VOLUME 22, 11 SEPTEMBER 2015
Comeback.
 
Oxford’s dictionary defines it as:
noun
1.
a return to a former higher rank, popularity, position, prosperity, etc.:

“What a comeback by Shane Watson. He now moves into the 20s.”
 
“Adolf Hitler’s father should have asked his mother for his come-back.”
 
That is exactly what the faithful Black’s supporters had the privilege of seeing on the weekend. The B@stards, having only kicked 4 goals for the entire game until that point, were languishing against a revamped, revitalized and revolting Pembroke outfit.
 
With 10 minutes to go in the last quarter, and the B@stards 4 goals down, many on the sidelines were starting to think about whether the Chards would be the lone Uni representatives in the finals the following week.
 
The B@stards had other ideas. They went bang, bang, bang, bang, kicking 4 goals in 6 minutes, leaving them 4 minutes to wax to come away with an outrageous victory.
 
Needless to say they did, and as a result Pem-broke down have now lodged official paperwork with the SAAFL to change their name to Pemchoke.
 
Oh well. At least if Pemchoke need to relax and unwind during the week, we know somebody that can help achieve inner peace.
 
 
 
It wasn’t such great news for the other Blacks finals representatives. The Scum lost (good scum) to Scotch on the rocks by about 50 points,  while the B grade bowed out of their promising season earlier than they would have expected- going down to Ross and Trevor.
 
That means this week- there are four Bob Neil approved games to sink your teeth into.
 
The B@stards play table topping Flinders Park at Flinders Park Oval @ 12:15pm. A win here would see the fairytale one step closer to completion, and send the lads born out of wedlock to a Grand Final.
 
The Chards play the Goodwood Sinners @ 2:30 at Bob Neil #1. Modbury and Scotch will play the curtain raiser on BN#1, as part of AUFC’s pledge to ‘help football teams less fortunate than ourselves get a kick-start in life’ before the main event game.

Masters Round 14 – Uni Greys vs Rosewater @ Rosewater  – Sunday 13th @ 12noon, *Final game of the season (and possibly last Greys game ever), 


Girl Guides, PLAY IN A GRAND FINAL 3:00 on Sunday at The Barton. Bob Neil's Girl Guides play for premiership glory! May Bob be with them, surely the perfect end to a phenomenal season.   

 
Make sure you get out to this weekend, as supporting your fellow club is what good Blackers do.
 
 
May Bob Be With You.
 

Brenton “Nose” Eckert,

"The word out of our vast Greys network is that A1 premiership player (see picture below of Nose admiring the A1 shield in 86), club legend, life member and one of the original Substandard editors back 35 years ago, Brenton “Nose” Eckert, is struggling a bit at the moment.
 
Many at the club know that Nose has been in poor health for a number of years 
now but has continued to battle on with enormous spirit and good humour, as evidenced in his fantastic piece for the Footy Almanac almost a year ago.
http://www.footyalmanac.com.au/77670/
 
As we head into a big weekend of Blacks finals 
footy we just wanted to send a shout out to Nose in his all time favourite publication. You’re in our thoughts and Bob Neil’s prayers Nose. Love ya"



 
Finals Fixture

Saturday 12th September
 

B*stards will be at Flinders Park for Prelim Final at 12:15

Chardonnays at Bob Neil #1 against Goodwood Sinners at 2:30


Sunday 13th September

Masters Round 14 – Uni Greys vs Rosewater @ Rosewater (Eric Sutton Reserve, 47 Newcastle St, Rosewater) – Sunday 13th @ 12noon, *Final game of the season (and possibly last Greys game ever), all welcome as usual, before heading off to the Girls GF


Girl Guides, PLAY IN A GRAND FINAL 3:00 on Sunday at The Barton.


 

"You wouldn't have the guts!"



 

Over 40's Bachelor of the Year 



Rossi Boots have contacted the Great Man for a "Boots only shoot"



Other comments.

Dead set painted on
 

Adelaide University Football Club Presentation Dinner 

 



 Friday 16th October 2015
(6:30pm drinks for a 7:00pm start)
National Wine Centre, 
Corner of Hackney Road & North Terrace 
All inclusive 3 course meal & drinks 
Special guest Graham Cornes 
(AFL & SANFL Halls of
Fame,ex Blacks Player)
Dress: Cocktail

Ticket pricing is as follows:
Player: $100
Player and Partner: $180 
General: $120
General with Partner: $200
Purchase tickets online at
 
http://www.trybooking.com/151951
by 9th October

Sponsored by 

Thesinger and Turner Travel Associates 



 


Blacks Look-A-LIKES

The man-beast, snorlax after being awoken with the poke flute.....anyway you want to spin it - this half man half beast was a true warrior on the field Saturday, a true captain leading his side to a famous victory. YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU



You just want to hand J "Goku" Fitzy the ball sometimes so he can turn super . Every goal the legend kicks is followed by a scream that as loud as like a Metallica concert except Bob Neil is on the vocals. 



Check out this Seinfeld number that was rocked on super sunday! Smelty makes a good Kramer too.




Please send through to football@theblacks.com.au



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Results

 
Finals Results
 
Div 1Reserves (Super Gav and the Budgie Smugglers) 7.7.49 defeated by Ross & Trevor 9.14.68
Goal Kickers: R. Anderson 2, J. Connell, A. Offe, E. Hewish, P. Dolan, D. Robinson
Best Players: M. Quin, D. Robinson, S. Penniment, M. Leslie, K. Green, R. Anderson
 
 
Div C2 (The B*stards) 8.10.58 defeated Pem Broke Down 8.7.55
 
 
Div C3 (The Scum) 7.3.45 defeated by Scotch on the Rocks 13.17.95
Goal Kickers: A. Howard 3, S. Musolino, N. Vezis, R. Gardner, T. Dean
Best Players: A. Howard, S. Musolino, S. Lewis, M. Draca, M. Aplin, P. O''Leary

 
Finals Match Report #1 - Famous B@stards Victory

The B@stards have been pulled in to the middle of Haslam Oval after an abysmal 10 goal loss and told that if they didn’t start talking and working for each other, they may as well forget about winning finals. 2 weeks of hard work later, Bob Neil’s B@stards stepped foot onto Haslam Oval for the last time that year, with a point to prove.

Blake “A little to the right…. Higher…. Higher… yep that’s the spot… now Faster… faster” Christy decided it was the perfect occasion to bring his own personal masseuss, Johnny Sins, to give him a rub down to prepare him for a big game of standing in the back pocket.

Upon walking on the ground for warmups- Pem-choke immediately started chirping at the dark destroyers.

“You ready to get beaten again?” An athletic, yet banter-challenged Pembroke wingman asked Brad “I’ll make orphans of your children” Hill.

After a methodical warm up, and a calm, measured address by Coaching Rising Star Nominee Darren Holst, the B@stards were ready to go.

Opening Bounce. Alex “If I was any better at life, I’d be stuffed in a museum post mortem” Bate thumps the ball forward and the Blacks are away. Some quick disposal, some hard running, and relentless tackling saw the B@stards kick away to a 2 goal lead early, and signs were looking good.

Then disaster* struck. Cameron “Not my USB unplugging arm!” Gregg goes down with a dislocated shoulder which, as a side effect, left him without the ability to move his legs for about 60 seconds. Channeling the true spirit of Bob Neil though, Greggy managed to walk off the field without much fuss making sure he mentioned his injury every 2nd step.

(*use of the word disaster is a gross exaggeration).

Game on. Pem-choke kicked two replying goals, and the teams went into quarter time breaking even. Next term it was time for the Blacks to make use of the wind they had kicked into in the opening term.

2nd term. The blacks channeled their inner Josef Fritzl, and had the ball locked up deep in the pits of their fifty for the majority of the quarter. Unfortunately they couldn’t capitalize though, and the half time siren blew.

Half time saw Pembroke taking a narrow lead, with Bate, Buckby and King dominating for the visitors. Tom “Did you know I used to play for Pembroke?” Seagrim still was statless.

Samuel “Motivation speaking > Football prowess” Arnfield gave the lads a stern reminder in the changerooms that all that half had proved, was that the B@stards were good enough to beat Pembroke. The third quarter was all about keeping that momentum.

Unfortunately, things went as pear shaped for the Blacks, and Pembroke won every clearance, and started peppering the defence of the B@stards. The Blacks dragged themselves in for what they thought would be one last three quarter time address.

They huddled around a short, balding, wider-than-he-is-tall Steamin’ Seagrim, who reminded them that if they didn’t give their absolute best this last quarter, they’d be left to regret it for months.

The fourth quarter started as evenly as an arm wrestle between Johannes ‘The reason I missed was because of perceived pressure” Van Reesema and Susan Boyle.

After 10 minutes the Blacks had been peppering away at Pemchoke, but had nothing to show for it. But then- a breakthrough. A goal that had everyone in the crowd worried, and everyone on the Blacks boundary reciting the exact same Will Smith lyrics.

Here come the men in black. The galaxy defenders.

1 goal became 2, which became 3, thanks to Scott “My kicks float like BHP on the stock market” Henderson.

All of a sudden, they were two points down. Enter Hugh “I DJ at GoGos but I’m actually a nice bloke” Woods. A set shot 25 metres out directly in front is arguably the toughest mental shot to take given the circumstances.

Needless to say, Woodsy sliced the ball through the goals like he was a Jewish doctor holding a scalpel, and the Blacks were in front.

Enter the longest, most painstaking 5 minutes of football history.

Also, enter Harry “Better make sure I didn’t swallow anything valuable” Jamieson. The Kings started to pepper forward, and the Blacks defence held firm. Jamieson fisted like he was the starring role in a Ukrainian punishment por#o, and the blacks were hanging on by the skin of their teeth.

Then, the moment nobody wearing black on the ground will ever forget. I wish I could tell you more about the dying minutes, but the whole thing is a bit of a blur.

Siren.

Yelling. Celebrations. Hugs. Kisses. Bromance, Mass celebrations in the middle of the pitch. It was the only time the Blacks will ever let Dave Power’s face that close to theirs again.

The song was sung, beers were flowing, and the good times rolled. Dr Michael “Poster boy for tattoo removal” Reid called it the best Blacks win he’d ever been associated with…. But he also said that Pitch Perfect 2 was better than Pitch Perfect, so take that with a grain of salt.

Special mentions must go to Alex “If Bater wasn’t here, you’d be rimming me instead” Buckby, Wayne “Yes, that is his real name” King, Bate, Woods, Ball and Jamo for rounding out our best players.

It’s crucial that everybody understands this wasn’t a win crafted by those 6 players named in the best; everybody on that field contributed when it mattered.

A team of champions will always be beaten by a champion team. Remember that.

Now, it’s time for the Blacks to leave the celebration of last Saturday behind them, and now turn their attention to Flinders Park this week.

May Bob Be With You.

#97.

Finals Match Report #2 - Good Scum

Going into the C3 Preliminary Final the loss of four first choice players from the previous week did not bode well for the last 25, but Bunny is not a man to be deterred by such setbacks and his mood was upbeat all week. Not even the lost of the reining best and fairest on the eve of the game through a threatened SAAFL investigation was enough to dampen his enthusiasm.
 
The game was played on a horse paddock located in the grounds of Scotch College, whose extravagantly high fee paying students really should have a better quality oval. Normally football grounds are ringed by bitumen or at least grass and scoreboards advertise beer. Scotch has a picket fence and a surface that even Timmy Dean’s friends would turn their snout up at. Although to be fair they have an electronic score board which spends the breaks in play advertising premium w*ne brands, I’m not talking Sandy’s favourite ginger grist either, more Coriele and Shaw and Smith.
 
Timmy Horse Whisper Dean wasn’t worried about the quality of the surface and kicked an early goal keeping the scum in the hunt after conceding three early goals. Similarly Howie’s legs are so shot he couldn’t tell the difference between a bouncy castle and a pool table so he was fine. He kicked three long range goals and kept the scum in the game for long periods, with his handball receive (sl*t goals). The back line stood up all day despite a staggering number of forward entries reflected in the scoring shots 30 to 10 (thanks Champion Data).
 
Even with the umpire appointed as neutral by the SAAFL was one Big Hairy Willy a 300 game legend of the blacks who has played more than his share of scum games. But more latterly of Unley Jets but none the less a bewildering move by the SAAFL although not one that impacted the result.
 
On a day when everything needed to go right it didn’t and the scum bowed out to the minor premiers a side who lost only one game in the minor round and who had the luxury of topping up with dropped players from their B grade in A2R (no suggestion this is cheating just saying we get ours from the b*strds which is clearly not the same)
 
All in all a pretty solid effort all day with the scoreboard not really reflective of the closeness of general play. Tantalisingly close but not quite this year, this is the sort of result that sees Bunny wanting to come back for more; which means more 500 word team text messages, Monday night swim through team dinners and general intensity not that we would want it any other way. Bring on 2016.
 
BPS – BOG Homewrecker Howie, Muso, Lewy, Draca, Appo and O’Leary
Goal kickers – Howie 3, 1 N Vezis, Timmy Dean, Pumpkin Gardener and Muso
Score: Scotch 13.17 95 v Uni 7.3. 45 

Netflix and Wellington


20 minutes into Netflix and Wellington and he gives you this look:

That September Feeling very prevalent in CHARDS TOWN




11km with a Pram...can't wait for this week. #doingitforthechards #imback #nogaypinkshoeslikeslipper



Cohen now has a guest appearance  on Home and Away next week, as the temporary rebel boyfriend with tats.






 

Happy Father's Day

Father Chewbacca.


 

Have you seen Remember the Titans?

Coach Carter? The Notebook.

Witnessing the B@stards roll home for a famous victory last weekend is a blockbuster plot that will never be forgotten.

Click here to hear them sing the song after.....for the pride and love of the CLUB. 





This is actually my favourite Blacks pic of the year - to witness the fightback and see the B@stards unbridled joy at their win was priceless - being in the rooms for the song and popping of red cans was magic so a big thanks to Holsty and all you Baaaaaaastards!



 

Bob Neil at the Med Ball

Put these 3 rascals on the football field or at a med ball, revelry, hard ball gets and great banter will result,


 

Footy Trip? A Ned Dart Holiday?


When you book with Thesinger & Turner Travel Associates, a percentage of your holiday will go back to The Adelaide University Football Club to go towards prizes, competitions, club member awards and fundraising initiatives.

Fancy a vino? - 3 mixed dozens for Blackers - thanks to our mates Angoves


Our friends at Angoves Family Winemakers have put together 3 fantastic mixed dozens for the Blacks. See the attached form for details, really encourage you to get involved in this as $20 from every cash sold goes straight back to the Blacks.
 

Are you on the lookout for a new Home Loan or possible Refinancing?


Or just want to have a no obligation chat to someone about your existing loan setup? 

Then look no further than James Storer from Bank SA. They have put together a great deal for community clubs, including the AUFC, whereby 0.4% of the initial loan balance goes directly to the club.

James is a Premium Lending Manager in the North Adelaide branch who also happens to be the grandson an ex Captain of the Blacks (Robert Elix). 

For more information please, contact James on the details below or click here for more information. 

BankSA Partnership contact
James Storer
0481 416 777
storerj@banksa.com.au
 

Chardonnay Socialists Fundraiser

The Chards are raising money for their spiritual leader and club legend Darien ‘Dirty’ O’Reilly who is going through a bit of rough patch at the moment. Please help support us by grabbing one of these Entertainment Books and $13 will go towards fundraising. Not only do you support a good cause but you also get some awesome discount’s at some of Adelaide better pubs and restaurants like ‘The Hackney’, ‘The Wright St Hotel’, ‘The Goody’, ‘The Wellington’, ‘The Austral’, ‘The Kentish’ and our home ground ‘The Havelock’. So get behind us and grab yourself a book or digital membership now.
 


Take advantage of free postage to ANYWHERE IN AUSTRALIA
For a limited time only we are offering
FREE POSTAGE to your door!

Click here for free postage.

You’ll also be supporting us in more ways than one! Every Membership purchased through our order page gives us a chance to win a $1,000 WISH eGift Card too! IT’S A WIN WIN!

If you have already purchased your Entertainment™ Membership this year – THANK YOU! Please feel free to forward this email to your friends and family. Every Membership sold helps our fundraising!

Buy Online now

A/B Grade Guernsey Numbers


The A and B grade playing list (with Guernsey Numbers) is available here for those who have requested player numbers when attending games. There are a number of players moving in and out of these teams but we have done our best to cover most players. However, we do apologise if this is not all encompassing of the potential Div 1 playing squad.

BLACKS NEW LINKEDIN PAGE


Get around the Blacks LinkedIn page. 


Click here or on the above image to get at the PAGE. 
 

BANTER, ANTICS, STITCH-UPS


Please send through to football@theblacks.com.au

 

The TEAMS for the Weekend.
 

*PS we endeavour to be perfect, but the teams may not be up by the time you receive this email. Click to view.


Black Jack & The Showgirls​

SuperGav & the Budgie Smugglers

Sexy Pimp & his C-Men
 

Cal Reid's Team Needs a Name


The Chardonnay Socialists


The B@stards


THE SCUM

A/B GRADE SCHEDULE
Round Date Opponent Venue
1 18/04/15 Rostrevor OC Cambelltown Memorial Oval
2 25/04/15 Sacred Heart OC University Oval
3 02/05/15 Portland Port Reserve
4 09/05/15 Henley University Oval
5 16/05/15 Salisbury North University Oval
6 23/05/15 Payneham NU Payneham Oval
7 30/05/15 Tea Tree Gully University Oval
8 13/06/15 Goodwood Saints Goodwood Oval
9 20/06/15 Port District Largs Reserve
10 27/06/15 Rostrevor OC University Oval
11 11/07/15 Portland University Oval
12 18/07/15 Henley Henley Memorial Oval
13 25/07/15 Salisbury North Salisbury North Oval
14 01/08/15 Payneham NU University Oval
15 08/08/15 Tea Tree Gully Pertaringa Oval
16 15/08/15 Goodwood Saints University Oval
17 22/08/15 Sacred Heart OC Sacred Heart Senior College
18 29/08/15 Port District University Oval
THE AUFC IS PROUDLY SUPPORTED BY

MAJOR SPONSORS

 






                                     
   








 





  

 













 








 


 



  











 
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