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July 2014 Newsletter
Kim Friesen - Mogillow Arts

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Welcome to the July 2014 edition of my newsletter. I am humbled by those of you who have subscribed and by all of you who have taken the time to read it.

My journey invigorates me. I never thought a year ago that I would have a website of my own; let alone a newsletter! Iron clad proof that if you believe in something and work hard, you can conquer and achieve your goals! The fruition of dreams is a sweet taste that I devour ;) 

As most of you know, I love to write. It's not only cathartic, but also inspires and fulfills me. To know people actually read what I write is an incredible feeling. Private messages I receive from some of you about your shared emotions makes my heart sing! Messages and comments that I receive on my website and on social media validate and remind me that this is my path - to help others by sharing my own experience, so they can move forward in their own. It's like I said in some of the remaining lines in my article, A Brush of the Stroke,"try bending down closer, and come into our worlds and just listen. Amongst the gibberish, there is the wonderful sound of laughter. Amongst the pain, there is the wonderful blessing of love. And amongst me, there is the wonderful you reflected back to you in my eyes. . ." Remember that tomorrow is never guaranteed. Today, you may be cresting a hill, but tomorrow you may be in a valley. Hold tight to those you love and let go of those who aim to hurt/inhibit you. Remember to always remain open, so you can learn and grow. We are all human and beautifully imperfect. We are all a gift to each other.

I allow you inside my head by writing and sharing my words as my gift to you! I do not fear myself or my life's experiences. It is my genuine hope that you too are busy working on something using your inner gift like me. If not, get started. Let it shine for the world to see! We're all waiting to celebrate with you :)

If you are new to my website and/or newsletter, greetings!

In Gratitude,

Kim
POEM OF THE MONTH
This poem I wrote in the last few days. It's raw, may need work in your mind, but every time I try, it won't let me change it. It's like my computer has a mind of its own. This is a challenge to show me and you that sometimes enough is enough. Sometimes you just have to let it fly . . .

I The Voyeur
 
The baby’s chubby, pink fingered hand
Extends upward
Grabs onto the bright silver chain that dangles
Off the ruddy neck of his Daddy
Both faces are lit up like Christmas trees
Both their eyes sparkle
Baby's toothless grin spreads wide and full
As Daddy drops love filled kisses
Across his baby's delicious, plump cheeks
Momma’s brown eyes shine back at Daddy
From his baby’s face
And he is ever thankful

I the voyeur feel my insides quell
I can't help but stare . . .

Momma’s sits in the kitchen 
Holds her breath
A stifled cry
She stares straight ahead at the stack of mail
To where her husband's orders lay
Her soldier's been requested
She doesn't want to let her husband go

She can’t express a word right now
As an ache in her hearts overtakes
Slow tears begin to trickle
The sound of laughter from the room next door
Ironic
To the emotions that she feels 

Daddy hears his wife's soft whimpers
Holds his baby to his chest, solid
Takes this last second to pretend
That no one else needs him
Breathes in deep and seals his child's scent
Into every cell of his body
While his baby giggles with no comprehension

Hopes are dashed
The white picket fence grayed
Dreams are squashed
Echoes of memories 
Will replace this scene tomorrow
As the large flag in the front yard blows 
In no permanent direction

I the voyeur feel my insides quell
I can't help but stare . . .

Speed forward a few months
Where somewhere in another country
Beside a landmine
Daddy's dog tags lay
The glint of the silver chain is no longer present
Just a heap of a body remains
Once a man, once a daddy, once a husband
Trodden
A single boot turned on its side
And a few yards away
Beside a gun
Unfired
Lays the helmet still intact
The face, unrecognizable
Another voice has been silenced 

I the voyeur feel my insides quell
I wish I could've saved him . . .

At home the mood is festive 
Until the precision of the knock
Two large soldiers encompass the door well
Sharp and non-emotional
Their visit is one that no wants
Momma's hand now on the door
Legs give way
And she collapses
As the torsion in her heart strangles
She cannot breath, she cannot speak
Her body shakes
A wife she is no longer

Infernal descent
A cloudless sky
Dark and disheartened
A child's bike
Lies on the ground
The squeak of the wheel as it turns
Deafens

A wife's sorrow
A child's innocence
A flag now flies at half-mast
Shattered hearts
Shattered dreams
Shattered pictures lay on the floor
With faces that continue to smile

I the voyeur feel my insides quell
I can't help but stare . . .
 
"Baby, you’ll know soon enough"
Momma whispers into her baby’s ear
Her eyes turned inward
Her soul’s on fire
She hugs him even tighter
A life sparse in pureness
Daddy left with no last goodbye
Soon the questions will haunt them

I the voyeur feel my insides quell
I can't help but stare . . .

A funeral procession
A flag draped across the casket
The scrunch of Momma's eyebrows 
Dressed in black
Head to toe
A hat and veil to hide her
Her teeth are clenched
As a guttural moan escapes
She tries to hold it back
But it takes on a life of its own
Her emotions rob her of wisdom
She shudders though she is not cold
Like a fish
She feels gutted
People stare
Shake their heads
Her face is pale
Her smile is pasted
Her eyes are distant
No doubt lost in another time
She needs to escape what she couldn’t foresee
How can she live without him?

I the voyeur feel my insides quell
I can't help but stare. . .

Fast forward now, a few months more
A cesspool of madness
Enclaves
The flag that was flying is now in shreds
A shell of her former self
Momma's shadows of strife defines her
The stench of their house
Unmade beds
Red rimmed eyelids
Emotions run rampant
Like the glasses and dishes that lay discarded
She stares ahead
As her baby’s fingers on his perfect hand
Plump and pink
Reach upward

I the voyeur feel my insides quell
I can't help but stare . . .

Soon days are years
Yet the song of sorrow still sings, destructive 
Despite its staleness
The wreckage of love
Branded on Momma's heart
Leaves questions for her baby boy
Now a child

Lines have emerged on Momma's face
Too early, she is haggard
Filled with misery touched by torment
Projections of that horrid day
Are constant

Trapped is how her baby child feels 
Inside he boils in anger

I the voyeur feel my insides quell
I can't help but stare . . .

The baby child grows fast and strong
A teenager he becomes
Piercings and tattoos of destruction
Cuts on wrists
Posters of pure hatred that decorate his wall
The crucifixion of his life has flourished

I the voyeur feel my insides quell
I can't help but stare . . .

Seasons change and that day arrives
That Momma has long since dreaded
Realization and vocalization
From her child caught in hell
Daddy doesn’t live here
Why did he fight a war
That left a war within his family's heart
Forever?

Her child stares bewildered
Asks questions she can’t answer

I the voyeur feel my insides quell
I can't help but stare . . .

Years they pass
Time can't stand still
Momma's little child now a man
Reaches for his Momma's hand
As her feeble arms reach out to squeeze
What little strength she musters
He looks at her
And shakes his head
His voice surrounds like velvet
Promises he'll stay with her
That he will not desert her

In the silence
Deep into the night
They talk and cry and listen
The faded picture
Of her one true love
Momma pulls from her chest
Her baby boy stares wounded
Blindsided
Ancient tears
So
Long
Buried
Like a tap he drips

He never thought he'd still feel the love
For someone long since departed
So Momma's boy
Does what he's yearned to do
And let's his arm surround her
He holds her tight
Won't let her go
He is her world
She is his too
They promise each other
Protection

I the voyeur feel my insides quell
I can't help but stare . . .

So fast forward now 
To one fine day
When Momma's little boy comes to say
I'm now a dad
And from this you'll see
That from my little girl's eyes
Daddy stares at me

I the voyeur feel my insides quell
I can't help but stare . . .

© Kim Friesen
 
QUOTE OF THE MONTH
"If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse."

Uknown
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT

This month is dedicated to motherhood. Why this month you ask. Well, July is the month that a light entered my life that shines brightly; an unmitigated life that forever makes me grateful. I am very fortunate to have him. He is everything I could ever have dreamed possible and more. He lifts me out of sadness or grumpiness in an instant.  He makes me laugh until I cry; cry until I laugh. He is the inspiration that led me to the creation of my website and to me sending you this newsletter. He breathes life into every word that I write. Without him beside me, I would not be the happy successful person I am today. I would be different. I would probably owe a lot less on my mortgage, sure. I would still be happy, yes. Successful, most definitely, but I would not have the unconditional love that only he brings me. No matter what he does to me, what he says, how he acts, I will always be beside him. The moment I found out that I was pregnant, I was giddy as a new sense of responsibility overtook me. I am his Momma. He is my light; the window into my soul. Happy Birthday Kaian to the moon and back again a trillion billion times and more.  You will always hold the hugest and most sacred piece of my heart.

Love Momma xoxo

I have always been a late bloomer in life. So, it's no surprise I became pregnant at 40. If you haven't yet checked out my article on my website, Forty and Pregnant, I'd be honored if you read it. Please share it with your friends!

MY FITNESS CORNER
This year, I've worked hard to incorporate fitness into my life. I've set up some simple goals and some more difficult ones too. The one that I'm excited to take part in now after being the Wholly Fit Challenger from May 21st to June 21st and conquering the Kusam Klimb, is this year's Tough Mudder in Seattle in September. I'm up to the challenge and fired up to become part of this elite group of people who aspire to be something more for themselves - to push themselves beyond their limits. A few of us from my fitness group, Wholly Fit, are gearing up to conquer this feat. For some it's our first time, but we are fortunate to have our fearless repeat offenders, as well as our beautifully gifted leader, Jenn. They reassure us how elated we are going to feel as we cross the finish line. I know this will change me - in a good way - and I embrace this.

I am proud to say that this month I've reduced the medication I take for nerve pain as a result of my brain surgeries in half!  Regular workouts with Wholly Fit are keeping from needing more pills at bay. I have been tailoring my regular workouts to adjust to these changes as it's a real goal of mine to get through this adjustment period.

I'm also proud to say that a few Saturdays back, at Event Training, I did 5 pull ups from standing position up and back down again on the kid's playground and a 47 minute arm hang too.   This past Saturday, I played on the monkey bars at my son's school and made it back and forth six times! It may sound simple, but holding your body weight up is tough regardless of how you do it!

The journey of building myself back up from physical rubble has delivered nothing but satisfaction! I have triumphed, lost my med belly gain weight, I'm healthy, getting more powerful each day. Not a bad feeling at all for a person whose nerve pain made nightly massages from husband last year an absolute must - by days end my shoulder would be aching. I'm stronger, more empowered and my balance is improving (for that I'm elated). Sure I've lost weight, BUT the most important thing to me are those tiny muscles that are popping up. I will be able to take on my brothers, who regularly beat me up as a child - mean hey ;), very soon, lol!  I also find that getting healthy physically has the reward of getting healthy emotionally attached to it.  I feel good on the outside and it makes my emotions shine too, I like it that way.  It's very freeing :)

So, what have you done lately to improve yourself physically? Please keep doing it! The payoff is so worth it - even just a few stairs or steps further each day :) Grab your kids or grandchildren and get out and do something physical, inside or out.  This last Thursday at boot camp we had arm wrestling and I held my own. Games are exercise too!

Remember that no matter your age, always focus on success and fitness. Turn off the inner "bad" voice, don't listen to the naysayers, ignore the looks of the younger people who give you the look in their eyes as though to say, "Why the heck are you going to a fitness class, you're too old!" And just do it! You will succeed.  Your measure of success will never reach anyone else's goals or dreams. That's because it's unique to you.

RECIPE WORTH SHARING!

For all my pork eating friends, I found you a clean eating barbeque rosemary pork recipe, sure to impress!

(Makes 3 servings)

Ingredients:

1 package with 3 pork chops in it.
6 Springs of fresh rosemary
2 tablespoons olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

Unwrap the pork. I like to rinse mine off a bit, but that’s a personal choice. You don’t have to.

Prepare your rosemary. Simply run your fingers backwards over the tough stems to remove the leaf from the twig.
 
Put everything in a Ziploc bag and “moosh” it around to get the pork covered in oil and rosemary. Allow to sit in the fridge for at least 30 minutes.

Toss those puppies on the grill until done. A meat thermometer should read 170 degrees F. when done.

Bon Appetit!


Are you looking for a boot camp to "be the best version of yourself" and live in Victoria, BC? If so, check out Wholly Fit's website at http://whollyfitvictoria.com/ and sign up. There are special summer deals on now, so act fast so you can take advantage of the savings!

COMING SOON
Well I just got another dog - yay puppy breath! - a good reason why this newsletter is being delivered later.  I have no idea what next month's focus will be. Perhaps, just lots of pictures of puppy play, kidding! I promise I won't take the month off, but I still have to ruminate on what exactly I am going to share with you. I'm sure it will be interesting and worth the read. Sometimes the best things I write are born at the last minute, so stay tuned!

In the interim, if you are lazing around, like we are, check out my eBooks, Little Willow and Angelina Beaglina Saves Summer. Sure they're children's chapter eBooks, but like I said on my Facebook site for Kim Friesen - Mogillow Arts, the readability is for anyone from ages 7 to 99 and beyond! I'm honored to have had a Youth and Family Counselor read Little Willow and I include their kind comment from Kim Friesen - Mogillow Arts because I am so touched by their words:

"Loved Little Willow! A sweet read for children whose parents may be contemplating separation or divorce or are just having a hard time. Little Willow provides empowering ways for children to deal with family disputes. The author reminds children that it is important to express feelings and to talk to someone they trust – whether an animal, a trusted adult or a counselor and, most importantly, she reminds children that they are not responsible for what is happening at home. Well done, Kim Friesen!

Corrina Craig, RSW, M.Ed
Youth and Family Counselor"


Like I've said before, adults who read my book enjoy them as they're not just a "kid's read". So, make sure you check them out at on my website, Kim Friesen - Mogillow Arts. Remember too that there's free for the reading articles there that I've written! Please enjoy! If my friend has her way, I will soon write a novel specifically designed for adults too after I get the eBook on my stroke finished. I have a working title, so the seed has been planted!

If you haven't yet signed up for my newsletter, go to  Kim Friesen - Mogillow Arts and subscribe. You only need to put your name and an email address (which I promise will never be shared).

Until next month,

Kim 
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Kim Friesen - Mogillow Arts
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