North Harbour Ulysses Newsletter.
Edition 16
October 2015

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Edition 16
Amazing efforts and big, big thank you to Vaughan Nankivell for re-instating the Ronnie Run. What a great success, even the Sun Gods were smiling on us.  The generosity of our sponsors made for some wonderful raffle prizes.  A few grateful words from a family who could stay together in Ronald McDonald House after their extremely sick son was rushed to hospital, made us all aware of what a fantastic facility and charity North Harbour Ulysses support.  Check out the photos below.

The figures from Vaughan to date:
280+ bikes
320+ people
TOTAL SO FAR - $7,671
Still to come is the money raised from sausage sizzle….am hoping it will kick it over the $8,000 mark.

It is also nice to see the givealittle campaign for Ronald McDonald House growing.  This campaign has been set up to run for two years.  It is a very simple way to donate to such a worthwhile charity.

I always welcome your contributions for the newsletter.  It takes some of the chore out of compiling this newsletter for you.

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Jeni Van Driel
A HUGE thank you to Vaughan Nankivell for his phenomenal efforts arranging the Ronald McDonald Charity Ride. Approximately 280 bikes, many two up enjoyed a perfect day to help us raise money for the Ronald McDonald House, we had riders from as far afield as Northland, Thames/Waihi, Hamilton, Tauranga and Rotorua. No event is possible without sponsors, thank you Heritage Hotels Ltd, Henry Schein Ltd, Star Insurance Ltd, The CycleSpot Group, TechMoto,  Apex Trophies & Engraving, NZ Police Motorway Patrol, Auckland Transport, North Harbour Hockey Staff and every-one else who made this day possible. 

Honorary North Harbour member Peter “Stoney” Stone #4459 passed away 6th September, his funeral & celebration of a life well lived will be held at the Manukau Memorial Gardens Saturday 3rd October at 2.00pm.  We will assemble at Stoney’s home 12 Lindis Place, Mangere Bridge at 12.30pm to escort him on his last ride which leaves at 1.00pm sharp.

Two important items will be discussed at the National Committee and Coordinators meeting Dale & I are attending in Wellington this month.
You will have read the National President’s report in the Ulyssian on the large logo and rockers on vests and jackets, what are your feelings, should we support a ban on large logos & rockers?  I hope not. (You MUST NOT put MC next to the logo or rockers, Ulysses is a Social Club not a Motorcycle Club)
Secondly there will be a discussion on whether all Branch Leaders are to be called Coordinators or Branch Presidents or do we leave that up to each branch’s members, some people are getting confused I’m not sure why.
If you wish to have a say on these important items that affect the whole Club come along to our Thursday October 1st Club Night and have your say.
There was a misprint in the latest National magazine; the number of members who have resigned since the Club was formed in NZ is 562 NOT 5562.

ACC’s Motorcycle Safety Advisory Council (MSAC) is running a survey to gauge interest - or not – in a safety card for motorcycle riders.
Emergency information card scheme
Do you think a free emergency information card scheme in New Zealand is a good idea? MSAC is after your feedback.
ACC’s Motorcycle Safety Advisory Council (MSAC) is looking into the possibility of introducing a free emergency information card scheme in New Zealand.  The scheme would provide emergency services (Fire, Ambulance and Police) with your vital contact and health information in the event that you crash.  The idea is based on the CRASH card introduced in the UK in 2009 by the Ambulance Motorcycle Club (and other similar schemes around the world).
MSAC would like feedback to see if the idea is feasible and whether motorcyclists will support it.   Click here to go to the MSAC website for further information about the scheme and to take the short survey.  The survey is open until 31 October 2015.

Tickets for our Christmas Dinner & Dance are now available at $25.00, financial Branch members will get a $10.00 subsidy and everyone who buys a ticket will get their 1st drink on the house. Music is by the North Harbour Rockers so get in quick, book a taxi or sort out who will be the sober driver as this will be a fun way to end the year and start the holiday season. Invitation forms are available at club night, dinner night and on our website.
Members should consider joining the Cossie Club, it is not expensive and you can use your membership in any Chartered Club in New Zealand when you are travelling, you can also use the club rooms for private functions at a very low cost. Get a membership form from the bar, join and be there to win the Friday night members draw which increases by $50.00 per week up to a maximum of $1000.00, you have to be there with your membership card to win.

Dates to Remember
3rd October, Stoney’s Funeral.
3rd October, Omapere weekend, Leaving Kaukapakapa Fire Station 10.00am.
11th October Pink Ribbon Ride, Stonefield’s Netball Centre, leaves 10.30am
5th/6th December, Coromandel weekend away, call Nigel Scott for accommodation bookings, 021 244 7724, another good weekend away.
19th December (Saturday), Xmas breakup Dinner & Dance. Get in quick everyone will get a complimentary 1st drink.

Wayne Painter #1756 L/M
Coordinator, North Harbour Branch
Stats from North Harbour Ulysses Website.
Keep up the great work Vaughan Nankivell
We have set-up a fund-raising page through Give-A-Little where you can make a donation online and 100% of the funds goes to Ronald McDonald House Auckland.  You get a tax deductible receipt.  If everyone gave up the cost of a coffee once a month ($5) - that would raise over $12,000 per year from Ulysses North Harbour for RMHA.
Let’s get behind it and set the benchmark as far as what this branch of the Ulysses Club can do for our community.
Givealittle Donations Update   
We have raised $900.00 so far for Ronald McDonald House.  This is a simple and easy way to support the House monthly - every $5, $10, $20 or more goes a long way. Remember that 100% of your donation goes through to the House and anything above $5 is tax deductible.  You will get an emailed receipt within a few minutes of making your donation.  So whether you want to support it with a one-off donation or a regular amount - we appreciate your support.                                                                                                

If you are looking for a local venue hire, catering for 20 to 200 people then check out the North Shore Cosmopolitan Club.  They have a huge dance floor, well stocked bar, outdoor area & very friendly staff.  If you are a member then venue hire is free.
Also available are private areas suitable for business meetings, staff training/demonstrations etc.  Check out for upcoming events and contact information.
North Harbour Ulysses Branch Shirts and Ulysses Gear
Black & Maroon Dri Gear Branch Shirts 
with North Harbour Branch Logo, now available.
Dale has a large selection of Ulysses gear for sale, from buckles to t-shirts.
See Dale on Club night.
Please support North Harbour Branch sponsors.
Cyclespot Group, Major North Harbour Branch Sponsor
Grant donates vouchers monthly for Social Evenings and
 advertises in the monthly newsletter.  
Pop into Cyclespot and check out the range of bikes & accessories.
Priced from $26,995.00 plus ORC
It is with great delight that we introduce the all new Chief Dark Horse, unlike other bikes in the Indian line-up, it is understated with only a flash of chrome and adds a healthy dose of black paint. By all but eliminating the chrome from the motorcycle and swapping to black tubeless cast wheels, the Dark Horse conveys an aggressive pose at odds with the traditional heritage image of Indian.
Blacked out from end to end, the Dark Horse is powered by the highly rated Thunder Stroke 111 engine wrapped in the same chassis and suspension of the Indian Chief Classic.  The Dark Horse also continues the high level of standard specs including ABS brakes, keyless ignition and electronic cruise control. The Dark Horse is an ideal motorcycle for those seeking to customise their rides with just shy of 40 unique accessories. Come in to Cyclespot USA to see it in the flesh.
Hyosung Motorcycles are located at 73 Barrys Point Rd, Takapuna. We are New Zealand’s biggest Hyosung dealership and also New Zealand’s distributors for these excellent Korean made bikes carrying a full range of demonstrators from 50cc scooters to the four 650cc LAMS models. Our spare parts inventory incorporates 25,000 items and we regularly achieve a 98% supply rate. Our extremely talented technician has all the factory diagnostic equipment on hand and even better he really knows how to use it!
 MTF finance available T.A.P and discounted insurance through Protecta or Vero.
Email: Click to email Sales or Click here to email Workshop.
Business Hours
Mon 8:30am – 5:30pm      Tue 8:30am – 5:30pm 
Wed 8:30am – 5:30pm      Thu 8:30am – 5:30pm 
Fri 8:30am – 5:30pm          Sat 9:00am – 4.00pm
Sun Closed
Techmoto: Sponsor of Monthly Meat Raffles 
Discounts for Ulysses and SuperGold card holders, located in the iconic former industrial area now converted to shops and plenty of bars, cafes and above all, good coffee!
Phil and Gail Scott's Techmoto store caters for road and adventure riders with high quality helmets and apparel from Arai, Nolan and Spidi.  There is a huge range of Givi and Ventura luggage, plus motorcycle-specific tools as well as spares and accessories. 
Open weekdays 9.30-5.30 and 9.00-4.00 on Saturday Phone 
09 4461610
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
If it is your birthday this month, don't forget to take a bottle of wine for the raffles on club night.
If you have any unwanted gifts, donate them for the raffle prizes.
Subscriber Details
At the bottom of this newsletter is a link so you can update your subscriber details.  There is also a button if you really want to cancel your subscription.
Wine Bottle Caps
Save your bottle tops from your wine bottles and bring along to each monthly meeting. These get passed onto Lions Club who collect as a fundraiser for Child Dialysis.  Get your local restaurant on board and have them keep the bottle tops for you.  
Reviews and Photo Gallery 
Ronnie Run 2015
Peter Webb
Raffle Prizes and Tattle-Tales Wanted
 “Sheriff wants unwanted gifts and wine for birthdays and worthy events in your LIVES “
And please email ‘SHERIFF, I HAVE A TALE’ to Pete. 

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really! Like a newborn baby?"
. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants"

Giggles & Groans from the Grandson

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? 
The position of the dirt bag.

What kind of bees make milk?
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Brent donates vouchers monthly for the Social evenings.  Pop in to Spectrum and chat to Grant for bike services, bike sales and accessories. 
Become part of the Pro Rider Community
Visit your local motorcycle/scooter shop and ask about a Ride Forever voucher from Pro Rider, get one for a friend. Book via the Pro Rider website and have your say on our Facebook page!
The Pro Rider Riders Club is coming soon. Keep an eye on Facebook!
Check out ProRider Website for all available courses.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

Need that badge sewn on, then call in on Merine.
Phone 021 708677
Remembrance Run Badges 2015 and
Ronnie Run Badges

There are a number of badges left over and if you would like to purchase see Dale on Club Night.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.  
Check runs list for organised ride with
Dave McAnulty
Travelling to the South Island then check out
NZ Classic Motorcycles Museum - Nelson. Located at 75 Haven Road Nelson this is a purpose built museum showcasing one of the largest, comprehensive private collections of classic, veteran and vintage motorcycles and sidecars. It is believed to house one of the largest collections of Brough Superiors south of the equator and for a limited time, is the entrusted curator of the Britten motorcycle. If you are heading that way look them up on their website
Click Here for Printer Friendly Runs List
Ulysses North Harbour
Runs and Event Calendar
Runs Coordinator
Rider in Charge (RIC) would appreciate all participants of rides to be at the departure point 10 minutes early with a full tank of gas.  If the weather looks suspect then please phone the RIC or check out North Harbour Ulysses facebook page to see if the ride is postponed or cancelled. 

The Rider in Charge will be organizing the day.  Contact them for details.  All riders participating in a Ulysses Ride are expected to hold a current motorcycle license, wear suitable clothing and to have a registered and warranted road-worthy bike.

The organizers and/or the Ulysses Club are not responsible for participants safety and all participants participate at their own risk.

All participants are aware that they are traveling on open public roads and are responsible for their own safety and compliance with all Rules and Laws.

Please check your runs list as some rides or destinations may have changed from initial calendar entry.
Club Night Meeting and Social Evening
Held at North Shore Cosmopolitan Club,  
65 Paul Mathews Drive, Albany
1st Thursday of the Month.
Meals available from 5.30pm and meeting starts at 7.30pm
Every 3rd Wednesday of the month 2014 (6 pm onwards), Bar & kitchen open at 5.30 pm.

October 1st. It's the 1st Thursday of the month so don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses general meeting night at the North Shore Cosmopolitan Club.  Meals available from 5.30pm.  Reservations Here 
Night at the Copthorne Omapere

Leaving From Kaukapakapa Firestation at 10am.
RIC: Paul Morrison Mobile: 021 909350 Home: 09 4203247

Book at Copthorne Hokianga for a  Social Night away.
Ulysses Club North Harbour Branch Saturday 3 October 2015

Note from Marina 
This is great you are all making your way through the Hokianga again.   We would love to share our paradise with you all for the night of Saturday 3rd October 2015.
Feel like a break away? Marina the Events Manager from Copthorne Hokianga (Omapere) has a deal just for YOU!  

Feels like Fiji with no passport required....
The rate we are happy to offer is:   $159.00  and this includes a full cooked breakfast.   The rate is for single/twin or double occupancy,  if additional guests are in rooms their rate is $50.00 which includes their brekky as well. 

I have a mix of rooms being held so everyone just needs to phone through to our reception/ reservations team say they are with the Ulysses group and they can choose a room being held in the block, first in best room with a view of the harbour.  
PH:  09 4058737
Pink Ribbon Motorcycle Charity Ride

October 11th 
Stonefields AMI Netball Stadium to Western Springs Park, Auckland
Assemble 9.30 for 10.30 departure
18th October

Kauri Museum Matakohe

Departs BP Dairy Flat Service Centre at 10.00am

RIC: Les Duffield
Mobile:  021 720100
Home: 09 8141130

October 21st.  It's the 3rd Wednesday of the month so it's North Shore dinner night at Mad Dogs and Englishman, Link Drive.  Reservations Here.
October 25th Labour Weekend - No ride
November 5th. It's the 1st Thursday of the month so don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses general meeting night at the North Shore Cosmopolitan Club.  Meals available from 5.30pm.  Reservations Here 
6th, 7th and 8th

Friday to Sunday

South Taranaki Tourers Weekend
Departs BP Papakura  Service Centre
at 10.30am
RIC: Wayne Painter
Mobile: 027 2891018
Excellent weekend away with the South Taranaki Tourers organising a poker run on the Saturday.  Let Wayne know if interested so we can book accommodation in Hawera, Taranaki


Waihi Sterling Tavern for Lunch

Departs  BP Papakura Service Station at 10.00am

RIC: Wayne Larsen
Mobile: 021 02828442
Home: 09 4768071
Medium to Long
November 18th.  It's the 3rd Wednesday of the month so it's North Shore dinner night at Mad Dogs and Englishman, Link Drive.  Reservations Here.

Tairua Ride

Departs  BP Papakura Service Station at 10.00am

RIC: Mike Orr
Mobile: 027 2919130

Medium to Long
November 29th
Pizza Barn Waipu
3rd time lucky

Departs BP Dairy Flat Service Centre at 10.00am

RIC: Peter Zaloum

Mobile:  021 1807840
Home: 09 4190725 
December 3rd. It's the 1st Thursday of the month so don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses general meeting night at the North Shore Cosmopolitan Club.  Meals available from 5.30pm.  Reservations Here 
Vintage Fields Classic Show Thames

Departs  BP Papakura Service Station at 10.00am

RIC: David McAnulty
Mobile: 021 1844100
Home: 09 8109798
See full advert above.

Note Change of Date

Coromandel Overnighter
Now 12th December
Departs BP Papakura Service Centre at 10.00am
Phone RIC: Nigel Scott 021 2447724
to make bookings at a great motel.

Christmas Party Dinner and Dance
Saturday 19th December 6.00pm start
North Shore Cossie Club
Music by North Harbour Rockers 
Midweek Wednesday Rides and now Tuesday (check out NH Ulysses facebook page for details.)
Are you free to ride Midweek?
Why not join fellow Ulyssians on Wednesday's
Departs NS Cossie Club at 11.00am
Destination decided on the day.
These rides are proving very popular.
Highlight your calendar with these upcoming rides or events.

Dinner and Dance
19th December

Red Knights Burns Run 

Ride for the Children of the Burns Unit.
February 2016

A discount of 10% off the best available fare applies for travel dates
18 January through to 19 December 2016
Booking conditions and instructions for members are:
Each reservation must be made direct with Interislander online at
Also check out our Premium Plus onboard lounge upgrades for total comfort at for 18yrs plus 
Simply insert the Promo code “XULY1”on the “Payment details” page then click on “enter” and this will apply the discount.
Membership card is required at the terminal on check in.  No membership card and retail fares will be charged.
Space is subject to availability at the time of the booking request.
The normal conditions of the above fare type apply - e.g. Easy Change is 100% refundable if cancelled.
Bookings made through our call centre are at regular rates.

Might Work!!!!!!!!
After retiring, a former Gunnery Sergeant in the Canadian Army took a new job as a high school teacher in Cudworth Saskatchewan.  

Just before the school year started, he injured his back.
  He was required to wear a light plaster cast around the upper part of his body.
Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable when he wore his suit coat.
On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school.
The smart-ass punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former soldier, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk.
With a strong breeze blowing it made his tie flap. He picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.
The rest of the year went smoothly.
A little boy went up to his father one morning and asked, "Dad, where did my intelligence come from?"

The father replied, "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, cos I still have mine."

How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

21 - One to hold the lightbulb, and 20 to drink until the room spins!


If a female dog abandons her puppies on the street, is she littering?


Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony? 
A. It's not hard. 


I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.



Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1 . I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.


P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

"Mr Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775.00 a week."
"That's very fair, your honour," the husband replied.  "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."

Redneck Birth Control       

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough (they could not afford a larger double wide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beercan, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10. Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . .", at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on  his other hand.... Also works in Tennessee and West Virginia. 

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I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
Any views or opinions presented in this newsletter are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the North Harbour Ulysses Branch Committee.
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