VOLUME 28, 29 APRIL 2016
And just like that, with a blink of an eye, we're three rounds in to a new season. 

It was a good time to be a blacks supporter last weekend. The A grade were up and about, knocking off the formidable Henley A grade. The B grade were slightly less up and slightly less about, but it mattered not as they were unperturbed by Henleys B grade. Even the Scum arrived to their game relatively punctually. 

Spectators also flocked to the main events, comforted by the fact that there was almost zero chance they would be subjected to watching two politicians playing against each other.

We're not saying Corey Bernardi wasn't a valuable member of the PAC side that played against Uni. Not at all. We assume he didn't want to get possessions because he was playing a 'team role'. What we are saying though is if he was really serious about getting near some leathery Cow hide, he'd have kicked up a bigger fuss when a certain speaker of the house was relieved of her duty 

It's always good when injuries happen in peculiar ways. Normally we have to take a bit of artistic license to infer that our mighty Blacks players have suffered their breaks, twists and sprains in embarrassing ways. 

Lucky for us this time, the story surrounding Harry Jamieson's latest shoulder mishap needs no dressing up. 

In short, it's never a good text for a mother to read, when her son sends her a message from the hospital saying "Hey Mum, I've just popped my brother off on the dance floor".

That's unfortunately exactly what happened though, when trying to hoist Max onto his shoulders at Groovin' The Moo, Harry managed to dislocate his shoulder again. Come on Harry. Dislocating something whilst trying to get your brother up is something we normally reserve for the affluent folk of Flinders Uni.

Hold Your Bowlies

Rocky Austin hosting. The Havy. Cheap Beers. Good Shnittys. Lots of wins. Fellas.
Bowlies 7pm this Saturday, no game at Adelaide Oval on Saturday night and Tom Milton has guaranteed a jug skull on entry. The stars are aligning. Just remember gentlemen and gentlewomen winning teams always stay hydrated.

Snippets of Grey

Thanks to all Greys who braved the elements of the Long Room last Friday night to come down to BN1 and cheer on the Crows on the TV, whilst occasionally glancing at the Showgirls very solid display against Henley in the live game. Probably the only time that focus got taken away from the TV was when (1) the ANZAC ceremony was conducted with both A grade teams still in the rooms (bloody B graders lining up pretending to be A graders), or (2) when the lights predictably went out at half time, or (3) when the sprinklers went on in Henleys forward line in the last quarter.

To be fair, Henley took all of that carry-on remarkably well and we thank them for that, but their sense of humour ran out when someone forwarded them last weeks Subby and they noticed that their affectionate nickname is Henley-on-Drugs. Got us thinking why that nickname ever came to be (“it just is” was the common response) so we presume it was something to do with the proximity to Henley High. “High on Drugs”, get it? Clever.

Anyway, whilst we generally ark up at any of this PC rubbish, we reckon that changing that nickname is fair enough in this instance. So, please send any suggestions through to us. We’ll go with the best and preferably most inappropriate, but please refrain from any connection to drugs (obviously) or prostitution, as “A Broads View” has that covered.

Tickets are predictably going like hot cakes. We would love to have everyone RSVPd and paid up by next Friday if at all possible (i do appreciate that for a Blacks event this is genuinely IMpossible), so get your groups sorted and RSVP either to sam.bridgwood@macquarie.com or just make payment direct to the below account:

Adelaide University FC 
BSB: 015-010
Account: 403 410 418     
Reference: “Your surname” Lunch

We are still looking for a couple of decent auction items (preferably not something signed by Chocka or Legend as we have that covered) so if you or your business may be able to assist with this please let us know. I'm thinking flat screen tv, holiday house rental type stuff.

Following on from the night that was Presidents Keg, an only slightly more reserved crew of the 60s variety caught up in the very same beer garden for their regular Havelock pi55 up as organised by the unfortunately absent OX. Led by coach Allan Greer, all 90 odd years of him, the stories expanded as the afternoon progressed and the red wine flowed like vodka the previous night. What a bunch of bloody legends.

Lastly, it would be remiss of us not to wish one of our favourite Life Members, Graham "Shaggy/Custard Guts" Burton a very happy 40th birthday. Always been good at ball sports has our Shaggy...

Entertainment Book

This year the Mighty Blacks will be fundraising with the Entertainment Book. The books are $65 each ($13 of this goes towards the club/team as a fundraising component).
Each team has a designated fundraising site (refer to links below). Share with your friends, family, neighbours, work colleagues, drinking buddys and tinder (or grinder – we don’t judge) dates. Funds raised go directly to the team/Club.
Bob Neil has used his scientific calculator that he only needs to sell 4 books to get a carton of South Australia’s finest and a bottle of Green Ginger Wine!
Last year the Chards raised over $300 selling the book, which was donated to Dirty.
For those of you that don’t know the book it is filled with plenty of 2-4-1 deals and 25% off vouchers for clubs and bars across Adelaide. With places like The Havey, The British, The Kentish, Zambrero and Burger Foundary you’ll be sure to make you money back.
Here is a Flick Book that you can look through so you can see all the vouchers: https://issuu.com/epaau/docs/adelaide_2016-2017?e=16038615/33205593
These are the teams and club link below, you need to click on the team/club link dependant on who you want to support. It’s definitely worth sharing these payment pages:
Adelaide University Football Club: http://www.entbook.com.au/9294r35
A & B Grade: http://www.entbook.com.au/92z8709
C & D Grade: http://www.entbook.com.au/9294w34
Chardonnay Socialists: http://www.entbook.com.au/927j028
The B@stards: http://www.entbook.com.au/9x29437
The Scum: http://www.entbook.com.au/927j028
Girl Guides: http://www.entbook.com.au/92p8943
If you want a book they can be brought to training or delivery can be organised to a home or office. If you buy digital it is uploaded onto your phone and is able to use immediately, it’s definitely the way to go.
Any queries, please see contact Chardonnay Socialist, Anthony ‘Drop Bear’ Vallelonga on 0403 583 735.

Match Report of the week

A B@stards life ft Rocky Austin

IIt was a fine Saturday morning. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and now that the fuzz had left the premises for the second time the drum and bass could again be cranked and the jazz cigarettes re-lit. Rocky surveyed the living room and found a veritable human zoo of an after-party, approximately 30 ravers of all types necking whatever they could get their hands on. The clock on the kitchen wall read 8:30 but time had long ago lost all meaning. Everyone was engaged in deep and engrossing conversations that were forgotten as soon as they were finished. 

As daylight started seeping into the room the polish started to wear off and the alcohol reached critically low levels. It was up to DJ Selva to trundle down the road and wait patiently for the doors of BWS to open, returning with arms laden, a hero. And so the kick-ons kicked on once more, fuelled by this fresh batch of booze. Slowly but surely the ravers dwindled, climbing, crawling and stumbling into various taxis and ubers. 

Only the dregs remained and after a shameful bedroom display the horror finally dawned on Rocky – it was Saturday and he had been picked to play B@stards. After bundling the final partygoers into a taxi he quickly got dressed into his footy gear, cursing Holsty for selecting him despite not ticking the team sheet and telling him that he was unavailable this week. In a flash he zoomed to Park 10 in his silver bullet just in time to pass out on the bench as the B@stards got pummelled.

B@stards 3.1.19
Tea Tree Gully 12.9.81


Super Gav and one of his newest B grade superstars Sam "Grievous Bodily" Harms share more than just a love for fine wines and late night walks on the beach. Any chance someone was keeping tabs on Gav's whereabouts in the early 90s? Just asking for a friend.

One of these guys is a future backline superstar, playing at one of Australia's most successful and prestigious football clubs with female attention hanging off him left right and centre. The other loser is 2015 number 1 draft pick Jacob Weitering.

Now we're not saying Nick "Cottee's Cordial" Cottrell is good at football... But we kinda are.

Quote of the Week

Tom "Rocky" Austin, upon noticing the real name of Chardonnays stalwart David "Gino" Jean:

"In all my 9 years at the Blacks I just assumed that Gino was one of those rare ginger Italians, like an albino African. My mind has been blown."

Close, but not quite Rocky.

2016 Key Dates

May 13 - Long Lunch
May 21 – Super Bowlies upstairs at the Havelock
May 28 - 1996 Premiership Reunion
June 4 – Ladies Day at Uni Oval
July 2 – Blacks Ball
July 30 – Clubs night at the Havelock
August 28 – Super Sunday at the Havelock
October 7 – Annual Dinner



Div 1 (Black Jack & the Showgirls) 10.13.73 defeated Henley 6.14.50
Goal Kickers: M. Newcombe 3, B. Borg 2, W. Paynter 2, N. Langridge, N. Beneke, J. Willis
Best Players: N. Beneke, W. Paynter, S. Paynter, L. Antoniadis, J. Noonan, M. Newcombe
Div 1R (Super Gav and the Budgie Smugglers) 7.12.54 defeated Henley 7.7.49
Goal Kickers: J. Connell 4, E. Hewish 2, S. Penniment
Best Players: J. Connell, M. Swift, S. Pittman, S. Harms, A. Offe, J. Dearing
Div 7 (Sexy Pimp and his C-Men) 10.14.74 defeated by Central Disunited 12.8.80
Goal Kickers: J. Fitzgerald 2, A. Ireland 2, S. Harris 2, P. Pedler, J. Cmrlec, D. McIntosh, T. Milton
Best Players: D. Polkinghorne, P. Pedler, D. McIntosh, C. Mintz, T. Vickery
Div 7R (Robert Reid and The Brady Bunch) 12.7.79 defeated Central Disunited 7.6.48
Goal Kickers: N. Dragas 3, N. Ivic 3, S. Shadiac 2, T. Muecke, T. Carr, E. Bobyn, W. Lam
Best Players: T. Muecke, C. Ramsey, J. Campbell, P. Smith, R. Lang, P. Lawson-Statham
Div C1 (The Chardonnay Socialists) 11.11.77 defeated Henley-On-Drugs 8.6.54
Goal Kickers: A. Butler 5, T. Baker 2, J. Mader, B. Meier, D. Jean, S. Fulton
Best Players: A. Butler, B. Cox, S. Fulton, M. Heath, C. Rohde, A. Vallelonga
Div C3 (The B*stards) 3.1.19 defeated by Tee Hee Gully 12.9.81
Goal Kickers: E. Dadds, A. Howes, J. Cameron
Best Players: H. Ball, M. Reid, J. Cameron, D. Power, H. Mugford, T. Chalk
Div C5 (The Scum) 5.1.31 defeated by Tee Hee Gully 13.12.90
Goal Kickers: R. Gardner 2, J. Richards, T. Bernard, S. Ciccarello
Best Players: J. Richards, R. Malinauskas, H. Whyte, S. Musolino, T. Bernard, A. Karas


Div 1 (The Postie and Her Dead Letter Office Raiders) 29.18.192 defeated Giggle Farm 1.0.6
Goal Kickers: K. Harvey 8, K. Barltrop 6, S. Richardson 4, J. Edwards 3, N. Burns 2, S. Ford 2, J. Schulz, C. Tsoumbris, J. Power, L. Mauceri
Best Players: J. Edwards, W. Benson, S. Watherston, K. Harvey, J. Schulz, S. Richardson
Div 2 (Hollywood and His Rising Stars) 0.9.9 defeated by Mount Barker 6.6.42
Best Players: E. O''Dea, Z. Anthony, S. Holliday, T. Lee, J. Keipert, J. Dickie




Saturday 30th April

Black Jack & the Showgirls (Div 1) v Ugley Mercedes Jets @ Home for Horribles (Kingswood Oval) 2.15pm

Super Gav and the Budgie Smugglers (Div 1R) v Ugley Mercedes Jets @ Home for Horribles (Kingswood Oval) 12.15pm

Sexy Pimp and the C-Men (Div 7) v Ugley Mercedes Jets @ Bob Neil #1 (University Oval)  2.15pm

The Kenny Everett Video Show (Div 7R) v Ugley Mercedes Jets @ Bob Neil #1 (University Oval) 12.15pm

The Chardonnay Socialists (C1) BYE

The B*stards (C3) v Some Very Old Ignatians @ Old Folks Home (Hunter Park) 2.15pm
The Scum (C5) v Some Very Old Ignatians @ Old Folks Home (Hunter Park) 12.15pm

Teams are now listed at www.bobneil.com


Sunday 1st May

The Postie and Her Dead Letter Office Raiders (Open Women’s Div 1) v Port Adelaide @ Al & Bert’s Oval (Alberton Oval) 2pm

Hollywood and His Rising Stars (Open Women’s Div 2) v Port Adelaide @ Al & Bert’s Oval (Alberton Oval) 12pm

Player Sponsors Wanted

It's that time of year again and a few kids are still in search of a player sponsor.

If you can help out and keep an A/B grader clothed for his matches and insured if he gets injured, please contact Will 'Do the Evolution Baby' Evans at williammgevans@gmail.com


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2016 A/B Grade Guernsey Numbers

The A and B grade playing list (with Guernsey Numbers) is available here for those who have requested player numbers when attending games. There are a number of players moving in and out of these teams but we have done our best to cover most players. However, we do apologise if this is not all encompassing of the potential Div 1 playing squad.


Please send through to football@theblacks.com.au












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