VOLUME 29, 6 MAY 2016
We witnessed the rise of the AUFC's own version of Popeye last week (no someone didn't swim across the Torrens). Sam 'the pig' Penniment, weighed down by a few sub-par game-day performances went on an exploratory journey post Henley match. After failing to find the reason behind his diminishing efficacy at the Havelock, Super California and a number of other popular Saturday Night hunting grounds for the pig, it finally came to him - in what only could be described as an ethanol fueled epiphany on the Woolshed dance floor at 4am, the pig found the truth behind his talent. In a pattern that could only be found staring into the hallucinogenic strobes of the woolshed, Sam found that his footballing ability was causally linked to his antagonistic behavior throughout the week.
 

 
Then and there penniment embraced his inner pig, and no one would be off limits, all lines would be crossed, lives would be ruined. Needless to say the week was filled with his pest-like antagonism, age-old pictures and facebook statuses were given new life, with the deadly penniment 'like' bringing them once again into the news feed. Gorging himself in a trough of hurt feelings, with each malicious act the pig felt his footballing talent grow. Come Saturday, penniment proved his theory correct,  having his best match for the year, leaving a pile of ruined lives in his wake and somehow still not making the best players. 

Another absolute antagonist is Rocky Austin, who hosted HYB with a sterling performance for all witnessing the glory that it was, besides the two designated continuous sippers (first year B@stards players). Put quite simply if you can't hold down three schooners of beer, uncle Rocky will find you.

Bowlies is later this week, starting at 8:30 upstairs at the Havelock, this weeks show is set to be as good as the last.

Snippets of Grey

Greetings folks, a fair few snippets today:
  • LONG LUNCH next Friday. Numbers have hit 108 today (close to capacity), which is terrific and ensures another cracking afternoon. If you want to come along you need to RSVP to Bridgy (sam.bridgwood@macquarie.com or 0414 488 282) or Pay by Monday at the latest. For those that have RSVPd but not yet paid we would appreciate payment before the day if possible, although you can pay via card or cash on the day if you must. We accept cash on the day now due to Rulebooks sobriety ensuring that at least one person can responsibly handle the cash. Payment details below to refresh:
               Adelaide University FC 
               BSB: 015-010
               Account: 403 410 418     
               Reference: “Your surname” Lunch
  • Next week is Volunteers week and to thank our magnificent volunteers there will be complimentary nibbles and drinks on offer in the Long Room after the Long Lunch, as hosted by Janne and the Pres. All welcome so please get along from 4:30pm.
  • During the week the Honour Board was updated for the first time this decade, so we'd encourage you to pop down and have a look this weekend if you get the chance. We still managed to spell Legrand(e) wrong for the 9th time and not quite sure who this Damian Cunnighan is, but aside from that it's come up a treat. You'll note if you look at it that we run out of space after 2017, so a bit of thinking required as to how to play it after that. As per normal when thinking is required, we will establish a sub-committee that will probably forget to meet until 2018.
  • Congrats to "name withheld cos he has some Henley mates" for the winning (and so far only) nomination to pick the new nickname for the Henley Football Club. The Henley Sharts @ Shart Park (or Sharknado Park) they are to be known as henceforth. Simple yet effective. I like it.
  • At 9am sharp on Sat May 14th at Uni Oval we are having a huge Fathers & Sons/Daughters photo shoot. There are an enormous number of current players whose Father played for the club so if you are in that boat please get along for the shoot. Craggy and Harmsy feel free to attend after last weeks look-a-like.
And that leads us into the Calendar of Events for Old Blacks:
  • Friday May 13 - Long Lunch
  • Saturday May 14 and Sunday May 15 - 1986 A1 Reunion Weekend
  • Saturday May 28 - 1996 A1 Reunion Day at Uni Oval
  • Saturday June 4 - Ladies Day
  • Saturday June 25 - 2006 Scum Reunion
As Chocka used to say, the only thing better than the Scum finishing last is the Scum losing in a heartbreaking grand final, which is exactly what Dima and all Scum will be celebrating on June 25. Dima has extended by a couple of years either side so this promises to be a big show. Lets hope Bugsy's elbow has recovered well enough to do another jug skoll for old times sake.

I'll leave you with another great instalment of the 1986 season, once again featuring the great man Boz and the commencement of the Random Boz Visit.
http://www.footyalmanac.com.au/1986-a-year-with-the-blacks-round-4-im-not-home-boz/

Look forward to a big crowd at Bob Neil 1 tomorrow as we take on impressive Payneham Enough?

Hold Your Bowlies


With the our two SAWFL teams playing late Saturday evening, HYB has been delayed for an 8:30pm start this saturday night. With HYB being later this week you have time to go home and wax your hair into a glistening faux hawk of chemical attraction* like 2014 Jack Grieger.
 
*results attracting anyone may vary.
 

Bowlies - 8:30pm start - Upstairs at the Havelock

Job Opportunity


A great opportunity has arisen for an experienced Analyst (2 to 3 years’ accounting experience) or Senior Analyst (3 to 4 years’ accounting experience) at Ferrier Hodgson in Adelaide.
http://www.ferrierhodgson.com/lib/img/global/print-logo.png
 
The majority of the corporate recovery work undertaken by Ferrier Hodgson is secured work and in many instances involves high profile jobs with a national or international presence.
 
Blacks players who still work at Ferrier Hodgson include Ryan Eagle, Ned Swifte, Sam Pittman, Monty Swift and Will Brown (I use the term “player” very loosely).
 
Please contact Ned Swifte on 0405-764-447 or at ned.swifte@fh.com.au to express any interest. More information in relation to the role can be found at the following link https://fsr.cvmail.com.au/ferrier/main.cfm?page=jobSpecific&jobId=78344&rcd=204363&queryString

Entertainment Book

 
This year the Mighty Blacks will be fundraising with the Entertainment Book. The books are $65 each ($13 of this goes towards the club/team as a fundraising component).
 
Each team has a designated fundraising site (refer to links below). Share with your friends, family, neighbours, work colleagues, drinking buddys and tinder (or grinder – we don’t judge) dates. Funds raised go directly to the team/Club.
 
Bob Neil has used his scientific calculator that he only needs to sell 4 books to get a carton of South Australia’s finest and a bottle of Green Ginger Wine!
 
Last year the Chards raised over $300 selling the book, which was donated to Dirty.
 
For those of you that don’t know the book it is filled with plenty of 2-4-1 deals and 25% off vouchers for clubs and bars across Adelaide. With places like The Havey, The British, The Kentish, Zambrero and Burger Foundary you’ll be sure to make you money back.
 
Here is a Flick Book that you can look through so you can see all the vouchers: https://issuu.com/epaau/docs/adelaide_2016-2017?e=16038615/33205593
 
These are the teams and club link below, you need to click on the team/club link dependant on who you want to support. It’s definitely worth sharing these payment pages:
 
Adelaide University Football Club: http://www.entbook.com.au/9294r35
A & B Grade: http://www.entbook.com.au/92z8709
C & D Grade: http://www.entbook.com.au/9294w34
Chardonnay Socialists: http://www.entbook.com.au/927j028
The B@stards: http://www.entbook.com.au/9x29437
The Scum: http://www.entbook.com.au/927j028
Girl Guides: http://www.entbook.com.au/92p8943
 
If you want a book they can be brought to training or delivery can be organised to a home or office. If you buy digital it is uploaded onto your phone and is able to use immediately, it’s definitely the way to go.
 
Any queries, please see contact Chardonnay Socialist, Anthony ‘Drop Bear’ Vallelonga on 0403 583 735.

Match Report of the week

Courtesy of the C-Men


It took a fancy dress theme focusing on a fashion faux pas and a post-match lucky dip to get the Sexy Pimps CMen firing on all cylinders against the Ugley Mercedes Jets. 

Suit jackets and 'sneans' were ordained as the official off-field attire for the day, which was embraced with remarkable enthusiasm as the Pimp and his charges converged on Bob Neil #1. 

True to recent form, the CMen handed the opposition the obligatory two goal head start before kicking into gear and from that point onwards it was a solid and well drilled Blacks outfit that kept their noses in front of the Ugley Mercedes until stumps were drawn. Had the CMen kicked 12.3 rather than 3.12 in total in the first and last quarters those noses probably would have allowed the CMen to smoke in the shower. 

The second half began with confusion when the Ugley Mercedes appeared to have an extra man on the field. After a quick scan across the oval and a check of how many players were on each teams interchange bench, a red-faced Jimmy 'Calder Cannons' Calder appeared from the race. It was later established that Calds had called upon the training staff for a mid-game rubdown and found himself in such a state of Zen that he lost the ability to sense his team mates departing the change rooms or even the sound of the siren to mark the commencement of the third quarter, well done Calds on an early nomination for the JT Goose award. 

The post-match celebrations included a lucky dip into the esky which was earlier populated with a selection of weird and wonderful brews. Some were lucky enough to secure a wanky, overpriced craft beer while others were left underwhelmed with a XXXX Gold or a longneck of VB. 

Better players on the day included newcomers Swooper, Pepper Mintz and Jumpin' Jack McGowan, while a couple of more seasoned campaigners in Tom 'The Pest' Milton (aka Two Bucks, aka Windmills, aka Miltons Moments), the Yugoslavian Hangman and The Foss also performed well. Jumpin Jack and Dole and Work Dont Mix were the major goal kickers with 3 and 2 respectively.

The C-Men 8.14.62 defeated Ugley Mercedes 6.4.40

Lookalikes

Grieger has been trying out a new hairstyle which somehow requires more wax than the faux hawk from days gone past. In doing so, he has exposed himself as the one and only ABC kids Lockie Leonard, guiding kids through the perils of puberty.

  

It turns out Will Ferrell may have made a trip to Australia in the 1980s.

  

Results

Not even a couple of comprehensive victories by the GGs on Sunday, including one pants down for the Wharfies, could prevent a 3 wins, 1 draw, 4 loss FAIL for the Blacks last weekend. Maybe good enough to get a Supp so it's time for the BlackMEN to stand up this weekend and right this ledger. If the A grade could perhaps kick between the big white sticks instead of the little ones that might help. Good Scum and the C-Mens first victory of the season the highlights of an otherwise bleak Saturday.
 

Men

Div 1 (Black Jack & the Showgirls) 8.21.69 defeated by Ugley Mercedes 16.7.103
Goal Kickers: S. Paynter 3, B. Simpson, J. Willis, D. Robinson, N. Langridge, W. Paynter
Best Players: W. Paynter, S. Paynter, D. Bateman, A. Alesci, J. Willis
 
Div 1R (Super Gav and the Budgie Smugglers) 7.6.48 defeated by Ugley Mercedes 9.6.60
Goal Kickers: A. Offe 4, E. Hewish 2, K. Green
Best Players: K. Green, H. Biggs, S. Pittman, J. Dearing, A. Offe, S. Harms
 
Div 7 (Sexy Pimp and his C-Men) 8.14.62 defeated Ugley Mercedes 6.4.40
Goal Kickers: J. McGowan 3, P. Dolan 2, D. Polkinghorne, D. Trezise, A. Ireland
Best Players: T. Milton, D. McIntosh, C. Mintz, J. McGowan, J. Cmrlec, J. Hill
 
Div 7R (Robert Reid and The Brady Bunch) 7.10.52 drew with Ugley Mercedes 7.10.52
Goal Kickers: T. Carr 2, R. Laidlaw 2, T. Ambrose, T. Bowles, E. Dart
Best Players: T. Bowles, J. Kimber, C. Ramsey, T. Ambrose, M. Veprek, G. Kearsley
 
Div C1 (The Chardonnay Socialists) BYE
 
Div C3 (The B*stards) 4.4.28 defeated by Very Old Ignations 6.9.45
Goal Kickers: -
Best Players: -
 
Div C5 (The Scum) 3.3.21 defeated by Very Old Ignations 9.1.64
Goal Kickers: S. Ciccarello, H. Rusby, S. Philpot
Best Players: R. Malinauskas, P. Hyde, S. Lawrence, T. Baker, J. Richards, L. McDonald
 

Women

Open Women’s Div 1 (The Postie and Her Dead Letter Office Raiders) 8.8.56 defeated The Wharfies 2.1.13
Goal Kickers: K. Barltrop 5, S. Richardson 2, K. Harvey
Best Players: -
 
Open Women’s Div 2 (Hollywood and His Rising Stars) 7.16.58 defeated The Wharfies 0.0.0
Goal Kickers: L. Mauceri 2, B. Corver, G. Mills, T. Lee
Best Players: Z. Anthony, E. O''Dea, T. Lee, E. Alexander, J. Dickie, S. Holliday
 

Fixture

 

Men's

 

Saturday 7th May


Black Jack & the Showgirls (Div 1) v Payneham Goons @ Neil #1 (University Oval) 2.15pm

Super Gav and the Budgie Smugglers (Div 1R) v Payneham Goons @ Neil #1 (University Oval) 12.15pm

Sexy Pimp and the C-Men (Div 7) v St Paul @ The Cathedral (St Pauls College) 2.15pm

Robert Reid & The Brady Bunch (Div 7R) v St Paul @ The Cathedral (St Pauls College) 12.15pm

The Chardonnay Socialists (C1) v Sacred Fart @ Bob Neil #1 (10.15am)

The B*stards (C3) v North Haven for Hidiots @ Bob Neil #2 (Park 10) 2.15pm
 
The Scum (C5) v North Haven for Hidiots @ Bob Neil #2 (Park 10) 12.15pm
 
Teams are now listed at www.bobneil.com
 

Women's


Saturday 7th May


The Postie and Her Dead Letter Office Raiders (Open Women’s Div 1) v Smallsbury @ Tiny Town (Salisbury Oval) 5pm
 
Hollywood and His Rising Stars (Open Women’s Div 2) v Gays Are Great @ Mardi Gras Oval (Gaza Oval) 6pm

Player Sponsors Wanted


It's that time of year again and a few kids are still in search of a player sponsor.

If you can help out and keep an A/B grader clothed for his matches and insured if he gets injured, please contact Will 'Do the Evolution Baby' Evans at williammgevans@gmail.com

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2016 A/B Grade Guernsey Numbers


The A and B grade playing list (with Guernsey Numbers) is available here for those who have requested player numbers when attending games. There are a number of players moving in and out of these teams but we have done our best to cover most players. However, we do apologise if this is not all encompassing of the potential Div 1 playing squad.

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