When I was a young tacker, my Mum always used to come up to me with an uneasy look on her face. “Do you want the good news, or the bad news?” She’d say, with a forlorn look on her face that basically yelled at me ‘you don’t want either, kiddo.’
Well, the bad news this week? Wayne ‘Screecher’ Abrey will be attending Blacks Ball.
The good news? The majority of AUFC players are not female, and can boogie down without fear of what’s lurking in the shadows. Bad luck Girl Guides.
Speaking of the Girl Guides, an odd thing happened this week. When something happens so frequently, you begin to take it for granted.
Think Hawthorn winning the flag. Think a Gold Coast player racking up a line of the North-East’s purest. Think Rulebook taking all $13.20 of shrapnel from your wallet at Bowlies just to bestow you with one measly raffle ticket that will never ever win anyway.
This week, the Girl Guides LOST.
Yep. You read that correctly. Lost. Bob Neil’s first ladies have been stellar this year, and are in prime position to snatch a premiership. I’m sure inspirational team leader Wayne Abrey will give them a rocket up the ass during the week and get them back on track. They’ll be hoping that the rocket is purely metaphorical, mind you.
Midweek, the C-men had their annual Dumpling Devouring Duel. Rather than give you a rundown of the evening, notable individual efforts are documented below.
Dan Trezise: Fell a miniscule 10 dumplings short of his 60 dumpling target. Had to be carried home on a sack track. Has a lot of work to do before Saturday to make sure his abs are in good shape for the C grade strapper.
Tom Milton: Stopped eating Dumplings after realizing that the broth was not in fact alcoholic. Left shortly after.
Simon Ritchie: His evening mirrored his usual sentiments at Team Selection. He arrived late, complained about how everyone else had more dumplings than him, asked Darren Holst if he could eat have some of the B@stards dumplings once they were done with them, and then spent hours stressed over how most of his dumplings had leg injuries and wouldn’t be able to run the boundary for his fully-fit dumplings.
This weekend there’s more Bob Neil Approved SAAFL matches to sink your teeth into. The A’s and B’s are at home on BN#1, while there’s plenty of lower grade matches over on Park 10 if you want to see how the everyman plays football.
If you want to see a team from Salisbury play happy families for 2 hours, get to Park 10 to watch the B@stards at 2:15. The game was meant to be out in the sticks, but due to disciplinary reasons, Salisbury had to forfeit the home game. They’re meant to be on their best behavior, so make sure you go out and heckle them from the boundary knowing they can’t do anything about it. It’ll be like taking candy from a baby… if that baby were heavily tattooed, slightly overweight and drove a forklift for a living.
May Bob Be With You.
Dates - Long Lunch 7 days away - RSVP today!
Well we have two of the biggest events of the Blacks calendar within the next 8 days. On Friday the 7th is the Long Lunch and the 8th is Blacks Ball. By and large a different demographic aside from from those ageless warriors who transcend such unwarranted barriers. Or the Gen Y kids who come along hoping for one more Action Man rendition.
The Long Lunch details, to keep in a tight snapshot are:
7 August, Midday at AU Boat Club
Speakers Plug Harcourt & Sticks Phillips
MCs Clint Rule and Tom Martin
All you can eat and drink, songs, auctions and plenty of time for random catch ups
Long room open afterwards
RSVP to email@example.com or call Book on 0414 678 815
You will find more details for the lunch including payment details here. Should be another cracking afternon so don't miss out.
Once these are done we are down to a select few remaining events for your diary. For Super Sunday just keep every Sunday free from the 30th of August to the 27th of September - easy enough.
16 August - Melbourne Reunion Day (venue TBA, please RSVP to Book) 29 August- Family Day A Sunday - Super Sunday 16 October- Annual Dinner (Wine Center)
Blacks Ball - August 8th - ALMOST SOLD OUT!
Tickets selling fast, numbers are limited - get in ASAP before you miss out!
The Prohibition Blacks Ball
Due to past concerns, this year’s event will be completely dry*, but come along for some good sober times.
*except for the beer, cider, wine and $5 cocktails we will be serving on the down low, don’t tell the Feds!
Click attending on the Facebook event to receive all the updates regarding this event.
WHERE: The Dom Polski Centre, 230 Angas St, Adelaide
WHEN: Saturday August 8th, from 7pm
DRESS: Swinging 20's, Boardwalk Empire, The Great Gatsby
Don't be that lad/lass that misses out.
Or Physical Tickets available from the following players - BRING CASH TO TRAININGS
Brad Green Dan Weekly Will Evans Ashley Ireland Courtney Thompson
Round 16 Fixture
Saturday 1st August
Black Jack & the Showgirls (Div 1) v Payneham Goonians @ Bob Neil #1 2.15pm
Super Gav and the Budgie Smugglers (Div 1R) Payneham Goonians @ Bob Neil #1 12.15pm
Sexy Pimp and the C-Men (Div 7) BYE
Robert Reid and the Brady Bunch (Div 7R) BYE
The Chardonnay Socialists (C1) v A Broad’s View @ Prostitute Park (Broadview Oval) 12.15pm
The B*stards (C2) v Salisbury NSE&W @ Unemployment Park (Salisbury North Oval) 2.15pm
The Scum (C3) v Seaton Trams @ Bob Neil #2 12.15pm
Sunday 2nd August
Bob Neil’s Girl Guides v Morphettville Park @ Graham Kellett Reserve (Kellett Reserve) 3pm
If Daniel "Seagull" Polkinghorne did not have a face for radio, he would match Ryan Seacrest in witty banter and surely would got a gig as the jealous boyfriend on gilmore girls. The man is never quiet in the changerooms, always has that cheeky smile on his face. Nevertheless, your a legend polkas!
The man can play football there is no doubt. But ask him what day it is, you may get a mixed response. According to the great man game day is Saturday between 2:30-3:30am.
The backroom at the yours truly (HAVEY) from 6:30pm.
Note to Sponsors
Bob Neil, Chocka Members and Player Sponsors, your merchandise available for collection at Uni Oval once again this Saturday. If you get to Bob Neil # 1 and see Mr and Mrs Rulebook be sure to give them a shout out as they are both celebrating their 84th birthdays this weekend, which includes over 50 with Malcolm, so a fair effort that.
Adelaide University Students - Help AUFC funding
It’s that time of the year again, the Adelaide University Student Services and Amenities Fee (SSAF) survey is due by 2/8/15. In determining how the SSAF should be spent each year, the University is interested in understanding student priorities. If you are a student you can have your say by completing the survey through Unified: https://unified.adelaide.edu.au/group/unified/ssaf
Now this is where we would like your help. Please promote to any UofA student and we of course would hope that they select (where possible) AU Sport activities such as sport clubs, sport facilities, sport events etc
Round 15 Results
Div 1 (Black Jack & the Showgirls) 12.8.80 defeated by Salisbury NSE&W 13.9.87
Goal Kickers: Josh Willis 5, Andrew Alesci 2, Bradley Watson 2, Sam Penniment 1, Harry Wellington 1, Brodie Borg 1
Best Players: Damian Cunningham, Josh Willis, Bradley Watson, Brodie Borg, Andrew Alesci, Thomas Walker
Div 1Reserves (Super Gav and the Budgie Smugglers) 13.13.91 defeated Salisbury NSE&W 6.6.42
Goal Kickers: E. Hewish 3, R. Anderson 2, K. Green 2, D. Robinson 2, P. Dolan , A. Offe , J. Johnston , J. Dearing
Best Players: , J. Watson , D. Robinson , B. Simpson , C. Slape , T. Muecke
Div 7 (Sexy Pimp & the C-Men) 18.16 defeated Mitchell Car Park 9.10
Goal Kickers: D. Davis 5, A. Ireland 3, D. Trezise 3, C. Reid 2, A. Ireland 2, B. Hopkins , T. Milton , F. Hayward
Best Players: , J. Cmrlec , D. Davis , J. Hill , D. Trezise , A. Ireland , D. Gardner
Div 7Reserves (Robert Reid and the Brady Bunch) 6.6.42 defeated by Mitchell Car Park 8.10.58
Goal Kickers: S. Kesic 3, P. Wareing 2, T. Nguyen
Best Players: , T. Nguyen , D. Conier , C. McMichael , S. Kesic , J. Greeneklee , M. Makin
Div C1 (The Chardonnay Socialists) 18.17.125 defeated Max Walker Ville 2.3.15
Goal Kickers: B. Meier 6, J. Richards 3, C. Lane 3, C. Rohde 2, S. Parente , D. Blyth , D. Arkun , B. Cox
Best Players: , C. Schiller , N. Hallion , C. Rohde , B. Meier , D. Arkun , Z. Hambour
Div C2 (The B*stards) 15.17.107 defeated Gays Are Great 2.3.15
Goal Kickers: B. Collins 3, C. Gregg 2, T. Seagrim , S. Henderson , D. Collett , N. Whelan , H. McCullough , H. Jamieson , B. Larsen-Smith , J. Van Reesema , A. Bate , A. Di Silvio
Best Players: , A. Bate , F. Jamal , S. Gray , H. Woods , B. Collins , T. Seagrim
Open Women’s Div 2 (Bob Neil’s Girl Guides) 1.2.8 defeated by Angle Fail 5.10.40
Goal Kickers: N. Burns
Best Players: C. Tsoumbris , N. Burns , S. Holliday , C. Thomas , C. Tucker , L. Kenyon
Match Report of the Week
Div C3 (The Scum) 10.11.71 defeated Colonel Light’s Garbage 9.7.61 Goal Kickers: Best Players:
It was a pretty forgettable game on a freezing cold day on a poo coloured oval that saw an average team challenge the finals credentials of the scum. Being a late game Colonel Light Gardens seemed to put an endless stream of B graders through the side as game wore on and their performance improved as a result. So much so they nearly got the chocolates but in the end the Scum's answer to Ollie Wines was the difference with Deano slotting 4 goals including the sealer in the last minute.
In the absence of inspirational words these images help to tell the story of the game;
A young supporter not looking forward to Ben's pre-game address
Elite level pre match preparation Rulie style
The coaches' pre match preparation prop
In the end a win's a win and the scum should press for a top 3 finish and a double chance.
Better players included; Rob Octopus Mally, Dracula, Sammy smack me Lawrence, Tim which way did he go Dean but best afield was the agitator Tofe Goal kickers: Wilkins, Pumpkin gardener and Crazy Vezis 1, hot footed Rule 3 and Deano 4
For all other Match Reports visit the Bob Neil Website:
Pride is something we normally see on the football field, but one man takes it to the fashion realm. Rumour is, hours of brainstorming and mental effort is put in for an outfit to come into life. The comments from the great man in relation to the below outfit was along the lines off “I just come from Chappel street Melbourne, call me the prince of chappel”. This statement was in fact true, coming off a 4 day bender exploring the nether regions of Melbourne's nightclubs.
Get around Chad Mclaren
New Blacks Fitness Coach and all round nice guy, Chad Mclaren, is doing a great job as the Program Director for the Concert below. We would encourage the Blacks community to show their support for what is a great cause and get along if at all humanly possible.
Flick of the Week
Club young gun and favourite Jacko 'Pretty Boy' Dearing hit town with some team mates after Bowlies last week. In an impressive effort he proved that even established womanizer Elliot Hewish wasn't as adept at fraternising with the opposite sex as he was. Jacko now has the task of choosing one out of the multitude of girls to pursue romantically.
A/B Grade Guernsey Numbers
The A and B grade playing list (with Guernsey Numbers) is available here for those who have requested player numbers when attending games. There are a number of players moving in and out of these teams but we have done our best to cover most players. However, we do apologise if this is not all encompassing of the potential Div 1 playing squad.