And here we are. It seems like only weeks ago we were thanking the lord that the footy season was upon us, and now, as the sun starts to come out, the days warm up, and as Langers starts to slip slop slap his head, we’re at the end of another very successful season.
How do you measure AUFC’s success though?
Is it measured in the number of finals appearances by our humble football club?
Is it directly proportionate to the increase in West End sales between the months of May and September?
Is success achieved because Sam Pittman got through the year without spreading a communicable sexual disease?
Whatever way you look at it, at least 2015 has been fun. We had 7 out of 8 sides feature in the finals, with the GG’s winning the big dance last weekend by 1 point and the Chardy’s poised to win a second AUFC premiership this Saturday.
We’ve also poked a lot of fun at people. If you can’t be bothered to read through the Substandard to find the abuse (and there is a lot of it), a brief summary of it can be found below:
Reason for being ridiculed
Poor wrist durability whilst Girlfriend abroad
Adultery with all things female, male, mammal, insect & object.
General stinginess. The man is tighter than Nick Beneke’s jeans.
Having quads that launch you into an orbit around them if you get too close
Overall it’s been a hell of a year. From all of us at the Subby, we hope you’ve enjoyed reading it as much as we’ve enjoyed putting it together.
This weekend is the last game of the year- the Chardonnay Socialists taking on the Goodwood Sinners. Get down to Thebby Oval at 10am to see them jump their last hurdle before premiership success. I’m not saying they’re going to win… but put it this way. They’re not going to lose.
May Bob Be With You.
Brenton Eckert was a Blacks legend.
He played over 200 games, was a life-member, an A-grade premiership player, a loving husband to Allison, father to two fine young men Mitchell and Brayden, a loyal mate, and a terrific bloke.
Nose was around when Chocka arrived at the club. He describes a palpable atmospheric change in the ensuing years as the Blacks proudly became the social club loosely based around football it (still proudly) remains. Brenton was front and centre of this movement as the inaugural editor of Substandard. His wacky sense of humour (somewhat inevitably inherited by his two boys) and disregard for political correctness set the tone for this fine publication, and also led to some weird on-field moments. Contemporaries recall in particular the time he turned to remonstrate with the opposition ruckman, found himself face to face with the giant wharfie’s navel and in a flash judiciously decided instead to plant a kiss on the hapless fellow’s cheek.
Nose’s best mates at the Blacks were not his team-mates. He was not into that kind of elitism. The Blacks therefore suited him perfectly. He was a talented utility – tall and pointy, a little clumsy. Dangerous. And undiscerning. Opposition players and team-mates alike suffered. The nick-name speaks for itself – 2 breaks in a single season; one that admittedly probably didn’t hurt the Riverside protaganist’s fist much, and the other a training mishap that ended a team-mate’s promising career.
Brenton had the opportunity to be a match-winner late in the ’86 grand final. The Blacks were rank underdogs going in against a rampaging Riverside with a player payment budget that makes 2016’s salary cap look modest. Eckert marks and lines up from 25 out, on a slight angle. We’re down by 5 points. This to hit the lead for the first time in the match. It’s the 25 minute mark of the last quarter. Brenton’s mind turns to glory and ends up in sordid putty: a life-time of free beers and adoring women and, well…the Blacks edge just a point closer. Keg Foster sets things right, the Bob Neil chant rings out for the first time ever, and we get up. As dusk sets in Brenton ambles out to the middle of Adelaide oval, offending boot and box of matches in hand…
There are moments at the Blacks that will live with you forever. One of them was when Nose spoke at the long lunch last year, when presented with his life membership certificate. He’d had a blood tranfusion in order to make the trip from Brisbane. He knew it was likely to be his last. He spoke of the joy of playing at the Blacks, the life-long friendships, the glory of the premiership. All of which he would’ve happily surrendered, in a heart-beat, for the opportunity to be young and healthy, to walk across that stretch of green grass between the river and the grandstand and down the steps into the change-rooms, and do it all again. The message was loud and clear: Live, Blacks. Live well.
Thanks Nose, for everything. RIP Brenton, Blacks legend. Much love to Allison, Mitchell, Brayden and family from all at the Blacks.
Games this week - GRAND FINAL
Sat 26 September -Chards vs Sinners 10am @ The barton
Saturday, 10th of October
Bob Neil's Girl Guides vs. Central Australian Pinktails from 2pm at The Barton for the Around The Campfire Cup!!!
Adelaide University Football Club Presentation Dinner
Friday 16th October 2015 (6:30pm drinks for a 7:00pm start)
National Wine Centre,
Corner of Hackney Road & North Terrace
All inclusive 3 course meal & drinks
Special guest Graham Cornes
(AFL & SANFL Halls ofFame,ex Blacks Player) Dress: Cocktail
Ticket pricing is as follows: Player: $100 Player and Partner: $180 General: $120 General with Partner: $200 Purchase tickets online at http://www.trybooking.com/151951 by 9th October
Sponsored by Thesinger and Turner Travel Associates
THIS IS BOB NEIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whoever lines up on this half man half beast on saturday must have good health insurance. ING is the only insurer who insures bear attacks.
Stump is a man known to flip flop - I mean the most informed decision he's made is the margarine he has on a tuesday - thats locked in. He has however mentioned that the BLACKS are 10 times the club the sinners will ever be, because of the legend blokes and social atmosphere. Who are you supporting tomorrow STUMP? In the Chards v Sinners GF?
October 10 marks the inaugural Around the Campfire concert in Adelaide to raise awareness of Indigenous health and literacy in Australia.
The event is proudly supported by the University of Adelaide and Wirltu Yarlu Aboriginal Education Centre, Flight Centre, City of Port Adelaide Enfield, The Advertiser, Arts SA, and the Port Adelaide Football Club.
Exclusive Deal Contiki and Thesinger & Turner Travel Associates $100 discount for tours over $3000 & $200 discount for tours over $6000
Speak to Brianna or Jane today - 08 7321 1200 *Terms & conditions apply. Ask the girls for details
Also - To celebrate the deal with Contiki - Contiki and Thesinger & Turner Travel Associates are giving away a hamper including a $100 Travel Voucher, GoPro worth $300 & $100 worth of travel goods!
SUPERB SNAPS with associated Banter
Nothing puts you off your game like witty banter.
Sleep time with Body, 6PM ABC2. Tune in.
All legends Scull UDL -15 minutes into the third quarter about to go back onto the ground. His kicking approved after, booting 2 goals straight - prior 3.8.
NO ONE GETS AWAY FROM CHEWY! RRGGGGGGGRGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Set to take off Flight 919 - frequent flyer points maximised with Beilbs involved.
Hayes Knight Job Opportunity
Ex Club Captain and now CEO of great club sponsor Hayes Knight, Grant Miles, advises us that Hayes Knight is currently recruiting for Intermediate level accountants (2-5 years) due to an influx of work. Of course Mile-Hi would like to give the fine men and women of the Blacks the opportunity to apply for these roles because he knows just how upstanding you all are. If you are interested please contact Grant directly in the first instance for more detail on email@example.com or 0417 866 694.
Match Report - GIRL GUIDES GRAND FINAL
The Big Dance. That One Day in September. The Search for the Holy Grail. Whatever you want to refer to it as, Bob Neils Girl Guides were making history by competing in their first ever SAWFL Grand Final, with the game being played at The Barton against Angle Fail.
The two sides had been evenly matched throughout the season, with Angle Fail winning 3 of the 5 clashes between the sides to hold a slight advantage. But The Girl Guides had won the most recent contest, coming from behind, to run over their opponent under the bright lights at Bob Neil # 1, two weeks before in the major semi-final.
Conditions were very different for this clash between the sides to that of the semi-final. That had been a cool night, whereas the grand final would see temperatures reach close to 30 degrees, testing the fitness of all players.
With the pre-game photos and national anthem behind them, The Powermedic (Julie Power) won the toss and gave The Girl Guides the advantage of the two goal breeze in the first stanza of action. The Bush Telegraph (Stephen Baxter) had his strongest team all season on the park for this game, and this was reflected in the start, with Lovers Tiff (Tiff Lee) roving the tap of DANGER, HOT SURFACE!!! (Nicola Burns), and getting it into the waiting hands of Steven Gerrard (Fiona Clancey). Steven Gerrard didnt miss the opportunity, kicking truly, to give The Girl Guides the lead within a minute of the first bounce.
This early goal increased The Girl Guides cookie sale efforts. The Marathon Runner (Laura Kenyon) was all over her opponent, looking to make a sale, and not giving her a second make an excuse as to why she would prefer the plain Sao biscuits over the full of flavour alternatives The Girl Guides were dishing out. The Girl Guides continued to push forward, with The Pidgeon (Sofie Pridgeon) flying up and down her wing, while The Lady Red (Cassie Tsoumbris) was sweeping behind the play with poise, not allowing Angle Fail to go forward.
This set up another opportunity for The Girl Guides, with Sergeant Schulz (Jessica Schulz) commandeering the ball in her direction, before kicking truly to extend the lead. This good start slowed however, as Angle Fail started to come into the game. They pushed forward, using the ball well in possession, and getting on the scoreboard with a couple of behinds.
The pressure of the defence during this period of the game largely attributed to this inaccuracy, with Daisy Thomas (Courtney Thomas), Christmas Holliday, (Suzanne Holliday), The Meat Eating Vegetarian (Meg Wilsdon), Easter Holliday (Kym Holliday), Thommo (Thi Thy Nguyen) and The Blackberry (Natalie Newbery) all being tight on their opponents.
This defensive pressure soon paid dividends as The Hulk (Jamilla Hull) kicked long with the wind, getting the ball quickly into the forward fifty, where Stevie J (Sheron Ford) roved the pack, kicking the third goal of the term for The Girl Guides, allowing them to lead 3.1 to 0.2 at ¼ time.
The second term saw Angle Fail get a goal back early, but it was then again the turn of The Girl Guides to take control. Paging Dr Jones (Mariah Jones) was throwing herself at everything, not allowing the ball to exit the forward line without a fight, and Tuckers Daughter (Carrie Tucker) was using her height to her advantage. DANGER, HOT SURFACE!!! needed a spell after working hard in the ruck, but this allowed Paddy (Olivia McCann) to take her place, and she treated every contest like she was a leprechaun looking to protect her pot of gold.
Even with all this effort, The Girl Guides only managed to increase their score by 1 in the term, which seemed unjust after their hard work. Even more so when Angle Fail went forward late, registering their second goal, and reducing The Girl Guides lead at ½ time to one straight kick, being 3.2 to 2.2.
A much needed breather was taken by all players, as they headed to the change rooms of The Barton to take on fluids, and have any niggles looked at by Magic Hands (Ron Williams), and his able assistant for the day, Jo the Physio (Jo Richardson).
One player who was requiring this break more than most was The Meat Eating Vegetarian, who had announced her retirement prior to the game, and was giving it all her body could muster in the trying conditions. Although The Girl Guides started the third term with the wind, it was a battle of wills, with sales going dry in the extreme heat.
Listerine (Lisetta Mauceri) and Sheridan Sheets (Eloise Sheridan) were sent into the game to add some bang and silkiness to the forward line. But the arm wrestle continued. Angle Fail was first to kick a goal, vital being they were kicking into the wind, which saw them only trail by a point. It was now desperation for The Girl Guides, knowing they were up against it, with their opponent coming home with the wind, so they threw everything into it.
The Lady Red started to dominate her opponent, using safe hands to take marks like a keeper on her goal line, and also picking up the rolling ball with ease.
The Marathon Runner had reached the 30km mark, and was coming into her element, still persisting to make that vital sale to see the profit margins met for the weekend.
The Pidgeon was still flying up and down her wing, while Paging Dr Jones had brought out the clamps, shutting down any thoughts her opponent had on getting away with free medical treatment. Sergeant Schulz was being regimental in her processes, making her opponent drop and give her 20, while Thommo was like an impenetrable wall in defence, continuously finding the ball and sending it back forward. With it looking like this hard work would again result in no goals for the term, a decisive back heal from Steven Gerrard put Stevie J into an open goal. Not to be content with the easy though, Stevie J headed to the point post, swivelled onto her non-preferred foot, and check-sided the ball through the twin calicoes with nonchalance.
This play allowed Bob Neils Girl Guides to win the term by a mere point, and lead at the final break 4.5 to 3.4. The last term would be a battle to the end, and to show their support The Blacks supporters huddled around their favourite females.
The Bush Telegraph addressed the girls, urging them to give it their all, to not give up, and to lay it all on the line to meet their budget for the day. Getting the win would just be the icing on the top of the cookie. From the outset it was clear The Girl Guides were up against it. Angle Fail started the last term with the breeze, and looking the fresher team. They kicked forward and within the first five minutes had a goal on the board, seeing them trail by just a point.
It Aint Easy Being Green (Jessie Green) was released from the bench to freshen up the defence, and along with Lovers Tiff they made a stand. It was as though Angle Fail was kicking to hit them up instead of their own forward line, and then It Aint Easy Being Green and Lovers Tiff would kick it straight back to their opponent. Paging Dr Jones pushed down into defence, still refusing to allow anyone have the kangaroo hide without a serious fight, and along with The Marathon Runner, was assisting to hold their opponents out. With 10 minutes to go, it appeared The Girl Guides had broken. The hot day had drained players, with Thommo and The Meat Eating Vegetarian having given their all. The ferocious attack of Angle Fail was not giving up, and The Girl Guides finally conceded. Thankfully only a point, but that was enough to tie the scores.
Less than 5 minutes to go, and Sheridan Sheets and Listerine pushed into defence, however they were unable to stop their opponents from registering another score, putting The Girl Guides dreams behind their opponents, with them now trailing by a solitary point. 2 minutes on the clock, and it appeared as though time would get the better of the brave Girl Guides. Angle Fail had another shot on goal, this one going out on the full. Easter Holliday kicked in, and spotted up Lovers Tiff for a strong contested mark, still inside the opponents 50m.
She turned, quickly moving the ball forward to The Powermedic, who also marked strongly on the wing, playing on immediately with a handball to The Hulk, who kicked long down to a contest between Sheridan Sheets and her opponent. A good spoil from Sheridan Sheets saw the ball spill to the ground, and out of bounds for a throw in. Still 60 seconds on the clock. Ball at the interchange gate. DANGER, HOT SURFACE!!! worked the ball down to Daisy Thomas, who kicked forward to The Pidgeon, who was held without the ball. From the free she kicked forward to Steven Gerrard, but the ball spilled out into space, allowing Sergeant Schulz to run onto the free ball and kick towards goal, but missed! SCORES ARE LEVEL!!!
15 seconds on the clock when the ball is kicked back into play by Angle Fail, a grubber along the ground, but straight to Lovers Tiff! She picks up, takes too long, is tackled, but gets a boot to it.
The ball spills to The Marathon Runner, who is tackled immediately, but also gets boot to ball, the ball going into the right forward pocket, right in front of the scoreboard.
And with slow motion scenes reminiscent of Chariot of Fire, Steven Gerrard picks up the ball, brushes off an opponent, and kicks at goal with only 5 seconds left on the scoreboard clock.
The kick is a point, but it doesn’t matter. Time is up, and Bob Neils Girl Guides go down in history as the Premiers of the SAWFL for 2015, and winning their first ever Premiership! Final Scores were Bob Neils Girl Guides 4.7.31 defeated Angle Fail 4.6.30. Goal Kickers for Bob Neil’s Girl Guides were: Stevie J (2), and Sergeant Schulz and Steven Gerrard (1)
Best players for The Girl Guides were: 6th Best: Steven Gerrard, 5th Best: DANGER, HOT SURFACE!!!, 4th Best: Sergeant Schulz, 3rd Best: Thommo, 2nd Best: Lovers Tiff, But best woman on the ground, winning two jugs of Irene Neil's favourite drop, was: The Marathon Runner!!!
Message from Screech
The next game for Bob Neil's Girl Guides is against the Central Australian Pinktails on Saturday, 10th of October from 2pm at The Barton for the Around The Campfire Cup!!! With any Premiership, there are a lot of people who have contributed along the journey to reach the destination.
* Mike, Jess and Trent Turner, along with Darien O'Reilly were the driving force behind the formation of a female team at The Worlds Greatest Football Club, so we thank them for their vision, and hard work before a ball was kicked
* Tess Baxter took over in season two of The Girl Guides, and grew the team, building upon its culture from the starting point, to basically what the team is at present
* Steve Baxter took over in season three of The Girl Guides, when Tess did as all Blacks players do at some stage it seems, and disappeared overseas for travel and career development. Steve continued what Tess had started, building upon the skills, culture, and ascent up the premiership ladder to the top rung
* Kalon Green, who has been the runner of The Girl Guides for the majority of the last three season, only missing games due to game time clashes. A great effort for being hungover for 99% of the matches
* Ron Williams, for weaving his magic with the girls to make sure they missed limited games through injury, and could perform at their best on game day
* Locky Sandford, for running extra fitness and skill sessions to assist all of the girls improve their game, and also for his expert hydration of all players during games
* All of the parents, family and friends of everyone involved with the team over the journey
* Bob & Irene Neil
* And finally, but most importantly, all of the girls that have represented The Worlds Greatest Football Club in The Girl Guides over the journey, who have displayed so much passion, commitment, drinking ability and thirst to have fun, we thank you for being who you are
Netflix and MADER
20 minutes into Netflix and MADER and he gives you this look:
C-MEN POST-SEASON FESITIVITES - Quick Wrap
The day started with Max Jamo providing good areas's as he would say.
The teams selected - Fossils V Young Guns (Daniel Polkinghorne just qualified for the Fossil category)
The Fossils went home with the win, with a glorious display off "shooting" from Steaming Seagrim. All that practice....
Antics continued well after the battle. With Benny being the first casualty followed by the legendary coach Simon Ritchie, who made a few friends...
The revelry contiuned late in the night. Sunday morning at Miltons had a few suprising visitors, after months of inaccurate kicking, dan tresize finally kicked a goal.
Fancy a vino? - 3 mixed dozens for Blackers - thanks to our mates Angoves
Our friends at Angoves Family Winemakers have put together 3 fantastic mixed dozens for the Blacks. See the attached form for details, really encourage you to get involved in this as $20 from every cash sold goes straight back to the Blacks.
Are you on the lookout for a new Home Loan or possible Refinancing?
Or just want to have a no obligation chat to someone about your existing loan setup?
Then look no further than James Storer from Bank SA. They have put together a great deal for community clubs, including the AUFC, whereby 0.4% of the initial loan balance goes directly to the club.
James is a Premium Lending Manager in the North Adelaide branch who also happens to be the grandson an ex Captain of the Blacks (Robert Elix).
The A and B grade playing list (with Guernsey Numbers) is available here for those who have requested player numbers when attending games. There are a number of players moving in and out of these teams but we have done our best to cover most players. However, we do apologise if this is not all encompassing of the potential Div 1 playing squad.