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Years ago I never thought I’d be in the position that I am right now. I spent years trapped in a lifestyle I only knew and created this image that had me believing this life was all we had. 

Years ago I started reading Thomas Merton well I sat in solitary confinement. I wasn’t sure what I wanted and how I was gonna get it but I knew I wanted to give myself and others like me a better life. I wanted to be able to not continue the same mistake that led me to the same places.
I would cry out in agony for a reason,look in the mirror that was scratched with all kinds of taggings from homies names to there neighborhood and see those words fostered in my life image.

No one will ever know exactly what I’ve gone through well I sat in Solitude. The nights I would wake up with anxiety attacks, the nights I would twitch and wake up gasping for air. Staring at walls and counting the bricks and wondering how many homies done the same thing to kill time or being humiliated every time to go to yard by being stripped completely naked and having to go through the complete strip search that can make you feel violated every time.Times my stomach would growl from hunger,weeks of not saying a word but getting lost in my thoughts. All I knew was to keep pushing because I wasn’t gonna lose this fight no not me. 

“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.-Thomas Merton from Thoughts in Solitude” 


 

 

7 years Strong 

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