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Techmoto: Sponsor of Monthly Meat Raffles
Discounts for Ulysses and SuperGold card holders, located in the iconic former industrial area now converted to shops and plenty of bars, cafes and above all, good coffee!
Phil and Gail Scott's Techmoto store caters for road and adventure riders with high quality helmets and apparel from Arai, Nolan and Spidi. There is a huge range of Givi and Ventura luggage, plus motorcycle-specific tools as well as spares and accessories.
Open weekdays 9.30-5.30 and 9.00-4.00 on Saturday Phone 09 4461610
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Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
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Raffles
If it is your birthday this month, don't forget to take a bottle of wine for the raffles on club night.
If you have any unwanted gifts, donate them for the raffle prizes.
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Subscriber Details
At the bottom of this newsletter is a link so you can update your subscriber details. There is also a button if you really want to cancel your subscription.
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Wine Bottle Caps
Save your bottle tops from your wine bottles and bring along to each monthly meeting. These get passed onto Lions Club who collect as a fundraiser for Child Dialysis. Get your local restaurant on board and have them keep the bottle tops for you.
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Reviews and Photo Gallery
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Ronnie Run 2015
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Raffle Prizes and Tattle-Tales Wanted
“Sheriff wants unwanted gifts and wine for birthdays and worthy events in your LIVES “
And please email ‘SHERIFF, I HAVE A TALE’ to Pete.
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Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really! Like a newborn baby?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants"
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Giggles & Groans from the Grandson
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
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What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.
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What kind of bees make milk?
Boo-bees.
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If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
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Brent donates vouchers monthly for the Social evenings. Pop in to Spectrum and chat to Grant for bike services, bike sales and accessories.
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Become part of the Pro Rider Community
Visit your local motorcycle/scooter shop and ask about a Ride Forever voucher from Pro Rider, get one for a friend. Book via the Pro Rider website and have your say on our Facebook page!
The Pro Rider Riders Club is coming soon. Keep an eye on Facebook!
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We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
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Need that badge sewn on, then call in on Merine.
Phone 021 708677
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Remembrance Run Badges 2015 and
Ronnie Run Badges
There are a number of badges left over and if you would like to purchase see Dale on Club Night.
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I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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Check runs list for organised ride with
Dave McAnulty
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Travelling to the South Island then check out
NZ Classic Motorcycles Museum - Nelson. Located at 75 Haven Road Nelson this is a purpose built museum showcasing one of the largest, comprehensive private collections of classic, veteran and vintage motorcycles and sidecars. It is believed to house one of the largest collections of Brough Superiors south of the equator and for a limited time, is the entrusted curator of the Britten motorcycle. If you are heading that way look them up on their website www.nzclassicmotorcycles.co.nz.
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Rider in Charge (RIC) would appreciate all participants of rides to be at the departure point 10 minutes early with a full tank of gas. If the weather looks suspect then please phone the RIC or check out North Harbour Ulysses facebook page to see if the ride is postponed or cancelled.
The Rider in Charge will be organizing the day. Contact them for details. All riders participating in a Ulysses Ride are expected to hold a current motorcycle license, wear suitable clothing and to have a registered and warranted road-worthy bike.
The organizers and/or the Ulysses Club are not responsible for participants safety and all participants participate at their own risk.
All participants are aware that they are traveling on open public roads and are responsible for their own safety and compliance with all Rules and Laws.
Please check your runs list as some rides or destinations may have changed from initial calendar entry.
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Club Night Meeting and Social Evening
Held at North Shore Cosmopolitan Club,
65 Paul Mathews Drive, Albany
1st Thursday of the Month.
Meals available from 5.30pm and meeting starts at 7.30pm
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NORTH SHORE DINNER NIGHT MAD DOGS & ENGLISHMEN Link Drive Wairau Park
Every 3rd Wednesday of the month 2014 (6 pm onwards), Bar & kitchen open at 5.30 pm.
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October 1st. It's the 1st Thursday of the month so don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses general meeting night at the North Shore Cosmopolitan Club. Meals available from 5.30pm. Reservations Here
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Night at the Copthorne Omapere
Leaving From Kaukapakapa Firestation at 10am.
RIC: Paul Morrison Mobile: 021 909350 Home: 09 4203247
Book at Copthorne Hokianga for a Social Night away.
Ulysses Club North Harbour Branch Saturday 3 October 2015
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Note from Marina
This is great you are all making your way through the Hokianga again. We would love to share our paradise with you all for the night of Saturday 3rd October 2015.
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Feel like a break away? Marina the Events Manager from Copthorne Hokianga (Omapere) has a deal just for YOU!
Feels like Fiji with no passport required....
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The rate we are happy to offer is: $159.00 and this includes a full cooked breakfast. The rate is for single/twin or double occupancy, if additional guests are in rooms their rate is $50.00 which includes their brekky as well.
I have a mix of rooms being held so everyone just needs to phone through to our reception/ reservations team say they are with the Ulysses group and they can choose a room being held in the block, first in best room with a view of the harbour.
PH: 09 4058737
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Pink Ribbon Motorcycle Charity Ride
October 11th
Stonefields AMI Netball Stadium to Western Springs Park, Auckland
Assemble 9.30 for 10.30 departure
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Sunday
18th October
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Kauri Museum Matakohe
Departs BP Dairy Flat Service Centre at 10.00am
RIC: Les Duffield
Mobile: 021 720100
Home: 09 8141130
Medium
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October 21st. It's the 3rd Wednesday of the month so it's North Shore dinner night at Mad Dogs and Englishman, Link Drive. Reservations Here.
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October 25th Labour Weekend - No ride
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November 5th. It's the 1st Thursday of the month so don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses general meeting night at the North Shore Cosmopolitan Club. Meals available from 5.30pm. Reservations Here
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November
6th, 7th and 8th
Friday to Sunday
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South Taranaki Tourers Weekend
Departs BP Papakura Service Centre
at 10.30am
RIC: Wayne Painter
Mobile: 027 2891018
Excellent weekend away with the South Taranaki Tourers organising a poker run on the Saturday. Let Wayne know if interested so we can book accommodation in Hawera, Taranaki
Long.
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Waihi Sterling Tavern for Lunch
Departs BP Papakura Service Station at 10.00am
RIC: Wayne Larsen
Mobile: 021 02828442
Home: 09 4768071
Medium to Long
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November 18th. It's the 3rd Wednesday of the month so it's North Shore dinner night at Mad Dogs and Englishman, Link Drive. Reservations Here.
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Tairua Ride
Departs BP Papakura Service Station at 10.00am
RIC: Mike Orr
Mobile: 027 2919130
Medium to Long
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Pizza Barn Waipu
3rd time lucky
Departs BP Dairy Flat Service Centre at 10.00am
RIC: Peter Zaloum
Mobile: 021 1807840
Home: 09 4190725
Medium
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December 3rd. It's the 1st Thursday of the month so don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses general meeting night at the North Shore Cosmopolitan Club. Meals available from 5.30pm. Reservations Here
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Vintage Fields Classic Show Thames
Departs BP Papakura Service Station at 10.00am
RIC: David McAnulty
Mobile: 021 1844100
Home: 09 8109798
Medium
See full advert above.
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Note Change of Date
Coromandel Overnighter
Now 12th DecemberDeparts BP Papakura Service Centre at 10.00am
Phone RIC: Nigel Scott 021 2447724
to make bookings at a great motel.
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Christmas Party Dinner and Dance
Saturday 19th December 6.00pm startNorth Shore Cossie Club
Music by North Harbour Rockers
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Midweek Wednesday Rides and now Tuesday (check out NH Ulysses facebook page for details.)
Are you free to ride Midweek?
Why not join fellow Ulyssians on Wednesday's
Departs NS Cossie Club at 11.00am
Destination decided on the day.
These rides are proving very popular.
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Highlight your calendar with these upcoming rides or events.
Dinner and Dance
19th December
Red Knights Burns Run
Ride for the Children of the Burns Unit.
February 2016
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RATES QUOTED FOR:
Ulysses
A discount of 10% off the best available fare applies for travel dates
18 January through to 19 December 2016
Booking conditions and instructions for members are:
Each reservation must be made direct with Interislander online at www.interislander.co.nz
Also check out our Premium Plus onboard lounge upgrades for total comfort at www.interislander.co.nz/Premium-Plus.aspx for 18yrs plus
Simply insert the Promo code “XULY1”on the “Payment details” page then click on “enter” and this will apply the discount.
Membership card is required at the terminal on check in. No membership card and retail fares will be charged.
Space is subject to availability at the time of the booking request.
The normal conditions of the above fare type apply - e.g. Easy Change is 100% refundable if cancelled.
Bookings made through our call centre are at regular rates.
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Might Work!!!!!!!!
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After retiring, a former Gunnery Sergeant in the Canadian Army took a new job as a high school teacher in Cudworth Saskatchewan.
Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a light plaster cast around the upper part of his body.
Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable when he wore his suit coat.
On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school.
The smart-ass punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former soldier, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk.
With a strong breeze blowing it made his tie flap. He picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.
The rest of the year went smoothly.
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A little boy went up to his father one morning and asked, "Dad, where did my intelligence come from?"
The father replied, "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, cos I still have mine."
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How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
21 - One to hold the lightbulb, and 20 to drink until the room spins!
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If a female dog abandons her puppies on the street, is she littering?
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Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
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DEAR GOD, FROM THE DOG
TO: GOD
FROM: THE DOG
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
1 . I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
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"Mr Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775.00 a week."
"That's very fair, your honour," the husband replied. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
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Redneck Birth Control 
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough (they could not afford a larger double wide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beercan, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10. Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . .", at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.... Also works in Tennessee and West Virginia.
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Members Free Ads
Space here for Members advert. Please include Your name and membership number.
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Paul #8047 & Niki Morrison #8052
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Paul Gallagher # 3266
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Clive Hawthorn #8617
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Dennis Linton
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Steve Brackenridge New Member
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Ben Becker
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I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
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Any views or opinions presented in this newsletter are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the North Harbour Ulysses Branch Committee.
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Please add editor's email address to your contacts to avoid your newsletter ending up in spam.
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