VOLUME 2, 24 APRIL 2015

Well- there we have it. Round 1 has been run, and mostly won, by the multitude of AUFC teams plying their trade on a muggy Saturday afternoon.

If we wanted to let you know how the 1’s went in a cliché-riddled paragraph, we’d write something like:
The Div 1 Squad gave it a red hot crack against Rostrevor, but unfortunately couldn’t come away with the chocolates. It’ll be a big week on the track for the lads as they look to get some premiership points on the board against Sacred Heart.
But where’s the fun in clichés?
Unfortunately yes, the 1s did go down to a formidable Ross and Trevor, but there’s no shame in being beaten by a team named after Amish potato farmers. There’s also no shame in going 0 and 1 to start the year. You don’t want to peak too early. Just ask Hayley Joel Osment.

In brighter news, the Budgie Smugglers, B@stards and Scum all walked away with a win under the belt, while the C-men and the 7R’s couldn’t get the better of their arch nemesis’ Houghton.
The Chards played Goodwood Saints. ‘Nuff said.
This weekend marks an extremely important anniversary for all Australians.
ANZAC day is just a special time of year. It serves a significant purpose amongst all Australians, as we remember those brave souls who fought valiantly for this land that’s girt by sea. It also gives anyone that knows how to play a bugle their five minutes of fame.
To celebrate, AUFC will be unveiling their ANZAC plaque in between the A and B grade fixtures at Uni Oval, before a couple of speeches and of course a chilling rendition of The Last Post. Make sure you’re at University Oval on Saturday @ 1pm for a day that will not be forgotten.
Bowlies festivities will be in the Long Room this week, straight after the A-Grade match, which will tie in nicely for those going to watch Port at the Oval @ 7:10. Kane Cornes will be back from passing his fireman’s exams too, and it’s heartwarming to hear that he finally got to experience life at the top of a ladder.
It’s also worth mentioning that ex-Black and returned Soldier Graham Cornes will be performing with his band at the Union Hotel ANZAC day street party. Cornesy has personally assured us that it will be a great night out- and if the Rolling Stones can rock Adelaide on the wrong side of 90 years of age, why can’t Cornesy?

Round 3 Fixture

The superstar himself, often noted as the The Hangman has sought his plans after Football. The above is his first photoshoot for Men’s Health magazine which will propel him to the top of the game. There are also reports that this fact is a cover for his real intentions – an online catalogue of videos…….read that anyway you like. ALL THE INSPIRATION YOU NEED!

Friday 24th April

The B*stards (C2) v Pem Broke Down @ Bob Neil #1 7.10pm

Saturday 25th April

Black Jack & the Showgirls (Div 1) v Sacred Fart @ Bob Neil #1 2.15pm

Super Gav and the Budgie Smugglers (Div 1R) v Sacred Fart @ Bob Neil #1 12.15pm

Sexy Pimp and the C-Men (Div 7) v Saint Paul @ The Cathedral (St Paul’s College) 2.15pm

The Kenny Everett Video Show (Div 7R) v Saint Paul @ The Cathedral (St Paul’s College) 12.15pm

The Chardonnay Socialists (C1) v Port Red Light District @ Bob Neil #2 (Park 10) 2.15pm

The Scum (C3) v Queen Elizabeth @ The Palace (Argana Park) 2.15pm


Sunday 26th of April

Bob Neil's Girl Guides v Angle Vale @ Bob Neil #1 2pm


Blacks Look-A-LIKES

After last week’s Guy Sebastian tribute to Oscar Leonard – a committee member was approached by Elliott “Touch me I’m God” Hewish. God himself exclaimed that in fact he was a better Guy Sebastian look-a-like when he was 13, fresh after indulging in a traditional Greek meal.  Who takes the cookies? Elliott or Oscar. That is for you to decide….   

New boy to the club Aidan "I will be front row at any Indy GIG" Riley resembles the nature of that Dane Swan creature on and off the field............

On that note...There is a bloke around the club that claims he is the better looking version of Dane Swan....A face like a draw with 4 spoons.

Know of any other look-a-likes around the club? 

Please send through to football@theblacks.com.au



Round 2 Results

Div 1 (Black Jack & the Showgirls) 9.11.65 defeated by Ross & Trevor 16.14.110
Goal Kickers: K. Flanigan 3, B. Watson 2, N. Langridge 1, N. Beneke 1, B. Simpson 1, A. Alesci 1
Best Players: H. Crouch, S. Paynter, N. Beneke, A. Alesci, N. Langridge

We could not have had a better draw to the season opener of 2015 with a repeat of our away clash from round 18 with last years Grand Finallists, the ROC's.

They had some ommissions but they also had some inclusions, as did we.   We hid our best defender in Jack Grieger and our much anticipated recruit in Jack Noonan with injury and delayed the return of Brad Davis from the season opener.

Chris Black returned to our Club and did his best work in the last quarter.  Our ever reliables in Seb Paynter, Nick Beneke and Andrew Alesci were just that, magnificently reliable and Nick Langridge showed his talent.

Some good individual performances from Ben Smelt to lead our rucks, H Crouch against the competitions highest goal scorer and from Kieran Flanigan to lead our forward line merely masked the day of the one that got away. 

Our first goal of the year came direct from the opening bounce without a touch from the opposition. We regained the lead with the opening goal of the third quarter and again kicked the first goal in the final quarter to put us within 18 points but could not snatch victory with debutants Harrison Gloyne, Brett Simpson and Brad Watson all making contributions.

Home Match Heaven on Anzac Day in a twilight fixture awaits us this week against SHOC who had a narrow loss against finalist Henley in their season opener. 

Div 1Reserves (Super Gav and the Budgie Smugglers) 10.6.66 defeated Ross & Trevor 7.7.49
Goal Kickers: R. Anderson 3, J. Tronnolone 2, A. Offe 2, J. Fladrich 1, J. Connell 1, K. Green 1
Best Players: M. Quin, R. Anderson, C. Slape, K. Green, J. Watson, T. Muecke

Quality win first up for the Budgie Smugglers. The Catholic Duo threw everything they had (Bibles, crosses, rosary beads etc.) at us in the first half but the Budgie Smugglers were able to hold strong, going in to the break only 2 goals down.

The second half was somewhat anticlimactic, Ross & Trevor failing to register a goal after the 12th minute mark of the second quarter, not troubling the scorers at all in the last and in general barely making it through the steadfast defence of Jimmy 'Mader mess of it' Mader. New recruit Ryan 'Superboot' Anderson was a revelation at full-forward all day, and deservedly kicked the sealer from 55 metres out with a football that by this time resembled the size and weight of Patrick Mulvihill's head. This was despite the crowd, opposition players and eventually the umpire himself complaining that he was only pretending to have a shot on goal in order to waste time.

Big congratulations to Jordan 'Dayne Beams' Tronnolone and Aiden 'On' Offe who also kicked their first goals for the club, as well as Damon 'Crusoe' Robinson and Sam 'Lodge' Penniment who made their club debuts.

Bring on ANZAC Day!

Div 7 (Sexy Pimp & the C-Men) 6.3.39 defeated by Hout & About 9.4.58
Goal Kickers: J. Fitzgerald 2, A. Riley 1, A. Ireland 1, D. Trezise 1, A. Roberts 1
Best Players: O. Leonard, J. Calder, J. Hill, A. Riley, D. Davis, D. Gardner

It was just as well Bob provided the red cans after the game, as he also provided conditions ideally suited to the C-Men’s opponents descending from the hills to Beautiful University Oval (it’s still beautiful in the wet) last Saturday.

The team had been looking forward to first game against Out N About this year after the good results against them last year. To a degree, the game delivered. It was tough, contested, head-over-it stuff from go to woe. Punches and counter punches were thrown as both sides held the lead in the first half. There was nothing in it at half time. Just like Uni boys grow an extra leg when the sun is shining and conditions are made for running footy, the Out N Abouts grew an extra leg when the drizzle set in and turned to persistent rain. The C-Men battled like hardened veterans of country footy in the 80s in the second half but couldn’t hold off the last quarter charge from Out N About, who are actually hardened veterans of country footy in the 80s.

The character shown in fighting until the end and the lessons learned in how to play wet weather footy (Fos Williams-style get it forward at all costs) will set the C-Men up well for the season to come. Like a champion galloper, they’re better for the run.

On the upside, boom recruit Dane Swan slotted his first major for the Blacks and Blade Runner played his best game since round 2, 2013, showing that he is a biennial round 2 specialist. It’s a long between jugs courtesy of the proprietor for the Blade Runner.

It wouldn’t be a game against Out N About if there were not some actual punches thrown. As most rough and tumble in a Uni games goes, it was 18 vs 1. The C-Men have special mate at Out N About, and as per the last game at Beautiful University Oval, he was in everything. Max, the new Hazard, Jamieson got a good look at the spider tatt on his elbow and had to have surgery this week to remove some ink from his nose which will need four weeks on the side to heal. Then My Way Calder allegedly threw some retaliatory hay makers in another rumble started by old mate to earn himself a red card and a date with King Kernahan at the tribunal. Fortunately the Blacks are educated and new Club advocate Will Evans Be Good Enough was on hand to see My Way found not guilty and available for the clash against St Pauls New Socks this week. It’s a good thing too, as every other Gen Y flip flop will be at Groovin the Moo… Ah! Life at the Blacks.

Special thanks to Putto for bringing forward his return from a back injury to run the boundary and prove his fitness for Groovin the Moo this week. The request for a bye to coincide with GTM 2016 has already been made.

Div 7Reserves 2.0.12 defeated by Hout & About 18.16.124
Goal Kickers: Q. Daly 1, E. Bobyn 1
Best Players: D. Conier, W. Lam, N. Pavan, A. Vasek, C. McMichael, R. Lang
Div C1 (The Chardonnay Socialists) 8.6.54 defeated by Goodwood Sinners 11.10.76
Best Players:
Goal Kickers:

Never has a narrow loss against our arch-nemesis been met with such optimism and pride.

After a summer spent drowning the sorrows of a seven-point grand final loss to the Goodwood Sinners (and adding more definition to our rotund frames), the Chards’ first task for the new season was to kick the dew off the turf against the same foe at Sinner Stadium.

With a host of fan favourites farewelling the side to greener pastures over the preseason (with the exception of Katsy who ditched us for the Tarnished Spooners and from here on will be referred to as Clay because he is worse than Mud), there were a wealth of fresh faces champing at the bit to make their Chards debut (not to mention the welcome return of the aforementioned prodigal son Mud).

Chief among them was Harrion, who finally succumbed to Dirty's campaign of harassment and ditched his Peter Pan-like B Grade aspirations, dragging out longtime reserves talisman Malcolm Blyth for the ride. Actually, so keen was Dirty for Harrion's signature he also recruited his Mini Me and doppelganger, Nathan Mark II, the pairing proving from the outset they will be a major cause of headache for opponents.

The Chards aren't renowned for their starts, particularly when it comes to seasons (it could be argued we only really ever hit full stride come September). So we surprised even ourselves when, from the opening bounce, we started doing such outlandish things as landing tackles, 
hitting targets and running in numbers.

The hangover-free House Husband was in scene-stealing form, saving us on the last line of defence several times with some help from new Chards Dan Trading Places Akrun and Sauce Miles. 

After last year's Round 1 shellacking to the eventual wooden spoon-contending Spooners, we were happy just to still be in the match at halftime, with only traditional Chards staples such as overusing the handball and a bit of loose checking letting us down.

It was our newly anointed captain The Scary Killer who really spurred us into action after halftime. After leading from the front all afternoon (by which I mean the front of the ground where he was waving the goal flags while nursing an injured knee), he gave us an indication of the dictatorship to come by denying Harrion a beautiful snap around the body which clearly curled around the right side of the goalpost. At least the new blue-blooded MP for Chardonnay, Duk, knows he has a real job to come back to.

Big old Quag Meier began to find the footy after an uncharacteristically quiet first half and get amongst the goals (and wasn't it bloody great to hear those "yeeeeeeeeahhhs" reverberating across Goodwood after each and every one of them) while The Hyphen was back at his high-flying best finding a nice stepladder in Hank Scorpio.

We finished the term with five goals and were within a kick at the final change. We continued the momentum and booted  the first of the last, but a quick reply from the Sinners put a stop to the surge and we ran out of puff, Dirty waving the white flag before they sealed the result in junk time.

The eventual margin was 22 points, but we'd shown enough to suggest the Chards just might have the cattle to end the driest spell of Dirty's coaching career (not so sure if we can do anything about his dry spell off the park).

Best players were the House Husband, Harrion, On the Rohde Again, Butts Deep, Dan Trading Places Akrun and fellow newbie Wayward Frazer Hayward who stamped himself as one to watch down the wings. 

Div C2 (The B*stards) 16.13.109 defeated Flagon of Portland 7.6.48
Goal Kickers: S. McNeil 7, D. Gallagher 3, T. Seagrim 2, B. Collins 1, A. Howes 1, A. Chebotenko 1, M. Reid 1
Best Players: A. Buckby, B. Collins, C. Ovenden, H. Ball, A. Howes, S. McNeil
It was a Saturday in April. But not any Saturday... oh no....it was Round 2 and the first win (hopefully many more to come) for the AUFC B@stards! An ambient temperature of 14 degC coupled with light precipitation made the field somewhat slick. Conditions continued to degrade further as the game progressed with light yet persistent rain, however, the B@stards managed to prevail in the testing conditions.

Enough about the meteorological conditions and a little about our opponents: The Portland Football Club was formed from an amalgamation of some dudes and the likes of Alberton United, Ethelton, Riverside Football Clubs, yudda yudda yudda way back in 1997. It is now 2015 and Marty McFly Nikes should be here soon on a side note; yet... Portland still could not produce a team capable of dealing with the mighty uni team... by far the best you’ve ever seen... with talent... and team work.... I digress.

An elite defence marshalled by Mitchy MacIntyre, Seb “Cletus” Grey, Simon “Pew Pew Lazer” Garrett, Brado “Pinecone” Collins ensured that solid rebounds from the half back line occurred throughout the match. Good running and linking plays on the wings by Buckby and Greggy ensured that the rebounds resulted in deep forward line penetration. More often than not converted to 6 points by Red-Nut-Macca McNeil.

At half time, the B@stards decided not to get ahead of themselves (unlike on a standard Saturday night when hitting on the bartender at the Havvie) and after 3 quarter time Portland had expended all their fitness. The B@stards managed to keep running and working hard (just like a Saturday night when hitting on the bartender at the Havvie) in the declining conditions.

Looks like those damn uni-loops may have had some benefit...?
The hard yards put in over the off-season to bolster team numbers and ensure the B@stards remained “the team to play for”, resulted in an effective recruitment programme which has already seen the team begin to cohesively gel like a 2 pack quick dry resin both on and off the field.

Overall a great first win of the season on home soil enjoyed by all especially new players: Daniel “wearing that Rusby Sweater” Rusby, Brad “the 3rd Hill brother” Hill, Mick “I got sunburnt in the rain” Hodby, Will “needa nickname” Cheffirs, Artem “alphabets” Chebotenko, Miller-Owen who played his first quarter for the club... all of whom enjoyed the experience.

Special mentions to Kit “Kat Attack” Ovenden for a great full match effort in ruck supported with Howesy, Buckby and Sega-Mega Drive Seagrim, Alex Mann for some solid hits and a tackling ferocity not seen since Jimmy Tennant almost killed someone from a horizontal full body tackle circa Round 8 2010, Darcy Collett a smooth player who managed to get his hands on some ball with silky delivery skills.

Special “special” mentions to Michael “Doc/Reidy” Reid firstly for quipping half of the team in Round 1 with playing apparel and secondly for kicking a goal in his return to the B@stards big league this year. Hopefully get a few games out of this club veteran and pass on some of his knowledge. Additionally, welcome back Sammy “Macca” McNeil kicking a lazy 7 goals deep in the forwardline.

And finally, Best On Ground - winner of 2 jugs of vodka sunrise cocktails courtesy of the proprietor (vodka sunrise because according to Henry “Showbags” Lawton: “carbonation is the enemy in any vodka fury competition” is Alex “Ride Me Hard Cowboy” Buckby!

A tremendous effort all day in the centre putting in the hard yards with countless hard ball gets, tackling pressure and a genuine inspiration of what the B@stards have set out to accomplish this year.

Stats and sh!t:
Players hungover: 0 ...?!?!?! Is this a new generation? Or are the B@stards seriously considering playing finals?
Bench numbers: 7...!??!! Wow the B@stards may actually be serious about wanting to play finals.

Things to work on: voice, voice, voice and hard running.
Remember gentlemen, there is a reason why mortals want to get promoted to play for the B@stards. Men rise and fall like the winter wheat, but these names of B@stards will never die. Let them say I lived in the time of Bob Neil’s B@stards, tamer of Portland. Let them say I lived in the time of Bob Neil, victor and champion, I am AUFC YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!! 

Div C3 (The Scum) 15.10.100 defeated Hitler Youth 7.6.48
Goal Kickers: A. Howard 3, A. Beneke 3, A. Miatke 3, N. Lawrence 2, P. Malinauskas 2, A. Martinson 1, B. Green 1
Best Players: S. Lawrence, W. Legrand, M. Eisenberg, S. Philpot, D. Tofan
Bob Neil’s Girl Guides BYE


To all the blokes going to Groovin the Moo over playing Footy

Here’s a glass of cement for you to HTFU.

Craig “W@nk” Bankes on FIVEaa

As mentioned last week, Bankesy is pulling on the Green & Gold for Australia at Villers Bretonneux on Anzac Day. W@nk previews the game during the interview and provides a plethora of classic banter. The croissant eating French surely won’t get a touch. We gave them an f$%*in good hiding, we gave them........

Listen to the audio by clicking here.


The big stage, the beautiful University Oval....the scene is set.

The AUFC and AUCC invite you to join us, to honour our players that fell in WW1.

This Saturday, 25th April 2015. AUFC Vs 

An absolutely fantastic day at BOB NEIL #1. Breathtaking football to tribute those who fought bravely.

B-Grade start 1:00.

Followed by the unveiling of the plaque, speeches and Last Post.

A-Grade start  3:15.

Drinks and food available in the long room.

Presentation of the medalist (for BOG of the game) and Hold Your Bowlies will be on straight after the game in the LONG ROOM. All formalities will be completed in time for Punters to head over to the Power game on at 7.10 at Adelaide Oval.

For more details on the day, including specific start timesparking restrictions and other relevant information please click here.

ANZAC Day Memorial

We look forward to a big ANZAC Day at Uni Oval tomorrow and are very pleased to be continuing on our tradition of recent years by awarding the John Shierlaw Medal to the best University player on the ground. Once again representatives of the Shierlaw family will be on hand to present the medal.
As you may have seen in promotion for tomorrow, the Adelaide University Football and Cricket Clubs have joined together to research and develop a memorial to recognise their past players who served with the Imperial Forces during the First World War (1914 - 1918). Over the last eight months a joint sub-committee has been researching archival material held by Adelaide University, The National Archives of Australia, other WWI historical databases, team photographs and our two clubs historical records to identify footballers and cricketers from our clubs who served. Until now there has been no adequate documentation of the identities of those who served and in particular those who fell. There also has never been any recognition or memorial at University Oval and this has been a significant oversight which we are happy to belatedly correct on this most significant Anzac Day. To date the research has identified 98 AU Cricketers and 58 AU Footballers who served in some capacity in WWI.  And sadly, at least seventeen lost their lives while serving in the War.
It is proposed this Anzac Day prior to the commencement of the annual AUFC Anzac Day Match at  University Oval, that a Bronze Memorial Plaque attached to the grandstand be unveiled with wording on it that commemorates those past players who served. The information on the plaque will in addition, explain the meaning behind a proposed low white picket fence to be located adjacent to the oval grandstand which will have individual names of players who served engraved on small plaques attached to individual pickets. This new fence to be constructed in the months following the event will replace the old post and chain one between the grandstand and the scoreboard.
We will be recognising all of those who served and fell tomorrow and we are hoping to release a publication, either online or hard copy, that will provide further information on these men in due course. A Bronze Memorial Plaque attached to the grandstand be unveiled with wording on it that commemorates those past players who served. The information on the plaque will in addition, explain the meaning behind a proposed low white picket fence to be located adjacent to the oval grandstand which will have individual names of players who served engraved on small plaques attached to individual pickets. This new fence to be constructed in the months following the event will replace the old post and chain one between the grandstand and the scoreboard.
We have a presentation on all of the 17 who \lost their lives in the course of battle, which we were hoping to send around this arvo but have unfortunately been undone by technology issues. Nonetheless we are delighted that representatives of many of the families of these men will be on hand tomorrow, including Michael Blacket, the great-nephew of JW Blacket, who will be tossing the coin before the game. Lest we forget.


Presentation of the medalist (for BOG of the game) and Hold Your Bowlies will be on straight after the ANZAC DAY game in the LONG ROOM. 

All formalities will be completed in time for Punters to head over to 
the Power game on at 7.10 at Adelaide Oval.


Jimmy “The M!lf Hunter” Calder has been cleared of any maleficence after engaging in a brawl with a midget on field during last week’s game – in which he was red carded in a crucial part of the game. This fantastic result was attributed to his attorneys Lionel Hutz and Dennis Denuto – whose main argument for case and point was “it’s the vibe of the thing, the constitution”. Suggestions have been made that Jimmy’s nickname should be altered to the “The Midget Basher” but results are pending on this decision.



Bobby Neil worked a few contacts as he does and got on the phone immediately after the PM’s Scull with the World’s most unknown football club the Sydney Bats. Bob has worked a deal that the PM is to come down to “Hold your Bowlies” and scull his beverage of choice “West End with a touch of Ginger Wine” in front of packed Bowlies crowd. Bob insisted you will truly never know how to scull a beer until you have done so at HOLD YOUR BOWLIES. ​

Watch the video by clicking here. 


Get around the Blacks LinkedIn page. Your LinkedIn page may tell one story – but we know the truth….Bob has pulled you out of the Havey gutter more than once.

Click here or on the above image to get at the PAGE. 


Please send through to football@theblacks.com.au


Congrats to Wes on the amazing achievement of 300 games. Read on for a well deserved, if a little soppy in our humble opinion, tribute courtesy of some other FGA legends.

There are less than 10 players in the history of the AUFC  that have played 300+ games, but no-one else has done it in such a short/durable time of 15 years before, averaging 20 games per year. 
As a simple introduction please observe and try to comprehend the magnitude of the following incredible stats:
  • Blacks debut – 2000 (after Sturt U/19 and School PAC)
  • Main Team – FGA (VC/DVC)
  • Highest Grade – Div 1, A Grade (3 games in 2007)
  • Positions – HBF, C, CHF
  • Premierships – 7 (from 12 GF’s)
  • Games – 299
  • Goals – 322 (PB 10)
  • Club Leading Goalkicker – 2005 (65 goals)
  • AUFC B&F’s – 10 (Record)
  • SAAFL B&F’s – 9 (Record, and a 2nd, and a 3rd, so robbed of 11!)
  • Best in Finals – 3
  • Top Team Man – 1
So just to clarify:  In 13 x footy comp seasons; Wes was a part of (if not responsible for) 12 x GF’s, 7 x flags, 10 x Blacks B&F’s and 9 x League Medals.  Out of the 12 x GF’s, he was named 1st or 2nd best player in most of them as well.  Not bad for a guy who for at least 250 games out of 299 had a hard tag or double tag to deal with.
Wes’s first Blacks/FGA game in round 1 of 2000 was against Broadview @ Park 10, so game 300 @ Park 10 is fitting way to celebrate.
Wes also completed a couple of pre-seasons at Norwood in his early Blacks years, breaking the AFL Draft Camp records at the time for the 20m sprint and Agility Run…….and was pretty close in Vertical Leap, Beep Test and Core Strength tests as well….even as an old man continues to dominate Running @ Blacks Pre-Season Training year after year.
However, what most people forget is the tireless and relentless work Wesley has done and continues to do behind the scenes for the club & his team-mates.

Off-field over 15 years;
  • AUFC Committee – 3 or 4 years as Assistant Treasurer & Merchandise   Manager
  • Super Sunday & Annual Dinner Presentations Computer Nerd – 10 years
  • Hold Your Bowlies Host – various over 15 years (Crispy the Clown)
  • Assorted Social/Volunteer @ Blacks Games/Events etc – 15 years
Mastermind and chief organiser / statistician FGA Poker nights, Darts, Cricket, Golf days,  Krazy Beach Run, Crazy Horse, Vegas trips and anything else to bring his team-mates and great friends together……..And somehow finds enough time to run his successful stockbroking firm ‘Grand Private Equities’.
It is likely that Wes would have played more games with Jerk than anyone else over the years, and has probably played more games at Uni Oval than any other player (maybe apart from Jerk, and Dog).
“As impressive as Wes’s on field achievements have been I believe that his dedication to the off-field side is second to none.  If we ever get that promised global recession, he has a ready-made career in events coordination.  Keeping a close group of friends together and providing a regular forum to catch up and enjoy each-others company building those modest success stories into epics of global triumph will be an important and enduring legacy.
Darren ‘Jerk’ Graetz
 “The 25 time Malcolm Ashwood medallist has suffered a small dip in form during the later stages of his career, a period which coincided with Ashwood no longer umpiring his games”.
Congrats Wes, a great achievement to get to 300 games, a tireless contributor off field as well.
Craig ‘Uppy’ Uppington
 “A supreme analyst by vocation and of the game itself, Legrand is always quick to assist the umpires in their understanding of the endless mistakes they make.  Australian rules football contains some "grey areas” where application of the laws is subject to interpretation, of degree or timing, making the job of field umpires extremely difficult.  With a comprehensive knowledge of the rules and an almost supernatural ability to never be wrong, Legrand can constantly be heard explaining the inaccuracies of particular decisions that have gone against him.  This has endeared him to the umpiring fraternity and opposition teams alike, appreciating their increased knowledge of this great game”
Nick ‘Krazy’ Vezis
 “What do we think of Wes...?
Well, he's not the best looking bloke but exists without a trace of self-consciousness. He's not the most tolerant bloke but possesses a warm sense of inclusion. He's not the funniest bloke but immerses himself with those who are.
As for his footy, he's alright. His right foot is ordinary but his left is good. He's not very strong but he can run like the wind. His ground ball is insipid but he sure can take a hanger.
He has represented The Mighty Blacks for 299 games giving us 299 reasons to like him.
Congratulations mate on reaching 300 games for The World’s Greatest Football Club. That is something to be proud of. It's been a privilege playing with you.
What do we think of Wes...? He's alright.
Ben ‘ Lazy’ Vezis

The best way to summarize Wes is the fact that he wanted to play his 300th in the Greys so old mates can play with him. Wes’s greatest joy is being part of, and celebrating, the success of his mates, and above all spending time with the best mates he has in life, all from the Blacks.
We all raise a glass to one of the ‘Blacks All-Time Legends’……Wesley #42 Legrand
Full Name: Wesley Crispington Legrand
Club Nickname:  Michel (for all those wondering over 15 years, Chocka’s favourite French composer - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michel_Legrand)
Age: Height: Weight: 36 : 185cm : 78kg
AUFC Debut: Guernsey #: 2000 : 42
Games Played: Goals Kicked: 299 : 322 (+ 700 behinds)
Junior Footy Club: School: Sturt U/19 : Prince Alfred College
Blacks Premierships? 7 FGA (2000-03, 2006, 2009-10)
Describe yourself as a footballer (In 37 words or less): Doesn’t like getting muddy or wet, a sandbagger who wears the hard tags and bad umpiring decisions on behalf of his team so that the rest of the team can win jugs… while I get sent off!
Favourite Movie: Actor: Blade Runner : Arnold Schwarzenegger
Favourite Player Nickname: ‘Looks like Tarzan, Plays like Jane’ (Brenton Clarke, TOP BLOKE!)
Favourite Song: ‘Shout’ (Tears for Fears)
Favourite Quotation: “That which does not kill us, makes us stronger” (Nietzsche)
Least Favourite Opposition Club: Most north of Grand Junction Rd as it requires game-day immunization and passports, but especially Paralowie
Football/Sporting Superstitions: Always buy Rulebook a beer after the game, but before the votes
Be nice to umpires, especially after they send you off for abuse J
When you were 16, what poster did you have on the back of your bedroom door? ‘Inside Sport’ & ‘Ralph’ model Kerry Lucas (who, for the new generation of Blackers, I later married for the purpose of donating her as Hold Your Bowlies raffle chick on many occasions)
Favourite AFL Club: Player: Adelaide Crows : Peter Matera
Of the AUFC players you have played with which Player is? (Must not answer with yourself).
Angriest Elbows:
Most Injury Prone:
Best Uppington:
Most Time in Mirror:
Opp. Leader’s Pet: 
Worst Haircut:
Most Courageous:
Widest Playing:
Worst Handballer:
Worst Kick:
Best Kick & Captain:
List Brothers in FGA:
Coach Richard Foster (Master Tactician, or was that really Amber?)
Wayne Abrey (not dumb but everyone else is just a bit smarter)
Mark Fitzgerald (even we avoided him at training for fear of injury)
Gary Krievs (genuinely robbed of 5 JT Goose Awards)
Damien Coats (Coats’em in Saliva)
Michael Aplin & Nick McLeod (strapped up like Egyptian mummies)
Craig (by default ‘cos Scott split to the Sinners)
Benjamin Vezis (that $hit doesn’t just happen)
Nicholas Vezis (Toy Boy)
Ray O’Donnell (sporting Mohawk and Viking beard, at same time!)
Andrew Budimir (bravest bounce in football history, and paid for it)
Jon Mallon (blonde), Jon White (brunette) & Shayne Shep (ranga)
Darren Graetz (work it out)
Michael Bird (his handballs broke fingers and/or winded people)
Cameron Maher (couldn’t kick over a jam-tin)
Stuart Clark (far too good a bloke to barrack for Collingwood)
Uppington, Clark, Vezis, Hochman, White, Fitzgerald, Newton, Beilby, Heaslip, Hogg, Reid, Smibert (many likely seeded by Jerk)
Best sledge you’ve received: From my own team-mate Ben ‘Lazy’ Vezis at Hold Your Bowlies, buys me a Baileys & Milk (in return for assisting his 19 goals) and says to the hot bar chick; “And a straw please for my lady friend”
Favourite/Best Player seen at the Club & Why: Jamahl ‘Bewey’ Waddington – played like a white man above the waist and a black man below the waist, the only player I’ve ever seen do ‘everything’ easier with 1 hand than 2…
Favourite Club Songs: Scum Song, Euphajism, Green Ginger Wine, You’re a Black
Ask yourself a question and answer it: Q - Why is Gary Krievs called “Corner Boy” and “8-Ball”?
A - What happens on a Footy Trip, stays on a Footy Trip… until it starts growing on you… and requires medical attention…
Wes’ 300th will be played this Sunday at Bob Neil # 2, which will coincide with the FGA family reunion day. The Uni Greys game will start @ 12:30pm so again all most welcome to play, the more the merrier, and so far we have cameos from multiple premiership stars Maher Baker, Yuppy Uppy, The Jerk, Lazy, Krazy, Gus Grievs, Bewey, Aplin Turnover, Sugar Ray and even the Foss and Shep considering some goalsquare action, so get amongst it!
Plenty of FGA/Blacks families coming too for a picnic, BBQ, playground and general frolic.

The TEAMS for the Weekend.

*PS we endeavour to be perfect, but the teams may not be up by the time you receive this email. Click to view.

Black Jack & The Showgirls​

SuperGav & the Budgie Smugglers

Sexy Pimp & his C-Men

Cal Reid's Team Needs a Name

The Chardonnay Socialists

The B@stards


Round Date Opponent Venue
1 18/04/15 Rostrevor OC Cambelltown Memorial Oval
2 25/04/15 Sacred Heart OC University Oval
3 02/05/15 Portland Port Reserve
4 09/05/15 Henley University Oval
5 16/05/15 Salisbury North University Oval
6 23/05/15 Payneham NU Payneham Oval
7 30/05/15 Tea Tree Gully University Oval
8 13/06/15 Goodwood Saints Goodwood Oval
9 20/06/15 Port District Largs Reserve
10 27/06/15 Rostrevor OC University Oval
11 11/07/15 Portland University Oval
12 18/07/15 Henley Henley Memorial Oval
13 25/07/15 Salisbury North Salisbury North Oval
14 01/08/15 Payneham NU University Oval
15 08/08/15 Tea Tree Gully Pertaringa Oval
16 15/08/15 Goodwood Saints University Oval
17 22/08/15 Sacred Heart OC Sacred Heart Senior College
18 29/08/15 Port District University Oval










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