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Techmoto: Sponsor of Monthly Meat Raffles
Discounts for Ulysses and SuperGold card holders, located in the iconic former industrial area now converted to shops and plenty of bars, cafes and above all, good coffee!
Phil and Gail Scott's Techmoto store caters for road and adventure riders with high quality helmets and apparel from Arai, Nolan and Spidi. There is a huge range of Givi and Ventura luggage, plus motorcycle-specific tools as well as spares and accessories.
Open weekdays 9.30-5.30 and 9.00-4.00 on Saturday Phone 09 4461610
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Love your enemies. It'll drive them nuts.
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Raffles
If it is your birthday this month, don't forget to take a bottle of wine for the raffles on club night.
If you have any unwanted gifts, donate them for the raffle prizes.
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Subscriber Details
At the bottom of this newsletter is a link so you can update your subscriber details. There is also a button if you really want to cancel your subscription.
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Wine Bottle Caps
Save your bottle tops from your wine bottles and bring along to each monthly meeting. These get passed onto Lions Club who collect as a fundraiser for Child Dialysis. Get your local restaurant on board and have them keep the bottle tops for you.
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Reviews and Photo Gallery
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Kawasaki's on Display, Courtesy Spectrum
August Club Night.
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Ulysses Remembrance Taupo 2015
Photos courtesy of Peter Webb
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Classic and Custom Bike Show
Photos courtesy of Vaughan Nankivell and Maureen Lowman
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Hamilton Classics Museum
Photos pinched from Charlie Truell's Facebook post.
This museum and cafe is well worth a visit.
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Raffle Prizes and Tattle-Tales Wanted
“Sheriff wants unwanted gifts and wine for birthdays and worthy events in your LIVES “
And please email ‘SHERIFF, I HAVE A TALE’ to Pete.
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A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?" The bartender replied, "They've gone to the hanging." "Hanging? Who are they hanging?" "Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.
"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked. "Well," said the bartender, "he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes."
"Weird guy," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"
"Rustling," said the bartender.
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Giggles & Groans from the Grandson
For Sale: Parachute.
Only used once, never opened, small stain.
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What's the difference between an Hippo and a Zippo?
- One is heavy and the other is a little lighter.
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My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.
A strong currant pulled him in.
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What do you call a magic dog?
- A Labracadabrador.
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Brent donates vouchers monthly for the Social evenings. Pop in to Spectrum and chat to Grant for bike services, bike sales and accessories.
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Become part of the Pro Rider Community
Visit your local motorcycle/scooter shop and ask about a Ride Forever voucher from Pro Rider, get one for a friend. Book via the Pro Rider website and have your say on our Facebook page!
The Pro Rider Riders Club is coming soon. Keep an eye on Facebook!
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A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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Need that badge sewn on, then call in on Merine.
Phone 021 708677
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Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
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Remembrance Run Badges 2015
There are a number of badges left over and if you would like to purchase email Scruff
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We would like to invite your club and members to attend our third biennial “Vintage Fields” Classic and Vintage event to be held over the weekend of December 5 & 6.
This fun weekend is designed for vintage enthusiasts to assemble in the country, amongst the fields and with the sun shining.
This event is being organized in conjunction with the Thames Lions Club as a fundraising activity for their community projects. Funds will be raised by the public paying at the gate to view the range of vintage and
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classic vehicles/machinery that will be on display, so we encourage your members to be involved.
The Vintage Barn, home of New Zealand’s largest private collection of farm, truck and construction models, as well as Model Barn are both located on site and will be open to the public and exhibitors during this festival.
There are no current plans for any structured activity on the weekend as we want this to be a casual and an informal get together of like-minded enthusiasts where the public can support a local community group as well as see why we love what we do.
If any members or clubs wish to provide a special exhibit such as a parade or working display, please let Jeremy know. There are also limited camping facilities available at the event.
Come for an hour, half a day or the whole weekend, just come along.
Space will be available for individuals/clubs to sell surplus goods and memorabilia, contact Jeremy for details.
To help our planning, an indication of numbers would be appreciated.
For more information please feel free to contact Jeremy on 027 277 1067 or email
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Travelling to the South Island then check out
NZ Classic Motorcycles Museum - Nelson. Located at 75 Haven Road Nelson this is a purpose built museum showcasing one of the largest, comprehensive private collections of classic, veteran and vintage motorcycles and sidecars. It is believed to house one of the largest collections of Brough Superiors south of the equator and for a limited time, is the entrusted curator of the Britten motorcycle. If you are heading that way look them up on their website www.nzclassicmotorcycles.co.nz.
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Rider in Charge (RIC) would appreciate all participants of rides to be at the departure point 10 minutes early with a full tank of gas. If the weather looks suspect then please phone the RIC to see if the ride is postponed or cancelled.
The Rider in Charge will be organizing the day. Contact them for details. All riders participating in a Ulysses Ride are expected to hold a current motorcycle license, wear suitable clothing and to have a registered and warranted road-worthy bike.
The organizers and/or the Ulysses Club are not responsible for participants safety and all participants participate at their own risk.
All participants are aware that they are traveling on open public roads and are responsible for their own safety and compliance with all Rules and Laws.
Please check your runs list as some rides or destinations may have changed from initial calendar entry.
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Club Night Meeting and Social Evening
Held at North Shore Cosmopolitan Club,
65 Paul Mathews Drive, Albany
1st Thursday of the Month.
Meals available from 5.30pm and meeting starts at 7.30pm
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NORTH SHORE DINNER NIGHT MAD DOGS & ENGLISHMEN Link Drive Wairau Park
Every 3rd Wednesday of the month 2014 (6 pm onwards), Bar & kitchen open at 5.30 pm.
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August 30th Sunday
Pahi Beach
Departs BP Dairy Flat Service Centre at 10.00am
Lunch at the cafe and enjoy the views.
RIC: David McAnulty
Mobile: 021 1844100
Home: 09 8109798 |
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September 3rd. It's the 1st Thursday of the month so don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses general meeting night at the North Shore Cosmopolitan Club. Meals available from 5.30pm. Reservations Here
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Pizza Barn Waipu
Departs BP Dairy Flat Service Centre at 10.00am
RIC: Paul Morrison
Mobile: 021 909350
Home: 09 4203247
Medium
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September 13th Every year hundreds of Bikers join together and ride to support Prostate Cancer, it’s guaranteed to be packed with laughter and fun. If you’re a bike enthusiast then this event is for you.
Click here for more details.
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September 16th. It's the 3rd Wednesday of the month so it's North Shore dinner night at Mad Dogs and Englishman, Link Drive. Reservations Here.
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Horse & Jockey Matamata
Departs BP Papakura Service Station at 10.00am
RIC: Rini Van Driel
Mobile: 027 2790864
Home: 09 415 6814
Medium
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October 1st. It's the 1st Thursday of the month so don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses general meeting night at the North Shore Cosmopolitan Club. Meals available from 5.30pm. Reservations Here
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Night at the Copthorne Omapere
Book at Copthorne Hokianga for a Social Night away.
Ulysses Club North Harbour Branch Saturday 3 October 2015
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Note from Marina
This is great you are all making your way through the Hokianga again. We would love to share our paradise with you all for the night of Saturday 3rd October 2015.
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Feel like a break away? Marina the Events Manager from Copthorne Hokianga (Omapere) has a deal just for YOU!
Feels like Fiji with no passport required....
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The rate we are happy to offer is: $159.00 and this includes a full cooked breakfast. The rate is for single/twin or double occupancy, if additional guests are in rooms their rate is $50.00 which includes their brekky as well.
I have a mix of rooms being held so everyone just needs to phone through to our reception/ reservations team say they are with the Ulysses group and they can choose a room being held in the block, first in best room with a view of the harbour.
PH: 09 4058737
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Pink Ribbon Motorcycle Charity Ride
October 11th
Stonefields AMI Netball Stadium to Western Springs Park, Auckland
Assemble 9.30 for 10.30 departure
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Sunday
18th October
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Kauri Museum Matakohe
Departs BP Dairy Flat Service Centre at 10.00am
RIC: Les Duffield
Mobile: 021 720100
Home: 09 8141130
Medium
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October 21st. It's the 3rd Wednesday of the month so it's North Shore dinner night at Mad Dogs and Englishman, Link Drive. Reservations Here.
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October 25th Labour Weekend - No ride
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November 5th. It's the 1st Thursday of the month so don't forget it's the North Harbour Ulysses general meeting night at the North Shore Cosmopolitan Club. Meals available from 5.30pm. Reservations Here
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November
6th, 7th and 8th
Friday to Sunday
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South Taranaki Tourers Weekend
Departs BP Papakura Service Centre
at 10.30am
RIC: Wayne Painter
Mobile: 027 2891018
Excellent weekend away with the South Taranaki Tourers organising a poker run on the Saturday. Let Wayne know if interested so we can book accommodation in Hawera, Taranaki
Long.
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Waihi Sterling Tavern for Lunch
Departs BP Papakura Service Station at 10.00am
RIC: Wayne Larsen
Mobile: 021 02828442
Home: 09 4768071
Medium to Long
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November 18th. It's the 3rd Wednesday of the month so it's North Shore dinner night at Mad Dogs and Englishman, Link Drive. Reservations Here.
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Tairua Ride
Departs BP Papakura Service Station at 10.00am
RIC: Mike Orr
Mobile: 027 2919130
Medium to Long
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Note Change of Date
Coromandel Overnighter
Now 12th DecemberDeparts BP Papakura Service Centre at 10.00am
Phone RIC: Nigel Scott 021 2447724
to make bookings at a great motel.
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Midweek Wednesday Rides and now Tuesday (check out NH Ulysses facebook page for details.)
Are you free to ride Midweek?
Why not join fellow Ulyssians on Wednesday's
Departs NS Cossie Club at 11.00am
Destination decided on the day.
These rides are proving very popular.
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Highlight your calendar with these upcoming rides or events.
Omapere Overnighter
3rd October
Note Change of Date
Coromandel Overnighter
Now 12th December
Details to be confirmed.
Phone RIC: Nigel Scott 021 2447724
to make bookings at a great motel.
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RATES QUOTED FOR:
Ulysses
A discount of 10% off the best available fare applies for travel dates
18 January through to 19 December 2016
Booking conditions and instructions for members are:
Each reservation must be made direct with Interislander online at www.interislander.co.nz
Also check out our Premium Plus onboard lounge upgrades for total comfort at www.interislander.co.nz/Premium-Plus.aspx for 18yrs plus
Simply insert the Promo code “XULY1”on the “Payment details” page then click on “enter” and this will apply the discount.
Membership card is required at the terminal on check in. No membership card and retail fares will be charged.
Space is subject to availability at the time of the booking request.
The normal conditions of the above fare type apply - e.g. Easy Change is 100% refundable if cancelled.
Bookings made through our call centre are at regular rates.
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Would you wear this helmet????
Two guys are sitting at a bar. One guy says to the other, "Do you know that lions have sex 10 or 15 times a night?". The other guy says, "Damn, I just joined the Rotary Club."
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A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"
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A guy walks into a bar after a long day at work and orders a drink. After his first sip, he hears a high-pitched voice.
"Hey mister! Nice pants!" it says.
He looks around, doesn’t see anything, and quickly shrugs it off. After a little bit, he takes another sip and hears the voice again.
“Hey mister! Sweet shoes!”
Again, he looks around, sees nothing but a bartender who is busy attending to other customers. Shaking his head, he sips once more.
“Hey mister! Cool shirt!”
He puts down his drink, frustrated at this phantom voice, and signals to the bartender, who comes over.
“Hey barkeep,” he begins, “what is that high-pitched voice I keep hearing?”
“Oh, those are the peanuts,” he replies. “They’re complimentary.”
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TEST YOUR BRAIN ACTIVITY
SOMEWHERE IN THE PICTURE OF COFFEE BEANS IS A MAN.
SEE IF YOU CAN FIND HIM.
This is bizarre - after you find the guy - it's so obvious. Once you find him - it's embarrassing, and you think, Why didn't I see him immediately?
Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds, your right half of your brain is better developed than most people. If you find the man between 3 seconds and 1 minute, your right half of the brain is developed normally. If you find the man between 1 minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein. If you have not found the man after 3 minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to make that part of the brain stronger!!!
And, yes, the man is really there!!!
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Artery: The study of paintings.
Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria.
Barium: What you do when patients die.
Benign: What you be, after you be eight.
Caesarean Section: A neighbourhood in Rome.
Catscan: Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize: Made eye contact with her.
Colic: A sheep dog.
Coma: A punctuation mark.
Dilate: To live long.
Enema: Not a friend.
Fester: Quicker than someone else.
Fibula: A small lie.
Impotent: Distinguished, well known.
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Labour Pain: Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff: A Doctor's cane.
Morbid: A higher offer.
Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates.
Node: I knew it.
Outpatient: A person who has fainted.
Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative: A letter carrier.
Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery.
Rectum: Nearly killed him.
Secretion: Hiding something.
Seizure: Roman emperor.
Tablet: A small table.
Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport.
Tumour: One plus one more.
Urine: Opposite of you're out.
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THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS.........
One day an old poodle starts chasing butterflies in the African bush and before long,
he discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a
leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of
having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing
some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to
chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as
the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy,
that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more
around here"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a
look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
"Whew!," Says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly
had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a
nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and
trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the
old poodle sees Him heading after the leopard with great speed,
and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up
with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself
with the leopard.The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says,
"Here, Monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to
that conniving Canine!"
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his
back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of
running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers,
pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close
enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that damn monkey? I
sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
Moral of this story...Don't mess with old farts...age and
treachery will always overcome youth and skill!
Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience!
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From the Friends of Irony
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The Baaaaad Biker:
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a
drink. Looking around, he sees 3 men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks at the biggest, meanest one in the face and says, "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is a fine looking woman!"
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker, and would fight at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says, "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!"
The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad, but the biker still says
nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!"
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders and says
"Grandpa, you're drunk....... Go home!"
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A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman find a wizard on the top of a tall cliff. The wizard orders them to jump off the cliff, but he also promises that if they say anything while falling, they will get it at the bottom of the cliff.
So first, the Englishman jumps off the cliff and shouts, "Pillows!" and so he lands on some pillows.
Then the Scotsman jumps off the cliff, and he shouts, "Hay!" and so he lands on some hay.
Finally the Irishman runs to jump off the cliff, but he trips on a rock just before the jump and says, "Aw, crap!"
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Members Free Ads
Space here for Members advert. Please include Your name and membership number.
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Paul #8047 & Niki Morrison #8052
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Paul Gallagher # 3266
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Clive Hawthorn #8617
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Dennis Linton
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Steve Brackenridge New Member
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Ben Becker
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What's the speed of dark?
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Any views or opinions presented in this newsletter are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the North Harbour Ulysses Branch Committee.
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Please add editor's email address to your contacts to avoid your newsletter ending up in spam.
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Ronnie Run Update
