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Dear Friend,

This week marks 4 years of Chomp & Chat. (I put together an album of all the many screen shots in no particular order.)

Next week brings November and, for many of us, a change of our clocks.

Two weeks ago, I crossed 5,000 coaching hours in a tally that's gotten exponentially faster over time.

This morning, I paused, as I often do, to notice the grey in my hair. I find it both beautiful and baffling; I haven’t dyed my hair since I found the first grey strand amid the nearly-black brown when I as 16 or 17, hoping a premature streak would form any day. As it so happens, though, it took another 25 or so years, only becoming a prominent part of my locks in my 40s.

Time moves in mysterious ways. For many of us, that mystery has deepened in the pandemic era as we wonder where the last two and a half years have gone. It is all too easy, without changes of scenery, milestones, or other wiz-bang indicators, to feel each day as just like the last and just like the next, their indistinguishability from one another acting like garbage compactors.


…when we look closely, we find that each day is its own unique being and happening. When we start tracking moments of delight, we might find that the list only ends with our ability to attend.

For over six years now, I’ve been experimenting with how to change my relationship with time. I’ve been learning to notice it more fully and appreciate its slow-fast pacing in new ways.

I wrote a bit about those experiences and experiments in A Paper Trail of Time.

my favorite time-tracking tools

The calendar I’ve been using since 2018 is The Passion Planner. I picked it specifically for its functionality and didn’t realize until last year the bonuses of it being a company founded by a queer woman of color who originally funded her project on Kickstarter!

My current 5-year journal is a beaut and it comes from JetPens, a company founded by three college friends who started a business for the sole purpose of sticking together as a trio. With lineage in East Asia, they landed on Japanese office supplies as a niche to explore and have, over the years, upgraded from suitcases stuffed while on family vacation to a warehouse with staff and the whole shebang.

For my actual tasks, I use a version of this weekly organizer that I’m perpetually tweaking to meet my specific needs and responsibilities as they evolve. Feel free to use it for inspiration then make it your own

because space and time are a continuum

Time and space are intimately related, inextricably intertwined. My friend Rachel Winstead (who, for one reason or another, I’ve mentioned in my last two emails to you) just sent me this fantastic video that started my day with a huge sense of awe:
Which also brought to mind what I had read a few days before, William Shatner’s reflection on what it felt like to him to actually travel to space after so many decades of both pretending (acting) and imagining the same:

"I had thought that going into space would be the ultimate catharsis of that connection I had been looking for between all living things—that being up there would be the next beautiful step to understanding the harmony of the universe. In the film 'Contact,' when Jodie Foster’s character goes to space and looks out into the heavens, she lets out an astonished whisper, 'They should’ve sent a poet.' I had a different experience, because I discovered that the beauty isn’t out there, it’s down here, with all of us. Leaving that behind made my connection to our tiny planet even more profound."

well I'll be

The anniversary of being attacked is right up there with my birthday and New Year as times when I like to - when I inevitably do - take some time to reflect. I wasn't sure if this zine of a few takeaways would get any traction in my Etsy project but one thing I've learned in these 26 years is that while the details of a trauma can vary wildly, humaning through trauma often has a lot of overlap.

Yesterday, someone ordered one of these for the first time. If you're reading, friend, I hope it brings you comfort and a sense of connection.

I've done much experimenting this year around the ratio of relaxation to activity that leads to fulfilling weekends for me. This weekend, we scrapped most of that as we moved through the blurg of having gotten both our latest covid boosters and flu shots Friday morning.

We watched movies and read books. We did only a minimal amount of cooking. We practiced Spanish on Duolingo and I did a tiny bit of research and writing for a coming zine and talk.

It was time well spent. I hope yours was, too.

With love and gratitude for all you are,

p.s. Scroll all the way down for a TED Talk that's all about using our time - and, more specifically, our decisions - to shape the stories of our lives.

p.p.s. These emails are a labor of love for me - emphasis on both labor and love. If you find value in today's email, please share the love. It might just inspire someone else and it for sure gives me the warm-fuzzies.


Your community,
co-created conversation,
and a whole lot of laughter, authenticity, and breath.

Chomp & Chat every Wednesday!
Join our 4Q
Bigger Badder Book Club Gathering!

"It is rare for a work on a subject so fraught with interpretation and misinterpretation to be both funny and accessible, beautiful and conversational, but Goldstein's Money hits the bullseye in every respect. It made me look at my wallet and its musty contents with fresh eyes. A must-read."—Gary Shteyngart, New York Times bestselling author

Saturday, December 10 | 11am ET/8am PT
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Just about every day, I have the honor to support people as they turn toward themselves...

...their own values and ethics
...their own opportunities and challenges
...their own solutions and ways toward their own unique definition of a Life Well Lived

If you're curious about what might become possible for you if you could get out of your own way and into your own guidance, email me.
Like, now.
When my friend Nadja sent this to me, I thought, yeah, okay, kinda compelling. And then I couldn't stop thinking about the way Ruth Chang's perspective could help us diminish the agony of decision making and embrace this way of making the most of our time.
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