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Dear Friend,

Years ago, a friend gave me a deck of Osho Zen Tarot cards. They’re a little biting at times, even a little sarcastic here and there, and Theresa and I have long loved to pull them out to stir our curiosity at times like birthdays and New Years.

Yesterday, we pulled them out to mark our first wedding anniversary. In a little four card  spread, the first represented what Theresa brings to our relationship, the second was what I bring. The third card represented our combined energies and the last was the insight, the big takeaway.

Theresa’s card reminded me of a day that I looked out of my office window only to see her standing in the middle of the bridge she and a friend built across the creek in our backyard. She was staring up and when I asked what she was doing, she said she was listening to the bird song and watching how the light was filtering through the trees. Grounded, present, finding the sacredness in the everyday features of life. That’s Theresa for you.

My card also felt spot-on for me but in a far less idyllic way. The figure on my card is wound in chains and looks pained. The ground to either side is cracking open as an eruption threatens. The card is a call to authentic expression to tamp down the risk of explosion.

That’s me, I thought. Edgy to Theresa’s calm acceptance.

A while later, during some wandering shower thoughts, I saw another perspective of the card. Inside of me is a sometimes tumultuous driver of curiosity that has always been a part of me. As a teen, I would tell people I was the reincarnation of the cat that curiosity killed. I’m not sure what I meant by that back then but it feels very out-of-the-mouths-of-babes to me from this mid-life perspective.

It’s that innate curiosity that fuels my coaching and acts as the full-length mirror to my clients’ emotional and cognitive selves.

It’s that innate curiosity that leads to, yes, sometimes uncomfortable conversations with Theresa… and also understanding of who we each are as we continue to evolve as individuals, as we continue to find new depth in our connection.

As I find is often true when I help a client explore a quality they find challenging within themselves, there is a frequency at which this pressure inside of me is problematic, and a frequency at which it is one of my uniquely useful and gratitude-evoking traits.

Curiosity, after all, is the antidote to assumption, to complacency, to the unexamined life.

A bit more on that in my post, A Little Sugar in our Wedding Anniversary: Thoughts on Curiosity from One Year In.

from the archives

The Delta variant was going strong when we finally decided to stop postponing our wedding and instead shrink it. The inherent imperfection of this wedding foundation was such a relief.

Then we honeymooned! The specific purpose of that trip – not just a vacation, a honeymoon – helped me shift focus away from my usual travel antsiness and toward presence. Deep, lovely presence.

Rachel Winstead interviewed me about curiosity last year for their podcast Creative Doula Sessions. A friend was listening to the episodes recently and inspired me to return, too. It’s amazing what a great question can reveal tucked away in our innards. (That’s a big part of the premise of coaching, too!)

Rachel broke our conversations into three episodes. Listen here:
one (8:30)
two (31:04)
three (10:47)

Years ago, I made Theresa a little deck of open-ended questions that we review on roadtrips once a year, give or take. I meant them to stir curiosity between us, both around the topics that can be hard to speak and the ones that can be so mundane as to be hard to remember to address. I made a zine version of this that’s tiny so as to fit in a wallet or other easy-carry space.
My long-time friend, the talented photographer (products, yes, and profile pictures, events, and more) Charlie Whitescarver not only ordered a zine from me but took this beautiful photo that he then posted on LinkedIn.

Thank you yet again, Charlie, for all these years of friendship and support!

Years ago, a friend who is a poet sent me a text that sparked annoyance in me. It was convoluted and I couldn’t figure out what she was trying to say. I started telling myself a story about poets having to say everything metaphorically and then I read the text again and realized she was referencing a band name and suddenly it all made sense. There was nothing convoluted about it at all.

May your week give you gentle nudges toward curiosity, too, ideally before you send the annoyed response text…

With love and gratitude for all you are,

p.s. Scroll all the way down for another not-obvious twist. What might a travel writer see, that is, if she swore off flying?

p.p.s. These emails are a labor of love for me - emphasis on both labor and love. If you find value in today's email, please share the love. It might just inspire someone else and it for sure gives me the warm-fuzzies.


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