VOLUME 41, 5 AUGUST 2016
Welcome to your weekly wrap up of all things AUFC.

Now that uni holidays are well and truly over the mighty Blacks are back in full swing...with a disappointing 4 wins out of 9 matches. To be fair, the 3 matches played at Bob Neil 2 were more reminiscent of late-night mud wrestling but still...let's just blame this round on the back-to-uni- parties. There's always an excuse and if that excuse involves heavy drinking then it's slightly more acceptable.

The boys from Salisbury found that the ice epidemic is not confined to their home suburb as they succumbed to the Chards on a boggy Bob Neil 2. Normally there would have been a triple header at #1 but the powers-that-be decided that the senior grades can't lose AND be muddy so the poor B@stards were dealt a Scummy hand with 3 games being played on the long-suffering BN2. 

It's not all doom and gloom for the senior squads though - the B@stards (aka the New Scum) made everyone feel better about their losses by managing only 1.1 against Mudbury, playing the 3rd game of the day on an oval that looked like it had just endured a fresh German artillery attack. Seriously, I think Mudbury got the first clearance after half-time and the ball disappeared in the mud and never left their forward line.

The Communists had an upsetting win over the C-Men with each of the Communist players getting equal possessions and equal votes. Luckily the Brady Bunch were there to snag a victory for the bright beacon of capitalism and ensure that the University Cold War is prolonged for at least another year.

The Scum proved yet again to be a deplorable, despicable team by scraping over the line against Mudbury by 4 points. The More Politically Agreeable Malinauskas was the star of the show, booting all 5 goals for the Scum, whilst Wolverine was dragged from his eternal hibernation and somehow managed to get in the votes at the ripe old age of 71.

The Office Raiders continued their path to glory with a win against Not-So-Green Acres however the Rising Stars fell a bit with a loss to the Beach Bums.

This week sees the A+B Grade tackle the Tee Hees at Tee Hee Gully where they will be entertained by the comedy stylings of ex-Blacker and overall dangerous degenerate, the Heinlich Maneuver who unceremoniously ended his AUFC affiliation one fine Super Sunday at the Havey.

The Pimp and Kenny Everett have hosting duties at BN1 this week with a double header against North Pines for a Win whilst the lower grades are like Harry Jamieson the Monday after Stereosonic - scattered and in dire need of a win. The Chards play the Raggies in an early game at the Op Shop, the B@stards play the Glamours at Glamourous Oval whilst the Scum have what should be a stroll in the park against the Loser-uns in the South Parklands.

If the C-Men don't impress you on Saturday then come back on Sunday for an all-female double header. I know that sounds dirty, and it will be! The Long Room will be open for business with $4 beers and hot pies, plus 2 cracking games of footy. Did I mention that the Office Raiders and the Rising Stars are looking the most likely to take home some silverware in 2016? Get out and support them!!

Looking forward to another great weekend of footy,

Go Blacks


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Rob Mally’s 100th

A lot of people would be happy in life having a good job, as well as being tall, dark and average looking. But when your older brother pretty much runs the State and your mates would rather talk to your older sister, you still need something. For Rob “the trembler” Malinauskas, the mighty AUFC was the answer!
In mid-2009, a fresh faced trembler strolled out for his first game in the black and white V to make a name for himself. He did it pretty convincingly - leading through the game’s opening contest with his hard Lithuanian forehead, he managed to lay out the Green Machine with a fractured cheekbone and eye socket…
With a newly formed taste for blood, the trembler committed all his efforts to the Scum.
In the years and 98 games that followed, he has evolved into an arms everywhere full back, working tirelessly as the base of the spine in the AUFC’s last XVIII – where he has won a flag and is poised to play in his seventh finals series in a row.
Assuming he survives Friday night’s Mid-Winter Ball, he will take on the Hitler Youth in his 100th game this weekend! Well done Rob!!
Full Name: Rob Malinauskas
Club Nickname/s:  Octopus/Trembler/Mally 2.0
Age: Height: Weight 194cm 90kg
Guernsey Number: 153
Games Played: Goals Kicked: 99/3
Junior Footy Club: -
Describe yourself as a footballer (In 30 words or less): AFL-Calibre player in my mind. Scum-calibre player based on all tangible abilities
Favorite Movie: Actor: -
Favorite Player Nickname:  Bum Sniffer. Solely because he named himself that.
Favorite Band or Song: Green Ginger Wine
Least Favorite Opposition Club: Ovingham until we beat them in 2013 GF, bankrupted them and forced the club to dissolve. Nowadays Seaton Ramblers.
Football/Sporting Superstitions: Same underwear on game day
When you were 14, what poster did you have on the back of your bedroom door?  
Favourite AFL Club: AFL Player:  Adelaide Crows / Jake Lever
Of the AUFC players you have played with which Player is? (Must not answer with yourself).
Best Looking:
Coaches Pet: 
Smartest: Stefan Musolino
Dumbest: Tim Dean
Best Looking: Pete Malinauskas (same genes)
Coaches Pet: Craig Evans (I actually sometimes wonder if Evo is Ben Warren’s pet)
Best sledge you’ve Given or received:  
Favorite Player at the Club & Why:  Clinton Rule. No explanation necessary
Ask yourself a question and answer it:  

Big week for the two GG’s teams this week, with three milestones. Playing their 300th SAWFL game is “It’s a” Mitzy Galic (only the third player in SAWFL history to reach this mark, and second player to reach while at our club after “Lovers” Tiff Lee), and playing her 150th SAWFL game is Fiona “Stevie G” Clancey. Also, playing her 50th club game, with her bio added below, is Suzanne “Christmas” Holliday.
Full Name: Suzanne Holliday
Club Nickname/s:  Christmas Holliday or Snoozie from the coach that is starting to go viral now
Age: Height: 30: 5f 2
Guernsey Number: #9 
Games Played: Goals Kicked: 99/2 goals (I just don’t enter the forward 50)
Junior Footy Club: n/a
Describe yourself as a footballer (In 30 words or less):  I’m an in and under player and try get the ball out
Favorite Movie: Actor: Step Brothers: Will Ferral
Favorite Band or Song:  i get sick of songs quickly so i dont have one
Least Favorite Opposition Club: used to be Morphies coz they are so successful but now its Christies Beach after the weekend coz they are pure scum
Football/Sporting Superstitions: my black headband and my game day knickers lol
When you were 14, what poster did you have on the back of your bedroom door? Mathew Richardson
Favourite AFL Club: AFL Player:  Richmond and curently Dustan Martin
Of the AUFC players you have played with which Player is? (Must not answer with yourself).
Best Looking:
Coaches Pet: 
Smartest: Stacey Richardson
Dumbest: Nelly
Funniest: Limmo (very witty)
Angriest: Alex Cannizzaro
Best Looking: cant even answer that
Coaches Pet: Ebony

Best sledge you’ve Given or received: its not netball b*tch
Favorite Player at the Club & Why:   Julie Power she knows her stuff playes hard pushess herself and others and easy to get along with.
Ask yourself a question and answer it: can both teams win the flag this year? We have a fair chance.

Pre-Showdown at Uni Oval – August 20

Encouraging everyone to get along and support the club at Uni Oval in the lead up to the Showdown at Bob Neil #4 on August 20.
A’s and B’s take on Port Districts. FGA 2000’s reunion. Cheap beer in the lead up to the big game across the road!

Look A Like





Div 1 (Black Jack & the Showgirls) 7.10.52 defeated by Salisbury NSE&W 11.11.77
Goal Kickers: A. Alesci 2, B. Simpson, M. Newcombe, L. Roach, J. Schulz, W. Paynter
Best Players: S. Paynter, A. Alesci, L. Roach, N. Cottrell, D. Bateman, B. Borg

Div 1R (Super Gav and the Budgie Smugglers) 8.5.53 defeated by Salisbury NSE&W 11.5.71
Goal Kickers: B. Sanders 3, N. Warren 2, S. Pittman, S. Penniment, J. Johnston
Best Players: S. Penniment, B. Sanders, S. Pittman, N. Warren, E. Moore, M. Leslie

Div 7 (Sexy Pimp and his C-Men) 11.8.74 defeated by Karl Marx University 12.10.82
Goal Kickers: D. Polkinghorne 3, B. Robinson 3, P. Pedler 2, J. McGowan, J. Fitzgerald, A. Ireland
Best Players: F. Slape, D. Trezise, D. Polkinghorne, J. McGowan, D. Davis, A. Ireland
Div 7R (Robert Reid and the Brady Bunch) 12.13.85 defeated Karl Marx University 3.4.22
Goal Kickers: G. Kearsley 3, N. Ivic 3, C. Butt 2, T. Nguyen, T. Bowles, N. Pavan, A. Vasek
Best Players: T. Bowles, J. Campbell, M. Makin, N. Ivic, A. Vasek, C. Ramsey

Div C1 (The Chardonnay Socialists) 11.12.78 defeated Salisbury NSE&W 0.4.4
Goal Kickers: N. Hallion 2, M. Stuart 2, M. Beilby 2, P. Hyde 2, D. Jean 2, B. Meier
Best Players: M. Stuart, W. King, N. Noack, R. Cameron, P. Hyde, C. Rohde
Div C3 (The B@stards) 1.1.7 defeated by Mudbury 15.12.102
Goal Kickers: S. Arnfield
Best Players: M. Reid, A. Thomas, T. Nurthen, D. Collett, B. Hill, T. Bell
Div C5 (The Scum) 5.8.38 defeated Mudbury 5.4.34
Goal Kickers: P. Malinauskas 5
Best Players: P. Malinauskas, S. Lawrence, D. Tofan, J. Vidanage, B. Linford, N. Venning


Div 1 (The Postie and Her Dead Letter Office Raiders) 8.7.55 defeated Not-So-Green Acres 3.5.23
Goal Kickers: N. Collie 3, F. Clancey 2, K. Harvey 2, T. Lee
Best Players: W. Benson, J. Power, J. Edwards, K. Edwards, R. King
Div 2 (Hollywood and His Rising Stars) 3.4.22 defeated by Beach Bums 10.4.64
Goal Kickers: N. Collie 2, H. Beale
Best Players: H. Beale, N. Kraemer, B. Corver, T. Nguyen, J. Keipert


Saturday 6th August

Black Jack & the Showgirls (Div 1) v Tee Hee Gully @ The Comedy Colosseum #1 2:15pm

Super Gav and the Budgie Smugglers (Div 1R) v Tee Hee Gully @ The Comedy Colosseum 12:15pm

Sexy Pimp and the C-Men (Div 7) v North Pines For A Win @ Bob Neil #1 2.15pm

The Kenny Everett Video Show (Div 7R) v North Pines For A Win @ Bob Neil #1 12.15pm

The Chardonnay Socialists (C1) v The Raggies @ The Op Shop 10:15am

The B*stards (C3) v Plum-Broke @ Glamourous Oval 2.15pm
The Scum (C5) v Adelaide Loser-uns @ South Parklands 10.15am

Sunday 7th August

The Postie and Her Dead Letter Office Raiders (Open Women’s Div 1) v Toothless Hounds @ Bob Neil #1 2:30pm

Hollywood and His Rising Stars (Open Women’s Div 2) v West Croydon Blue @ Bob Neil #1 12:30pm



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2016 A/B Grade Guernsey Numbers

The A and B grade playing list (with Guernsey Numbers) is available here for those who have requested player numbers when attending games. There are a number of players moving in and out of these teams but we have done our best to cover most players. However, we do apologise if this is not all encompassing of the potential Div 1 playing squad.


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