VOLUME 12, 26 JUNE 2015
Being a club made up of what seems like 80% university students certainly has its pros and cons. 

Having a young demographic involved in the club leads to immeasurably more fun at Super Bowlies, Blacks Ball, and Silly Sunday. It also ensures that a steady stream of eligible ladies come and go like packets of Ashley Ireland’s hair gel.

On the downside though, is that at stages during the year numbers become an issue. 

Just as we’re coming out of a month crippled by blokes that actually care about their degrees, we enter a period where the w@nkers decide to go on holiday.

None will be more missed than ‘handy’ footballer Oscar “Blade Runner” Leonard, and his A grade compatriot Nick “Folically challenged” Langridge. Here’s a snap of Langers enjoying the sun.

We’d also like to take this opportunity to remind Langers to slip slop slap, so his head doesn’t come back looking like a Malteser.

It’s also worth mentioning the A Grades handy win over ROCS.

It’s funny how some things work out isn’t it. In the first 10 rounds, they couldn’t buy a win, but put them in front of a group of 100 female onlookers and they suddenly find the desire to win and put their head over the footy.

The substandard roving reporter was there, and managed to capture a few interviews with some of the Ladies Day attendees. Some highlights are included below:

“This Beneke bloke could probably clone himself, stand on his shoulders, and play in a bigger Guernsey and nobody would notice.”

“If that bloke they’re calling Daddsy is as accurate in other aspects of his life as he is with a football in his hands, I feel sorry for whoever cleans his bathroom.”

“I’m not saying I normally go for older men, but that JP looks like he’s been around the block a couple of times. I wouldn’t say no”.

“While it seems that Jack Grieger has the same mental capacity as Forrest Gump, he certainly can’t run as far.”

This weekend the B@stards and the Chards have a week off, so let’s all have a minute’s silence to pay tribute to their livers. The A’s and B’s have a week off too, leaving the C-men, 7Reserves and Scum are the only teams with fixtures.

The C-men (2:15pm) and the 7Reserves (12:15pm) are playing out at Salisbury West. I won’t tell you where the Scum are playing, so when someone asks you “Why didn’t you go watch the Scum?” you have plausible deniability.

May Bob Be With You.

RIP Philip Walsh

The AUFC, through our partnership with the Adelaide FC State League team, have developed some strong working relationships with AFC staff over the last 12 months. As such, we are shattered by the news this morning. All players, officials, members and supporters of The Adelaide University Football Club extend profound sympathy, love and respect to our colleagues at the Adelaide Football Club and Phil Walsh’s family following Phil’s sudden passing.

Blacks Ball - August 8th

The Prohibition Blacks Ball
Due to past concerns, this year’s event will be completely dry*, but come along for some good sober times.

*except for the beer, cider, wine and $5 cocktails we will be serving on the down low, don’t tell the Feds!
Click attending on the Facebook event to receive all the updates regarding tickets. 

WHERE: The Dom Polski Centre, 230 Angas St, Adelaide
WHEN: Saturday August 8th, from 7pm
DRESS: Swinging 20's, Boardwalk Empire, The Great Gatsby

The usual obligation applies - invite every girl on your friends list, even the one you haven't spoken to since the morning after last Blacks Ball.
Online and Physical tickets will be available next week!
Round 12 Fixture

Saturday 4th July
Black Jack & the Showgirls (Div 1) BYE

Super Gav and the Budgie Smugglers (Div 1R) BYE

Sexy Pimp and the C-Men (Div 7) v Salisbury NSE&W @ Salisbury Downs Sin Drome (Salisbury Downs Oval) 2.15pm

Robert Reid and the Brady Bunch (Div 7R) v North Pines For a Win @ Paint Pot Park (Andrew Smith Reserve) 11.45am

The Chardonnay Socialists (C1) BYE

The B*stards (C2) BYE
The Scum (C3) v Robert Mitcham @ Bob Neil #1 2.15pm
Bob Neil’s Girl Guides v Western Suburbs Hawks @ Hawk On Your Fork Reserve (Fawk Reserve - Hanson Rd, Athol Park) 6pm

Long Friday Lunch – August  7th - Boat Club

After a period of uncertainty we have decided to stick with the proven formula of having the Long Lunch on day of the Crows only Friday Night game of the year. Friday August 7 is the date for your diaries. Guest Speaker(s) will be confirmed shortly and the venue and format will be the same as last year, and then it will be over to the Crows v Tiges for what I’m sure will be a game to be remembered (or not, depending upon how big your arvo is). Apologies to our tribe of teachers at the club for not scheduling it in school holidays but we trust you can schedule a worthwhile “Pupil Free Day” to get along.

More details, including details of speakers and how to book your ticket next week. But for now, ENTER IT IN YOUR CALENDAR.
For those in Sydney, the NSW based Greys lunch will once again be at The Royal Exhibition Hotel (same venue as last year) from 12:30 on the 26th of July with John Harms guest speaker. You will likely hear direct from Rulebook on this but if not contact him on 0414678815 or rulebook@bobneil.com to reserve your spot. More info on our Events Calendar later in Subby.

Blacks Look-A-LIKES

Now we're not implying Nick Beneke has a big nose. Let's just say he always gets to training on time, but his nose gets there 15 minutes early.

Finally we know why Craggy shouts "Are you not entertained!?" after every B-grade win.

Know of any other look-a-likes around the club? 

Please send through to football@theblacks.com.au

Hold Your Bowlies 4/7


6pm start @ Uni Oval Long Room



Save the Dates 

Note some new dates in this for those of you hanging out for the Long Lunch and interstate reunion shows. All events at Bob Neil # 1 unless otherwise indicated.

11 July - Premiership Reunion & Past Players Day 
(Steve McKee and Rulebook have decided to start the day with lunch at the Strathmore Hotel, Café One2Nine at 12 midday, and then walk down the hill to join the throng at the Oval)

26 July - Sydney Reunion (Royal Exhibition Hotel)
1 August - Sponsors Day
7 August (Friday) - Long Friday Lunch (LOCKED IN) 
8 August - Blacks Ball 
29 August - Family Day
16 October - Annual Dinner (Wine Center)

There are some HUGE premiership reunions to celebrate this year on Saturday the 11th of July, notably:
60 years for the 1955 A1 team
50 years for the 1965 A1, A3 and Colts Team (the only year we ever had Colts)
40 years for the 1974/75 A1 teams (also having a separate show, contact Barty for details if you haven't already heard)
25 years for the A8 team (Tonto & the Well Hung Posse), A8R team (Top Scum) and freshly remembered the A11 team.
15 years for the 2000 Chards and FGA
10 years for the 2005 B*stards.

That is a lot for us to follow up, especially with the Book a little busier than normal courtesy of the Future Premier, so if any of you played in those teams please start spreading the word 

'Sex on a Stick'

A Grade stalwart Lucas Antoniadis missed a cracking win on the weekend to be away with his partner at the snow, but it appears he was still kicking some goals of his own. Note the caption...

It's like he's wearing nothin' at all... Nothin' at all... Stupid sexy Lucas!

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Round 11 Results

Div 1 (Black Jack & the Showgirls) 10.8.68 defeated Ross & Trevor 7.8.50
Goal Kickers: B. Smelt 2, A. Alesci 2, B. Simpson 1, T. Lindsay 1, S. Pittman 1, D. Bateman 1,
K. Flanigan 1, S. Paynter 1
Best Players: J. Grieger, S. Paynter, T. Lindsay, N. Beneke, N. Langridge, T. Eldredge
Quality win on Ladies Day in front of a packed house. #Life Grieger was outstanding from full back and new recruit ‘Iron Mike’ Tyson Lindsay dazzled the crowd with some fancy footwork and a clutch goal deep in the last to help seal a memorable victory. One of those great days at the Blacks. 
Div 1Reserves (Super Gav and the Budgie Smugglers) 13.5.83 defeated Ross & trevor 4.8.32
Goal Kickers: P. Dolan 4, J. Dearing 2, S. Penniment 1, T. Muecke 1, J. Fladrich 1, E. Hewish 1,
K. Green 1, A. Offe 1, M. Quin 1
Best Players: C. Slape, H. Wellington, J. Connell, J. Johnston, S. Penniment, P. Dolan
Teeing off on the back nine, we noticed only the one victory against the 3 teams above us on the ladder… ROCs… and looked to repeat the dose against the same arrogant mob of f$%ks again at our home confines on Ladies Day. In keeping with the injury riddled trend of the season to date combined with exam silly season, a mere 9 changes to the winning 21 at Largs Reserve (43%) re-joined the team on a corker sunny yet cool day for footer.
After the red & black slotted the first snag for the arvo, the Smugglers settled well in a red hot contest expected of 3rd v 4th to raise the next 3 sets of twin calicos for the quarter to hit the first break with momentum & belief. ROCers hit the 2nd term intent on niggle and argy bargy as a way to seize back momentum, but when the Blacks responded with interest to the physicality, the unsociable rules of engagement had been well established as our stingy & miserly back 6 kept the visitors to the solitary sausage for the half, holding a 3 goal lead at the main break.
With the Gloyne Hobbit cooked for the day with a re-tweaked hammy, we reiterated how quickly our 3 goal half time lead evaporated at Goodwood, and with some stern resolve kicked away in the 3rd quarter, with Dolan Work Don’t Mix peppering the sticks to establish a match winning lead… the only blight being Blackboard Chalk completely butchering his already dicey ankle roughly 2 seconds before he was due to be rotated off the paddock. “You’re a c*ckhead Greeny” from our opponent was a barometer of Blacks dominance… it’s continued utterance having the cannonball thriving on it as our agitator continued to get under their skin.
At ‘lemons’ it was established that gun midfielder Dr Quin Medicine Woman was groggier than Robbie Gray after a Bryce Gibbs sling tackle, and deep in la la land with concussion like the Rat Platten in the ’89 granny, leaving no rotations for the final term. In a gutsy effort, the lads continued to pile on the snags for an emphatic margin to send a message to the spooners from the East. The partisan Chardonnay crowd hit full voice, many beers in, as their boy Large Cox put the exclamation mark on the win with a classy running sausage from the boatshed pocket. The only threat came from within, as the red mist descended on team runner Jamesy after witnessing a gutless Sam Bowler elbow to Merky Waters about 100m off the pill… Jamesy hunting down Bowler with the skill of a native hunter for about 200m to politely inform that his skull may be inadvertently removed from body if that cr@p ever occurred again… SAAFL umpiring director Rowston reminding the man in bright yellow he can’t be doing that sh!t either.
In the absence of Big Divots and Harvey 2 Face promoted to the As, Slape & Sons rucked 4 quarters like a war horse and got the better of the big gangly blonde bloke to get the Ladies Day jugs at Bowlies. Harry the Merl continued consistent outstanding rebounding form, Shoeless Joe Connell dominated at half forward and the strong midfield brigade rounded out the top 6.
Big props to the Showgirls who broke their duck, played a decent premiership quarter and extending ROC’s misery with a rousing come from behind win accompanied by some ripping scenes in the rooms while elevating to that all important 8th place on the ladder. Next stop after the bye, Portland back at beautiful BN#1.
Div 7 (Sexy Pimp & the C-Men) 9.2.56 defeated by Hout & About 17.11.113
Goal Kickers: Z. Turnbull 2, A. Roberts 2, D. Davis 1, F. Slape 1, S. Nankivell 1, M. Jamieson 1,
A. Butler 1
Best Players: D. Davis, D. Coughlan, D. Trezise, M. Jamieson, T. Nihill
On a day where available players were as rare as Western tourists in the Middle East, the Blacks pulled together to get the job done, at least to get a team on the park. Double Ds donned the white t shirt and whistle to umpire down at Port Wildlife Reserve as the B@st@rds kicked the dew of the ground for the Flagon of Portland magoos and then along with some B@st@rd mates (Strong Mann, More Power, Peter Garrett and Christies Auctions – who ran the boundary for the CMen) made the hop, skip and jump trip to Far Away Field to play for the CMen against Out N About. Others to play two games on the day were Butts Deep and Golden Arches McMichael, while Reidy Jnr admirably ignored the fine young men of his Brady Bunch to suit up in the late game. Even 180 Dart got on board coming from playing with the SCUM to run water.
Good kicking is normally good football and until half time for the C-Men it was good football. Leading by 6 goals to 2 deep in the second quarter it seemed an upset was on the cards. Not wanting Out N About to feel left out we let them kick a few in red time and even take a 1 goal lead into the main break. This act of kindness didnt pay off for the CMen as Out N About took advantage of the Cmens tiring legs to kick 10 goals to 3 in the second half and provide plenty of ammunition for their ever so sharp B graders hurling abuse from the hill. The best had to be, Its a bad to be number 8 buddy, as Windmills copped a barrage every time he went near it.
In the end the result didnt reflect the commitment the boys showed to the famous black with white V, but all involved were proud of and pleased with their efforts. Many thanks. Bob Neil salutes you.

Div 7Reserves (Robert Reid and the Brady Bunch) 3.10.28 defeated by Hout & About 10.7.67
Goal Kickers: E. Bobyn 1, B. Stevenson 1, C. Ovenden 1
Best Players: B. Stevenson, C. McMichael, J. Vidanage, C. Baker, P. Smith, G. Ruth
Div C1 (The Chardonnay Socialists) 11.12.78 defeated Goodwood Sinners 5.5.35
Goal Kickers:
Best Players: N. Hallion, A. Vallelonga, S. Parker, N. Noack, C. Rohde, B. Meier
After serving up a performance more akin to a box of Sunnyvale fruity lexia against Henley on Drugs, the Chards bounced back with a champagne showing of Dom Pérignon quality against old foe the Sinners to kick off a glorious Blacks hat-trick on a splendid day at beautiful Bob Neil 1.
In a performance personified by selflessness and discipline, every player stuck to the plan and did their bit as the Chards ran riot in the second term on their way to a convincing 7-goal winners.
Harrion led the way, starting the day like a penguin as he gracefully slid around in the dewy conditions before finishing like a mangy, three-legged dog after an afternoon at the bottom of the packs.
The returns of Agro, Slipper and Women's (occasionally) Weekley proved a big bonus, while we appreciated Dino Dibra taking some time out from his underworld duties in Melbourne.
Div C2 (The B*stards) 15.7.97 defeated Flagon of Portland 6.6.42
Goal Kickers:
Best Players: A. Bate , T. Seagrim , A. Buckby , M. MacIntyre , D. Gallagher , S. Arnfield
Waking up early on a Saturday morning to play football against Portland isn’t something a B@stard enjoys. To make things worse, it was to be played at their home ground, which is just over the lead line into Port Adelaide.
There are a few things you need to remember when travelling to this area. Don’t carry cash. Ensure personal hygiene standards are dropped days in advance to develop a hint of Bogan musk. If you have a friend who owns an old commodore, anything with a bit of rust or blows smoke, borrow it, it’s a good disguise to arrive undetected.
On arrival to the ground we were treated to some local artwork on the walls of the clubroom. I am still left pondering the deep thought and inspiration that went into the steady handed execution of “F@ck the Po Po”. Truly inspirational. On another wall was a stunning reproduction of a B0ng. Breathtaking.
Running out of the change rooms built for one to warm up, there was an immediate sense of Danger. Death and disease was lurking in every orifice of the ground, club rooms and its Centrelink funded local following. We quickly switched on and proceeded to prepare for what would be a physically demanding contest.
Portland have one brand of football, which has brought them little success over the years. Attack the man, not the football. This worked for them initially as they kicked the first goal of the game and were up and about. Lifting our intensity we managed to kick the last 3 goals of the quarter, and silence what was looking a confident Portland supporter base. The second quarter was won by Portland, and if it wasn’t for a couple of late goals, we would have gone in behind at half time.
After a fairly average first half we came out firing in the third, piling on 7 unanswered goals. This seemed enough for the average b@stard and the foot was well and truly taken off the gas for the last which resembled end to end kicking as Portland stacked their backline. Final scores show a fairly convincing win.
Special Mentions
Alexander “Mangina” Mann. Last week his offering of lemons to all the kids didn’t deliver the desired outcome. This week he was the candy man himself. Selling candy left right and centre, he weaved his way to a goal, and goal assist to remember. He was seen later that day giving away leftover candy from the back of a beat up transit van. This wouldn’t have been so bad if hehadn’t parked up at a busy playground… Alex “Masturb@te” Bate. Best game he has played. Dominating the taps and on occasion crumbing his own work. I’d make some jokes about the amount of ball he tapped, but it was a seriously good game. The bastards face a hard battle keeping him in the team with a performance like that. Gagg-asaurous-s3x played another great game rebounding off the back line. Pretty sure he’s been hanging out with Mangina at the playground learning all there is to know about candy selling/giving. Braden kicked some goals, nothing to get excited about there. He played in the forward line, and that’s pretty much his job.
Seagrim played a hard game but someone touched his knee late, apparently he’s hurt. Oh well, toughen up princess.All in all, we walked away with the points….. Literally walked away. Our tyres were stolen during play.
Div C3 (The Scum) 18.14.122 defeated Holy Trinity 3.1.19
Goal Kickers: A. Howard 5, R. Gardner 4, P. Malinauskas 3, S. Philpot 1, A. Moulds 1, A. Beneke 1, P. O'Leary 1, M. Pearson 1, E. Dart 1
Best Players: D. Currie, S. Lewis, P. O'Leary, S. Lawrence, N. Lawrence, A. Howard
Facing a Trinity College side sitting below them on the ladder the scum need to win and win well. Trinity turned up with 19 players, wearing knock off crows jumpers and not looking super fit but to their credit played some reasonable footy at times. Played in the balmy glow of an early winters sunny day the superior pace and marking power of the blacks shone through, dominating centre clearances and running well from half back and in the end the long road trip, Trinity’s ground being at the furthest edge of the SAAFL zone, combined with low numbers allowed the scum to run over the top to record a 100 point win.
 Howie kicked five goals, Pumpkin Gardener four (including a handball from Howie from 10m out!!) the future premier three and singles to mouldy, Beneke, Darty, Doc Philpot, Sally Pearson and Pat O’Leary.
Better players included hi roller Chewy (as shown) who looks like hes working into some good ruck form ahead of his favourite team the Mitcham Hawks, Homemaker Howie, Nathan and Sam Lawrence, Pat O’Leary, Palsy Lewis and best on ground the Frankfurter (Currie).
 Appo was in vintage form in the back half and looks strong ahead of his milestone game this coming week 2.15pm at Bob Neil Number One. Time to get on board the Scum Train. 
Open Women’s Div 2 (Bob Neil’s Girl Guides) 11.12.78 defeated Alcopop’s Playground 4.0.24
Goal Kickers: F. Clancey 6, J. Power 2, J. Hull , S. Li , O. McCann
Best Players: L. Kenyon , S. Pridgeon , M. Jones , F. Clancey , M. Lock
Round 8 of the SAWFL saw Bob Neils Girl Guides travel out to Graeme Kellett Reserve for the first time in 2015, for a Double Header clash of SAWFL football, with The Girl Guides taking on Alcopops Playground in the early game, and Gangrene Acres taking on the same opposition in the late game.
The Girl Guides again had debutants in the side for this key match, including Ol Blighty (Anna Blight) and The Torture Chamber (Shannon Racz), as well as six other first year players, and a further two that were new to the club.
The game started with Big Bird (Bridgette Needs) back into the side, and back into the ruck, with the likes of The Marathon Runner (Laura Kenyon), Hulk (Jamilla Hull) and Ninja (Sophie Li) joining her in the middle, all after long absences from the side. This was to be the last game of the year for Ninja, who had been called upon by the Cambodian Government to assist with ridding the country of its out of control crime rate, so was relocating for at least 12 months.
It didn’t take long for The Girl Guides to get on the board, with Steven Gerrard (Fiona Clancey) leading strongly to meet a good pass from Nellie the Elephant (Taylor Nelson) who was waving her trunk backwards and forwards out on the wing. Steven Gerrard kicked the goal, and before long was back in the action, this time with Daisy Thomas (Courtney Thomas) doing the lead up work, to register her second for the gam to see The Girl Guides go in leading 3.2 to 1.0 at ¼ time.
The second term saw the defence of The Girl Guides keep their opponents to no score. The Deadbolt (Megan Lock) had shut things down, and whenever Alcopops Playground looked dangerous, The Big Fish (Elora Fisher) reeled the opposition back in. Listerine (Lisetta Mauceri) was blasting away, and providing great run, while Christmas Holliday (Suzanne Holliday) was not in a festive mood.
Speed Racer (Mikayla Hein) added speed and zip around the forward line, and along with Fifty Shades of Grey (Erin Hennessy), applied great offensive pressure to the Alcopops Playground defence. Added to this was Hulk taking it upon herself to commence the smashing of the opposition, picking up the ball just outside 50, running inside, and kicking a great, long distance goal.With the siren about to sound, Steven Gerrard again found herself with the ball, and finished with an accurate kick, to give The Girl Guides a comfortable 6.8 to 1.0 lead at ½ time.
Although The Girl Guides entered the last term with a 7 goal lead, Alcopops Playground wouldnt let up in their pressure. Applying pressure of their own was The Celtic Warrior Princess (Brigid Morgan), who had driven her opponent to the point of snapping, wearing her tighter than chain mail fits the body for the whole game.
Even with all this pressure from their opponent, The Girl Guides defence held strong, allowing The Marathon Runner to find her second wind, and find Steven Gerrard inside 50 again. Steven Gerrard didnt let her team mates down, kicking truly, and going to celebrate with a traditional slide on the knees to the corner flag, before kissing the camera lens. The Pidgeon also had plenty of energy left in her wings, and flew away from the opposition like Alcopop would in her day down the final furlong at Morphettville.
With the game finally sealed, The Girl Guides turned to some junk time football, passing the ball around, and winding down the clock. And quite fittingly, it was Ninja who ended up with the ball in her hands in her last outing for Bob Neils Girl Guides (until mid-2016 anyway) at the final siren.

Blackers Job Board - Junior Accountant 

LMS energy are looking at employing a junior accountant in the near future. Ideally they have had a couple of years post grad experience in private practice at a big 4 or midtier firm and gained CA qualification or well on their way.

The job is based in our Adelaide office. We are of course an equal opportunities employer so “blackmen” also extends to the blackwomen (girl guides etc). 

For more details please contact chairman@bobneil.com and would be good to attach a resume!


Tom 'Lazarus' Chalk

After stumbling off the ground against Ross & Trevor barely under his own power, you would have been forgiven for wondering whether Chalk is Cheap would ever walk again, let alone play football again this year. All fears for Chalky's health were dissuaded later that night at the Havey, presumably after the consumption of a couple of chocolate milks...

Yes, the horsey being ridden by 'Chalk is Cheap' is B Grade coach Gavin Cragg, clearly a staunch believer in post-game professionalism. 

APPO's 200th

200 Games - MICHAEL ‘Appo’ APLIN
Well ladies and gentlemen, he’s almost made it. Yes, assuming he gets through to game time tomorrow (and that’s a big assumption with his fragile body and bedroom gymnastics routine), the great Michael Percival Aplin will finally trundle out in his 200th game for the World’s Greatest Football Club at 40 years of age, only 23 years after his debut! As long-time team-mate Craig ‘Yuppy Uppy’ Uppington astutely observes; “Appo started playing at the same time as Dustin Fletcher, for half the games.”

As we cast our minds back to 1992, a leap year starting on a Wednesday of the Gregorian calendar, the following highlights readily spring to mind;
  • The Atari 2600 is finally discontinued
  • Bill Clinton becomes US President
  • Half the current A grade are in nappies
  • LA Riots following police beating of Rodney King
  • Miley Cyrus is born
  • Nick ‘Krazy’ Vezis qualifies for the old age pension
  • Benny Hill dies
  • West Coast become first non-Victorian club to win AFL Premiership
  • And a spritely 17 year old Appo makes his Blacks debut
The great DK Graetz (aka The Jerk) was of course already a Blacks veteran by 1992, and had this to say about Appo’s debut, as he cast his mind back to the days when the term “pushing hard into defence” had a whole different meaning; I have fond memories of a much younger Appo turning up in the Div 1Res in 1992, not shy and definitely not without an opinion of his abilities. He could kick long and low which immediately made him my friend, well much moreso than some of the spuds that couldn’t anyway.”
And so, via the fertile breeding grounds of Blackfriars Priory School and Glenelg U/19, a Blacks legend was born. And that would be a legend both on the field, and on the physio’s table, as even in his debut 1992 season, Appo missed half the year with an ankle injury. He then returned half way through 1993 with ‘JayJay & The Rising Suns’, and tasted Blacks glory with a Premiership medal and Best & Fairest trophy. The kid with #52 on his back had arrived.
Over the next 2 decades ‘Aplin Turnover’ tried coaching in 1996 (‘Appo’s Angels’ in the C grade ‘Division from Hell’), he captained the C grade to the 1997 Premiership (that most magical night at the Havelock when all Blacks lower grades won flags, can you imagine?!), he served on the committee, won another 4 flags with the FGA (2000-03) to make 6 flags in total, spent a few years ‘finding himself’ overseas, retired a few times, made a few comebacks, married the gorgeously divine Kendall, won ‘Best in Finals’ (quintessential big game player) and ‘Top Team Man’ awards, kicked 183 goals (PB of 7) and was runner-up in the Amateur League Medal in 2000 (pipped by some new upstart rookie pr!ck of a team-mate)!

23 years you say? Only 200 games? Shouldn’t it be more like 300, or even 400 games? That’s a good question, and here are the painful answers;
  • 1992/93 – Ankle (half seasons)
  • 1995 – Knee (half season)
  • 1996 – Thumb (season)
  • 2000/01 – Shoulder (half seasons)
  • 2002/03 – Calf (half seasons)
  • 2006 – Ankle/Achilles (season)
  • 2011 – Achilles (season)
And they’re just the more serious injuries! In fact over the years Appo has used twice as much strapping tape as any other Blacks player, such that one of our most famous and dedicated supporters in Roy Grandstand, rest his soul, used to swear that he could see a Mummy running around on Uni Oval, such was the bandaging holding Appo together (or the amount of liquor Roy had consumed before noon).
As another great team-mate Stuart ‘Waddle Duck’ Clark recalls, Appo also made a habit of delivering his finest moments in the biggest games; “I can still remember some pretty impressive rants at quarter time huddles especially in finals, and he also kicked the (cl)@rsiest goal I think I have ever seen. The fact that it was at a rather crucial moment in a Grand Final was obviously a bonus.” Speaking of which, please enjoy Appo’s 2003 Grand Final ‘Goal of the Year’ (in VHS quality), securing the FGA’s 4th flag in a row, and isn’t he pretty happy with his work at the end of it, if you don’t mind!

When all is said and done however, it’s not the length of your hamstring which counts, but how you twang it, and so returning to the sagely DK Jerkington; “Congratulations to Appo on clocking up 200 games. It’s been a long time coming but when you’ve been injured as often as he has it can stretch things out. On the subject of stretching things out Appo’s much abused hamstring has been the root of most of the evil over the journey but now seems to cope much better with the rigors of football which is strange as with increasing age it should work in reverse. He loves his footy and likes a beer and while he went missing for a while he turned back up for a stint with the FGA juggernaut when it was raining premierships so I guess that makes him very astute as well. A very likeable bloke with football ability, I can highly recommend him for a night out.”
Bob Neil congratulates Appo on a glorious 200 games and most thoroughly deserved AUFC Life Membership, and wishes him the very best of luck in achieving one last “Final Flag Fling” with the mighty AUFC Scum!

Full Name: Michael Paul Aplin
Club Nickname/s:  Aplin Turnover, Appo
Age: Height: Weight 40 / 183cm / 93kg (it was 83kg when I started)
Guernsey Number: 52
Games Played: Goals Kicked: 199 / 183
Junior Footy Club: Blackfriars Priory School / Glenelg Football Club
Premierships? 6
Describe yourself as a footballer (In 30 words or less): Utility player who can play where needed and likes the big games. Also now old and slow.
Favourite Movie: Actor: Movie- Top Gun / Actor -  Matt Damon
Favorite Player Nickname: The Dancing Pole
Favourite Band or Song: U2
Least Favourite Opposition Club: Paralowie
Football/Sporting Superstitions: Try to be last out of the changerooms before game
When you were 14, what poster did you have on the back of your bedroom door? Big Glenelg /Carlton  fan back in the day so it would have been Stephen Kernahan
Favourite AFL Club: AFL Player: Carlton / Chris Judd
Of the AUFC players you have played with which Player is? (Must not answer with yourself).
Coaches Pet: 
Most Courageous:
Widest Playing:
Worst Handballer:
Jamahl “Bewey” Waddington
Too Many to name
Sam Lawrence – hits someone most games
Most of the B Grade when Spook coached
Cam Bryson – someone that skinny shouldn’t be that hard
Gary Krievs (fur seal)
Jerk – for his girth
Nick Vezis – does like a kick
Best sledge you’ve Given or received: Not one in particular comes to mind but I was pretty good at baiting opposition and getting them sent off – always rewarding
Favorite Player at the Club & Why: Jerk – The number of games and years dedicated to the club and teammates was amazing. He also wasn’t bad in the early days!
Favourite Club Song: The Scum Song
Ask yourself a question and answer it: Q - What is the Worlds Greatest Football Club?


Flick of the Week

Big Daddy

A lazy law school grad adopts a kid to impress his girlfriend, but everything doesn't go as planned and he becomes the unlikely foster father


A/B Grade Guernsey Numbers

The A and B grade playing list (with Guernsey Numbers) is available here for those who have requested player numbers when attending games. There are a number of players moving in and out of these teams but we have done our best to cover most players. However, we do apologise if this is not all encompassing of the potential Div 1 playing squad.


Get around the Blacks LinkedIn page. 

Click here or on the above image to get at the PAGE. 


Please send through to football@theblacks.com.au


The TEAMS for the Weekend.

*PS we endeavour to be perfect, but the teams may not be up by the time you receive this email. Click to view.

Black Jack & The Showgirls​

SuperGav & the Budgie Smugglers

Sexy Pimp & his C-Men

Cal Reid's Team Needs a Name

The Chardonnay Socialists

The B@stards


Round Date Opponent Venue
1 18/04/15 Rostrevor OC Cambelltown Memorial Oval
2 25/04/15 Sacred Heart OC University Oval
3 02/05/15 Portland Port Reserve
4 09/05/15 Henley University Oval
5 16/05/15 Salisbury North University Oval
6 23/05/15 Payneham NU Payneham Oval
7 30/05/15 Tea Tree Gully University Oval
8 13/06/15 Goodwood Saints Goodwood Oval
9 20/06/15 Port District Largs Reserve
10 27/06/15 Rostrevor OC University Oval
11 11/07/15 Portland University Oval
12 18/07/15 Henley Henley Memorial Oval
13 25/07/15 Salisbury North Salisbury North Oval
14 01/08/15 Payneham NU University Oval
15 08/08/15 Tea Tree Gully Pertaringa Oval
16 15/08/15 Goodwood Saints University Oval
17 22/08/15 Sacred Heart OC Sacred Heart Senior College
18 29/08/15 Port District University Oval











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