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Techmoto: Sponsor of Monthly Meat Raffles
Discounts for Ulysses and SuperGold card holders, located in the iconic former industrial area now converted to shops and plenty of bars, cafes and above all, good coffee!
Phil and Gail Scott's Techmoto store caters for road and adventure riders with high quality helmets and apparel from Arai, Nolan and Spidi. There is a huge range of Givi and Ventura luggage, plus motorcycle-specific tools as well as spares and accessories.
Open weekdays 9.30-5.30 and 9.00-4.00 on Saturday Phone 09 4461610
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When you get a bladder infection you know urine trouble.
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Raffles
If it is your birthday this month, don't forget to take a bottle of wine for the raffles on club night.
If you have any unwanted gifts, donate them for the raffle prizes.
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Subscriber Details
At the bottom of this newsletter is a link so you can update your subscriber details. There is also a button if you really want to cancel your subscription.
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Wine Bottle Caps
Save your bottle tops from your wine bottles and bring along to each monthly meeting. These get passed onto Lions Club who collect as a fundraiser for Child Dialysis. Get your local restaurant on board and have them keep the bottle tops for you.
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Indique is one of many restaurants who save all their wine caps in support of Child Dialysis. I can personally recommend Indique for great food and service.
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Please support the North Harbour Ulysses Poker Run.
Contact Wayne if you have any prizes or know of any sponsors that can donate prizes for our inaugural Poker Ride. Any donations gratefully received.
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Reviews and Photo Gallery
No ride reviews this month but thanks to contributions from:
Barry Holland
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Andrew from Adventure Powersports displayed a couple of new Benelli's at last months meetings. He has opened a second shop at 255 Archers Road, Glenfield. Mobile phone 021 2423210
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Article supplied by Barry Holland.
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Battlefields on a Bike Ltd
Please allow me to introduce our organisation, Battlefields On A Bike Ltd.
More information on BOAB here: Click
BOAB conduct guided motorcycle tours to the battlefields, memorials and cemeteries located in Europe. We are also a Royal British Legion Remembrance Travel partner conducting guided motorcycle tours, again to the battlefields, memorials and cemeteries, on their behalf. Every RBL/RT tour conducted raises funds for the RBL.
More on Remembrance Travel here: Click
Chris Cherry, my partner, was the regimental historian with the Grenadier Guards for over 5 years and has researched military history for over 20 years so his knowledge of military and political history is extensive. Publishing three novels in The Mad Game series has, from all the sales revenue, raised significant funds for RBL and all novels are endorsed as being factually accurate by both The Royal British Legion and The Western Front Association. Chris is also recognised and accredited battlefield guide registered with the Guild of Battlefield Guides so he’s well qualified to lead such tours.
More on Chris here: Click and here Click
Reviewing your websites it appears your membership profile fits with the target market for our remembrance battlefield motorcycle tours. Although we have standard tours on offer, as listed on our website, we are able to customise a tour to fit the preferences of specific groups from anywhere in the world who ancestors were involved in the conflicts of the 20 th century. Please be aware that our tours are not a ride through Belgium and France to browse a number of historic locations. All clients are supplied with a quality Personal Mobile Radio, listen only, to enable Chris to paint a picture of the events that took place as we travel to the various locations. At the designated locations Chris provides a presentation that will bring the historic event to life and in some cases even surprise you.
In an effort to personalise our tours, with notice and the agreement of the tour group, we also try to accommodate a visit to a cemetery for any client who wishes to pay their respects to a fallen relative. As you’ll see from our website and Facebook page we have done this on a number of occasions.
If you consider this to be of interest to your members we would sincerely appreciate this communication being circulated to your membership. If you require additional information or need additional information concerning our offerings please do not hesitate to contact me.
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Thank you
Kind regards
Paul Rogers
Tour Manager
Battlefields on a Bike
www.battlefieldsonabike.co.uk
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Saffron House
Mayville Drive
Manchester
M20 3RB
Office 0161 771 2945
Fax: 0161 332 8337
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Raffle Prizes and Tattle-Tales Wanted
“Sheriff wants unwanted gifts and wine for birthdays and worthy events in your LIVES “
And please email ‘SHERIFF, I HAVE A TALE’ to Pete.
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Does wine count as a serving of fruit.
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Who is This?
This photo was taken of her as a 16 year old, with her brother and dog.
I'll give you the answer next month.
By the way, she is no longer afraid of spiders.
Please send me your photos. You will enjoy digging through all those memories.
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Brent donates vouchers monthly for the Social evenings. Pop in to Spectrum and chat to Grant for bike services, bike sales and accessories.
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Become part of the Pro Rider Community
Visit your local motorcycle/scooter shop and ask about a Ride Forever voucher from Pro Rider, get one for a friend. Book via the Pro Rider website and have your say on our Facebook page!
The Pro Rider Riders Club is coming soon. Keep an eye on Facebook!
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Get your learner licence
The Basic Handling Skills test is the first step to gaining your Motorcycle Learner Licence.
Auckland • Tauranga Book Now!
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Ride Forever Graduated learning programme
The ACC funded Ride forever courses have a range of graduated levels:
• Urban/Scooter/Baby Bronze • Bronze • Silver • Gold
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Gravel & Adventure Riding
A combination of gravel and loose surface back roads. A brilliant way to hone your riding skills.
Here's what riders from the last course said:
"Great day, didn't realise how much fun you could have on a road bike on gravel." - S Dean
"Significantly improved my confidence and safety on gravel" - C JacksonSat 18 April • South Auckland $249

Course caters for Dual Purpose & Road Bikes
Book Now!
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Ride Forever whole day courses
Take your riding to the next level!
• Improve your skills • Develop safe riding practices
• Identify areas to improve on
Bronze course $20 Silver or Gold $50 Book Now!
Courses booking out so get in quick, check website for latest dates.
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4 hour Winter Refresher
Stay out of the cold, no need to bring a bike!
• Motorcycle maintenance • Winter Visibility • Urban Riding • Roadcraft skills
Auckland Central Sat 2 & 30 May ONLY $25
Book Now!
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Marge, Tina, and Cindy had made plans to attend the premiere of Madonna's film Evita. All three looked forward to the event, but at the last minute an unforeseen emergency at work prevented Cindy from going with them. Feeling bad for Cindy's sake, the other two sniffled and wept. But Cindy consoled them: "Don't cry for me, Marge and Tina."
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Need that badge sewn on, then call in on Merine.
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I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.
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Rider in Charge (RIC) would appreciate all participants of rides to be at the departure point 10 minutes early with a full tank of gas. If the weather looks suspect then please phone the RIC to see if the ride is postponed or cancelled.
The Rider in Charge will be organizing the day. Contact them for details. All riders participating in a Ulysses Ride are expected to hold a current motorcycle license, wear suitable clothing and to have a registered and warranted road-worthy bike.
The organizers and/or the Ulysses Club are not responsible for participants safety and all participants participate at their own risk.
All participants are aware that they are traveling on open public roads and are responsible for their own safety and compliance with all Rules and Laws.
Please check your runs list as some rides or destinations may have changed from initial calendar entry.
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Club Night Meeting and Social Evening
Held at North Shore Cosmopolitan Club,
65 Paul Mathews Drive, Albany
1st Thursday of the Month.
Meals available from 5.30pm and meeting starts at 7.30pm
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NORTH SHORE DINNER NIGHT MAD DOGS & ENGLISHMEN Link Drive Wairau Park
Every 3rd Wednesday of the month 2014 (6 pm onwards), Bar & kitchen open at 5.30 pm.
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April 2nd. It's the 1st Thursday of the month so don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses general meeting night at the North Shore Cosmopolitan Club. Meals available from 5.30pm. Reservations Here
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Ulysses AGM Tauranga
Departs Papakura Service Centre at 7.00am
Annual General Meeting starts at 10.00am in Tauranga.
RIC: Wayne Larsen
Mobile: 021 02828442
Home: 09 4768071
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April 12th Sunday.

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April 15th. It's the 3rd Wednesday of the month so it's North Shore dinner night at Mad Dogs and Englishman, Link Drive. Reservations Here.
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MacNut Cafe and Farm for Lunch
Departs North Shore Cossie Club at 10.00am
RIC: Nigel Scott
Mobile: 021 2447724
Home: 09 428 3714
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April 26th, Sunday
Departs Papakura Service Centre at 10.00am
RIC: Peter Zaloum
Mobile: 021 1807840
Home: 09 4190725
Nikau cave cafe for lunch.
Optional cave tour 1:30pm for about 1.5 hours.
The cave tour is recommended, you might even meet Gollum. See the website www.nikaucave.co.nz for full details, cost and lots of information about the caves and what to wear.
An alternative 1 hour return scenic waterfall bushwalk at no charge is available for those who like to stay above ground or just hang out and chew the fat..
Return to Pokeno for ice cream etc. then make your own way home.
Bookings are recommended and can be done by Email: info@nikaucave.co.nz or Phone: (09) 233 3199. Make sure to book for the 1:30pm trip
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May 1st and 2nd
Weekend

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Entertainment and meals available at Cossie Club on Friday
Poker Run
Saturday
Entry Form Here
Departs North Shore Cossie Club
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May 7th. It's the 1st Thursday of the month so don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses Annual general meeting night at the North Shore Cosmopolitan Club. Meals available from 5.30pm. Reservations Here
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Maraetai/Kaiaua Ride
Departs North Shore Cossie Club at 10.00am
RIC: David McAnulty
Mobile: 021 1844100
Home: 09 8109798
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Whangarei Basin Cafe Run
Departs Dairy Flat Service Centre at 10.00am
RIC: Paul Morrison
Mobile: 021 909350
Home: 09 4203247
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Copycat ride of our inaugural ride last year.
Waipu Pizza Barn for lunch
Departs Dairy Flat Service Centre at 10.00am
RIC: Wayne Painter
Mobile: 027 2891018
Medium
*********************
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Waiomu Beach Cafe
Departs Papakura Service Centre at 10.00am
RIC: Wayne Larsen
Mobile: 021 02828442
Home: 09 4768071
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June 4th. It's the 1st Thursday of the month so don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses general meeting night at the North Shore Cosmopolitan Club. Meals available from 5.30pm. Reservations Here
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Country Cruise to Matakana
Departs North Shore Cossie Club at 10.00am
RIC: David McAnulty
Mobile: 021 1844100
Home: 09 8109798
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Dave's Midweek Wednesday Rides
RIC: Dave Moore
Mobile: 027 3225599
Home: 09 4451540
Are you free to ride Midweek?
Why not join Dave on Wednesday's
Departs NS Cossie Club at 11.00am
Destination decided on the day.
These rides are proving very popular.
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Highlight your calendar with these upcoming rides or events.
North Harbour Ulysses Ronnie Run supporting Ronald McDonald House
27th September
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Okataina Rally 19-21 June 2015.
Due to the imminent closure of Okataina Camp this will be the last ever Okataina Rally.
Click here for registration form.
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Members stuff For Sale.
R1100RS for sale.
1995 BMW R1100RS for $6200.00
Contact Beau direct on 021 101 4131.
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Q. How do Biblical scholars know that King David rode a motorcycle?
A. Because in the Bible, it says that David's Triumph could be heard throughout the land...
Q: What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog?
A: The dog can get in the back of the pickup by itself.
Q: Why do Harley owners have tassels on their handlebars and clothing?
A: To be able to tell if they're moving or not !
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Sorry Pete! Just had to do it.
Top 10 Reasons Why Harley Riders Don't Wave at Other Motorcyclists.
10) They're way too cool to acknowledge any non-Harley riders.
9) They're too busy daydreaming about owning a real motorcycle.
8) Their engine is too weak to handle the added wind resistance of a
waving hand.
7) The Rottie (in back of the pickup truck with the tied down Harley) is
easily upset by rapid hand movements.
6) Are you kidding? Risk their lives trying to control a Harley with just
one hand!
5) They're too busy humming "Born to be Wild" while fantasizing about
being Peter Fonda or Dennis Hopper.
4) They're too busy figuring out how to pay for the next order of genuine
Harley accessories (including the "official" HD calculator needed to
add up the cost).
3) If we really have to tell you, you won't understand anyway.
2) They can't see you because their half-shell helmet keeps falling down
over their eyes.
1) They think we are actually trying to draw their attention to the parts
falling off their bikes, and they are sick and tired of it.
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A man was talking to his neighbour.
"I just bought a new hearing aid.
It only cost me $50, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really?" answered the neighbour. "What type is it?"
"Half past twelve."
************************************
A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive woman sitting by
herself and asks,
"May I buy you a cocktail?"
"No thank you," she replies, "alcohol is bad for my legs."
"Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"
"No, they spread."
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How does a woman scare a Gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
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A blonde was taking helicopter lessons.
The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1,000 feet to see how you're doing."
At 1,000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great.
At 2,000 feet, he said she was still doing well.
Right before she got to 3,000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground.
The instructor ran to where she crashed and pulled her out of the helicopter.
He asked her, "What went wrong?"
The blonde said, "At 2,500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off."
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Confucius did not say...
"Dirty hands make your nose itch."
"Difference between pink and purple ..... is your grip"
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Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning.
It was a fine spring day in his new parish.
He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.
He then noticed there was . . . a pig lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
He promptly called the local police station.
The conversation went like this:
"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"
“And the best of the day te yerself.
This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann's Catholic Church. There's a pig lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the Irish accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"
There was dead silence on the line for a moment . . . .. . ... ..........
Father O'Malley then replied:
"Aye,' tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call."
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Road Safety signs as seen in South Australia

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Some cannibals get a job in a big corporation on the condition that they don't eat any of the other staff. Things go well until their boss calls them into his office one day and gives them some bad news - a janitor is missing in mysterious circumstances and the cannibals are under suspicion. The cannibals get together after work and their leader asks, "Which one of you idiots ate the janitor?" One of the other cannibals nervously raises his hand. "You idiot!" yells the leader. "For weeks we've been feasting on team leaders, union reps, human resources staff and health and safety consultants, then you go and ruin it for the rest of us by eating someone they'll actually miss!"
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Members Free Ads
Space here for Members advert. Please include Your name and membership number.
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Wayne #1756 & Dale Painter #1774
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Paul #8047 & Niki Morrison #8052
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Paul Gallagher # 3266
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Clive Hawthorn #8617
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Dennis Linton
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Never be afraid to slow down!
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Any views or opinions presented in this newsletter are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the North Harbour Ulysses Branch Committee.
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Please add editor's email address to your contacts to avoid your newsletter ending up in spam.
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