sponsors that can donate prizes for our inaugural Poker Ride. Any donations gratefully received.


As a club we have been invited to join
the Repco Club to obtain discounts.

Ulysses Members can apply here 
Reviews and Photo Gallery 
No ride reviews this month but thanks to contributions from:
Barry Holland
Andrew from Adventure Powersports displayed a couple of new Benelli's at last months meetings.  He has opened a second shop at 255 Archers Road, Glenfield.  Mobile phone 021 2423210
Article supplied by Barry Holland.
Battlefields on a Bike Ltd 
Please allow me to introduce our organisation, Battlefields On A Bike Ltd.
More information on BOAB here: Click 
BOAB conduct guided motorcycle tours to the battlefields, memorials and cemeteries located in Europe. We are also a Royal British Legion Remembrance Travel partner conducting guided motorcycle tours, again to the battlefields, memorials and cemeteries, on their behalf. Every RBL/RT tour conducted raises funds for the RBL.
More on Remembrance Travel here: Click 
Chris Cherry, my partner, was the regimental historian with the Grenadier Guards for over 5 years and has researched military history for over 20 years so his knowledge of military and political history is extensive. Publishing three novels in The Mad Game series has, from all the sales revenue, raised significant funds for RBL and all novels are endorsed as being factually accurate by both The Royal British Legion and The Western Front Association. Chris is also recognised and accredited battlefield guide registered with the Guild of Battlefield Guides so he’s well qualified to lead such tours.  
More on Chris here: Click and here Click 
Reviewing your websites it appears your membership profile fits with the target market for our remembrance battlefield motorcycle tours. Although we have standard tours on offer, as listed on our website, we are able to customise a tour to fit the preferences of specific groups from anywhere in the world who ancestors were involved in the conflicts of the 20th century. Please be aware that our tours are not a ride through Belgium and France to browse a number of historic locations. All clients are supplied with a quality Personal Mobile Radio, listen only, to enable Chris to paint a picture of the events that took place as we travel to the various locations. At the designated locations Chris provides a presentation that will bring the historic event to life and in some cases even surprise you.
In an effort to personalise our tours, with notice and the agreement of the tour group, we also try to accommodate a visit to a cemetery for any client who wishes to pay their respects to a fallen relative. As you’ll see from our website and Facebook page we have done this on a number of occasions.
If you consider this to be of interest to your members we would sincerely appreciate this communication being circulated to your membership. If you require additional information or need additional information concerning our offerings please do not hesitate to contact me.
Thank you
Kind regards
Paul Rogers
Tour Manager
Battlefields on a Bike
Saffron House
Mayville Drive
M20 3RB
Office 0161 771 2945
Fax: 0161 332 8337
Peter Webb
Raffle Prizes and Tattle-Tales Wanted
 “Sheriff wants unwanted gifts and wine for birthdays and worthy events in your LIVES “
And please email ‘SHERIFF, I HAVE A TALE’ to Pete. 
Does wine count as a serving of fruit.

Who is This?

This photo was taken of her as a 16 year old, with her brother and dog.
I'll give you the answer next month.  
By the way, she is no longer afraid of spiders.

Please send me your photos.  You will enjoy digging through all those memories.

Brent donates vouchers monthly for the Social evenings.  Pop in to Spectrum and chat to Grant for bike services, bike sales and accessories. 
Become part of the Pro Rider Community
Visit your local motorcycle/scooter shop and ask about a Ride Forever voucher from Pro Rider, get one for a friend. Book via the Pro Rider website and have your say on our Facebook page!
The Pro Rider Riders Club is coming soon. Keep an eye on Facebook!

Get your learner licence

The Basic Handling Skills test is the first step to gaining your Motorcycle Learner Licence.
Auckland  •  Tauranga    Book Now!

Ride Forever Graduated learning programme

The ACC funded Ride forever courses have a range of graduated levels:
  •  Urban/Scooter/Baby Bronze    •  Bronze  •  Silver    •  Gold

Gravel & Adventure Riding                                          

A combination of gravel and loose surface back roads. A brilliant way to hone your riding skills.
Here's what riders from the last course said:
"Great day, didn't realise how much fun you could have on a road bike on gravel." - S Dean
"Significantly improved my confidence and safety on gravel" - C JacksonSat 18 April •  South Auckland $249

Course caters for Dual Purpose & Road Bikes   

Book Now!

Ride Forever whole day courses
Take your riding to the next level!

• Improve your skills   • Develop safe riding practices
• Identify areas to improve on
Bronze course $20  Silver or Gold $50  Book Now!
Courses booking out so get in quick, check website for latest dates.

4 hour Winter Refresher

Stay out of the cold, no need to bring a bike!
• Motorcycle maintenance • Winter Visibility • Urban Riding •  Roadcraft skills  
Auckland Central Sat 2 & 30 May ONLY $25  
Book Now!
Check out ProRider Website for all available courses.
Marge, Tina, and Cindy had made plans to attend the premiere of Madonna's film Evita.  All three looked forward to the event, but at the last minute an unforeseen emergency at work prevented Cindy from going with them. Feeling bad for Cindy's sake, the other two sniffled and wept.  But Cindy consoled them: "Don't cry for me, Marge and Tina."

Need that badge sewn on, then call in on Merine.
I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.
Click Here for Printer Friendly Runs List
Ulysses North Harbour
Runs and Event Calendar
Runs Coordinator
Rider in Charge (RIC) would appreciate all participants of rides to be at the departure point 10 minutes early with a full tank of gas.  If the weather looks suspect then please phone the RIC to see if the ride is postponed or cancelled. 

The Rider in Charge will be organizing the day.  Contact them for details.  All riders participating in a Ulysses Ride are expected to hold a current motorcycle license, wear suitable clothing and to have a registered and warranted road-worthy bike.

The organizers and/or the Ulysses Club are not responsible for participants safety and all participants participate at their own risk.

All participants are aware that they are traveling on open public roads and are responsible for their own safety and compliance with all Rules and Laws.

Please check your runs list as some rides or destinations may have changed from initial calendar entry.
Club Night Meeting and Social Evening
Held at North Shore Cosmopolitan Club,  
65 Paul Mathews Drive, Albany
1st Thursday of the Month.
Meals available from 5.30pm and meeting starts at 7.30pm
Every 3rd Wednesday of the month 2014 (6 pm onwards), Bar & kitchen open at 5.30 pm.

April 2nd. It's the 1st Thursday of the month so don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses general meeting night at the North Shore Cosmopolitan Club.  Meals available from 5.30pm.  Reservations Here

Ulysses AGM Tauranga

Departs Papakura Service Centre at 7.00am
Annual General Meeting starts at 10.00am in Tauranga.

RIC: Wayne Larsen
Mobile: 021 02828442
Home: 09 4768071
April 12th Sunday.  

April 15th.  It's the 3rd Wednesday of the month so it's North Shore dinner night at Mad Dogs and Englishman, Link Drive.  Reservations Here.
MacNut Cafe and Farm for Lunch
Departs North Shore Cossie Club at 10.00am
RIC: Nigel Scott
Mobile:  021 2447724
Home: 09 428 3714

April 26th, Sunday
Departs Papakura Service Centre at 10.00am
RIC: Peter Zaloum
Mobile: 021 1807840
Home: 09 4190725

Nikau cave cafe for lunch.
Optional cave tour 1:30pm for about 1.5 hours.
The cave tour is recommended, you might even meet Gollum.  See the website for full details, cost and lots of information about the caves and what to wear.
An alternative 1 hour return scenic waterfall bushwalk at no charge is available for those who like to stay above ground or just hang out and chew the fat.. 
Return to Pokeno for ice cream etc. then make your own way home.
Bookings are recommended and can be done by Email: or Phone: (09) 233 3199.  Make sure to book for the 1:30pm trip
May 1st and 2nd

Entertainment and meals available at Cossie Club on Friday

Poker Run
Entry Form Here

Departs North Shore Cossie Club

May 7th. It's the 1st Thursday of the month so don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses Annual general meeting night at the North Shore Cosmopolitan Club.  Meals available from 5.30pm.  Reservations Here

Maraetai/Kaiaua Ride

Departs  North Shore Cossie Club at 10.00am

RIC: David McAnulty
Mobile: 021 1844100
Home: 09 8109798
Whangarei Basin Cafe Run
Departs Dairy Flat Service Centre at 10.00am
RIC: Paul Morrison
Mobile:  021 909350
Home: 09 4203247 

Copycat ride of our inaugural ride last year.
Waipu Pizza Barn for lunch

Departs Dairy Flat Service Centre at 10.00am

RIC: Wayne Painter
Mobile:  027 2891018


Waiomu Beach Cafe

Departs Papakura Service Centre at 10.00am

RIC: Wayne Larsen
Mobile: 021 02828442
Home: 09 4768071
June 4th. It's the 1st Thursday of the month so don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses general meeting night at the North Shore Cosmopolitan Club.  Meals available from 5.30pm.  Reservations Here

Country Cruise to Matakana

Departs  North Shore Cossie Club at 10.00am

RIC: David McAnulty
Mobile: 021 1844100
Home: 09 8109798
Dave's Midweek Wednesday Rides
RIC: Dave Moore
Mobile: 027 3225599
Home: 09 4451540
Are you free to ride Midweek?
Why not join Dave on Wednesday's
Departs NS Cossie Club at 11.00am
Destination decided on the day.
These rides are proving very popular.
Highlight your calendar with these upcoming rides or events.

North Harbour Ulysses  Ronnie Run supporting Ronald McDonald House
27th September
 Okataina Rally 19-21 June 2015.

Due to the imminent closure of Okataina Camp this will be the last ever Okataina Rally.

Click here for registration form.
Members stuff For Sale.  

 R1100RS for sale. 
1995 BMW R1100RS for $6200.00
Contact Beau direct on 021 101 4131.
Q. How do Biblical scholars know that King David rode a motorcycle?
A. Because in the Bible, it says that David's Triumph could be heard throughout the land...

Q: What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog?
A: The dog can get in the back of the pickup by itself.

Q: Why do Harley owners have tassels on their handlebars and clothing?
A: To be able to tell if they're moving or not !
Sorry Pete!  Just had to do it.

Top 10 Reasons Why Harley Riders Don't Wave at Other Motorcyclists.
10) They're way too cool to acknowledge any non-Harley riders.
9)   They're too busy daydreaming about owning a real motorcycle.
8)   Their engine is too weak to handle the added wind resistance of a      
       waving hand.

7)   The Rottie (in back of the pickup truck with the tied down Harley) is
       easily upset by rapid hand movements.

6)   Are you kidding? Risk their lives trying to control a Harley with just
      one hand!

5)   They're too busy humming "Born to be Wild" while fantasizing about
       being Peter Fonda or Dennis Hopper.

4)   They're too busy figuring out how to pay for the next order of genuine
       Harley accessories (including the "official" HD calculator needed to
       add up the cost).

3)    If we really have to tell you, you won't understand anyway.
2)   They can't see you because their half-shell helmet keeps falling down
       over their eyes.

1)   They think we are actually trying to draw their attention to the parts
       falling off their bikes, and they are sick and tired of it.
A man was talking to his neighbour.
"I just bought a new hearing aid.  
It only cost me $50, but it's state of the art.  It's perfect."

"Really?" answered the neighbour.  "What type is it?"
"Half past twelve."
A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive woman sitting by
herself and asks,
"May I buy you a cocktail?"
"No thank you," she replies, "alcohol is bad for my legs."

"Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"
"No, they spread."
How does a woman scare a Gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist.


A blonde was taking helicopter lessons.
The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1,000 feet to see how you're doing."
At 1,000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great.
At 2,000 feet, he said she was still doing well.

Right before she got to 3,000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground.
The instructor ran to where she crashed and pulled her out of the helicopter.
He asked her, "What went wrong?"

The blonde said, "At 2,500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off."

Confucius did not say...
"Dirty hands make your nose itch."

"Difference between pink and purple ..... is your grip"

Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning.
It was a fine spring day in his new parish.
He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.
He then noticed there was . . . a pig lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
He promptly called the local  police station.
The conversation went like this:
"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"
 “And the best of the day te yerself.
This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann's Catholic Church. There's a pig lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the Irish accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"
There was dead silence on the line for a moment . . . .. . ... ..........
Father O'Malley then replied:
"Aye,' tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call."

Road Safety signs as seen in South Australia

Some cannibals get a job in a big corporation on the condition that they don't eat any of the other staff.  Things go well until their boss calls them into his office one day and gives them some bad news - a janitor is missing in mysterious circumstances and the cannibals are under suspicion.  The cannibals get together after work and their leader asks, "Which one of you idiots ate the janitor?"  One of the other cannibals nervously raises his hand.  "You idiot!" yells the leader.  "For weeks we've been feasting on team leaders, union reps, human resources staff and health and safety consultants, then you go and ruin it for the rest of us by eating someone they'll actually miss!"
Members Free Ads

Space here for Members advert.  Please include Your name and membership number.
Wayne #1756 & Dale Painter #1774
Paul #8047 & Niki Morrison #8052
Paul Gallagher # 3266
Clive Hawthorn #8617
Dennis Linton
Never be afraid to slow down!
Any views or opinions presented in this newsletter are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the North Harbour Ulysses Branch Committee.
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