VOLUME 31, 20 MAY 2016
SUBSTANDARD #31

Welcome to another solid weekend of Blacks footy. After winning 6 out of 9 last week the powers that be have sweet talked the Havelock into putting on another SUPER BOWLIES this Saturday night. With co-hosts Rocky Austin, Colin Girth and West End taking control, this ensures to be a stomper of a night so get there early so you don't miss out!
 
A good Bowlies depends on good results so lets see which legions of unwashed masses the respective University teams are up against this week:
 
The Chardonnays and the A+B Grade teams are in the unenviable position of travelling to Mordor to face Salisbury NSE&W with a triple header at Unemployment Park. Luckily for the A Grade Salisbury NSE&W have severed ties with the Finks after a certain someone was banished from their club – they have now guaranteed the SAAFL that only 17 A Grade players have any connection to outlaw motorcycle gangs, bringing them into line with the rest of the amateur league clubs based north of Grand Junction Road.
 
The B@stards and the Scum don't fare much better with travel arrangements this week, venturing out to the Mud Heap at Mudbury to face a fiercely competitive Mudbury side. After the UFC bouts football matches that the B@stards and Scum endured against No Hope Valley last week, both squads have been decimated due to the (understandable) fear of not wanting their teeth smashed out whilst trying to play a game of low-grade footy. Fear not however, as Paddles has been permanently banned from umpiring any form of sporting competition ever again and has been replaced by someone with a set of balls.
 
Robert Reid and the Sexy Pimp take home ground honours this week, coming up against cross-town "rivals" Karl Marx University who are reported to be bringing Greens MP Sarah Hanson-Young along as part of their Marxist cheer squad in promotion of the Greens' election campaign. The canteen ladies have been forewarned and have stocked up on 'cruelty-free' pies accordingly.
 
Turning to the unfair sex, Hollywood and His Rising Stars are playing a night-game against the Western Suburbs at Fawk Reserve with kick-off scheduled at 7pm Saturday night. I bet the Rising Stars can't wait to race back to the Havey and mingle with the rest of the club under the influence several hours of free West End. The Postie and her Office Raiders battle the Westerners on Sunday at City Mazda Stadium at 1:30pm and should run this game out strongly after carb-loading at the Havey the night before. Steer clear of the Superdry ladies, West End is what winners drink.
 

Snippets of Grey


Big day for the Greys, and some Blacks, at the Long Lunch last Friday. As always lots of great snaps taken by Damo Leonard, so see his webpage for all of them.

Thanks all for attending and raising some money for Bewey and the fantastic Captain Courageous Foundation. For those that still want to contribute further please see more information regarding the Foundation and how to do so below.
 

Captain Courageous & Gift for Gab – A Call to Donation Arms

At the Blacks we love top blokes, and one of our very toppest blokes is in need. As Long Lunchers heard last week, the 13 year old daughter of 5-time Blacks Premiership legend Jamahl “Bewey” Waddington suffers from a rare bone marrow failure disease called Diamond-Blackfan Anemia (DBA), whereby her bone marrow fails to produce red blood cells, causing anaemia. DBA sufferers are mostly blood transfusion dependent to stay alive, and this reliance can generally not be tolerated by DBA sufferers for long past early adulthood. Please see a 2 minute video here to learn more about what life has been like for Bewey’s precious daughter Gabrielle.
 
Fortunately the incredible work of the Captain Courageous Foundation (website here) has driven amazing progress in the field, such that clinical trials of a new drug are possible this year, and this drug may also provide treatment for other blood diseases such as Leukaemia, but more research dollars are needed. Therefore, in order to raise money, Bewey naturally decided to travel almost 250km from Coffs Harbour to Byron Bay… by foot… in a week! This “Gift for Gab” took place from April 17th to 23rd, and it’s fair to say Bewey’s feet haven’t forgiven him in a hurry. Please enjoy a 5 minute video here, documenting Bewey’s labour of love for his daughter.
 
Bewey’s original target was $20,000, however to date he’s raised well over $30,000, and with the support of the unrivalled Blacks and Greys community, hopefully we can push the sum raised to $40,000. Any contribution at all is greatly appreciated indeed, and donations to Bewey’s “Gift for Gab” can be made here.
 
Thankyou.
 
 

Blacks Wine Drive

I'm very happy to announce the commencement of the Blacks Wine drive for 2016, proudly supplied by and sponsored by Angoves Family Winemakers. Angoves have put together two wines available by the half/dozen, being the 2014 Cross Stitch Shiraz Cab Sav and the 2014 Vineyard Select Cab Sav, both at a price of $70 for the 1/2 dozen or $11.67 for the Maths Science students. Both an outrageous bargain for your winter quaffing wine and best of all a substantial amount of every case sold goes back to the Blacks. Gordo, Howie, Beilbs and Bridgy got together recently to sample a glass....a few hours later and half a case consumed they were very happy to attest to the quality. Click here for the form to get your orders in.


Reunions and Upcoming Grey Events

Some big events on the horizon, including the courageous, tough and uncompromising 96 Div 1 team who will be celebrating at Uni Oval next Saturday the 28th, before descending on HYB.

Then we have Ladies Day on the 4th of June, followed by reunions for the 2006 losing Scum Grand Finalists and the premiership winning Div 1 reserves team, 3 Phase Rhigas & the Socket To Me's. Put it in the diary.

Hold Your Super Bowlies


Super Bowlies - 6.30 start - upstairs at the Havelock

$20 gets you in – super dry, west end and cider. 

Rocky Austin hosting with a special guest from the B@stards
 

Match Report of the week

Budgie Smugglers get over Goodwood


It was a perfect day for footy at the unsaintly home of Goodwood oval, even though the blacks had started badly before the first bounce had even been thought about.
Deng was lost in the northern suburbs, Biggsy forgot the carton after a late report, and in the warmup the goody saints boys decided it would be a good idea to start their kicking drills at the same end we had begun our goal kicking drill. Was not looking good for the Uni boys.
 
With a 3 goal breeze in favour of the saints, they took the opportunity and dashed out to a steady lead. Despite this the Blacks boys battled hard to stay within reach. Biggsy winning all the taps, the midfield lead by Pitto staying strong against a classy saints outfit. Both defensive and offensive players battling hard at their respective ends.
 
The next 2 quarters played out very much like the first, and up and down affair, with the saints being up by 3 goals coming into the last. 
 
The last quarter was all the blacks!
 
Young Toby was using the full effect of the breeze when kicking out, regularly hitting the centre square, and even sailing one thru at the other end! The saints boys kept on missing into the wind and the uni rebounding was amazing, bringing the score back to 2 points up.
But it took the human glow stick (patty doolan) to slot a goal from a Hewish assist to seal the win.
Special mentions to ben sanders who did the quickest sprint of his life right in front of Craggy before the final siren, next week he is pencilled in.

Elliot Hewish was abhorrent in his role as captain, getting more rubs than kicks and at one point tried to get Jim Connell to lead over a 100m so he could waltz in behind him. Luckily the on field leadership role was taken over by the self described 'big les show' Mick Leslie running himself ragged and leading by example.
 
 
But a very deserving win by the boys. Each member did their role beautifully, even though it took a couple quarters to refine it. 2 in a row, going for 3 and beyond, look out end of the year.

P.s. After the last two games where the Smugglers have been trailing heading into the last and then ended up winning there is a bit of a push to change their name to ‘Super Gav and the Finishers – We also play football too’

JP 60 Second Rapid Fire


Listen to Head Coach JP stitch up Benny Sanders and a few others in this classic interview.

https://soundcloud.com/sa-amateur-footballer-live/div-1-60-second-rapid-fire-with-john-paynter-adelaide-university/s-1NFn5

Daniel Currie 100 Games


Dan Currie celebrates his 100th Game for the blacks in the B@stards this weekend, all the while managing to play 7 games for the Gold Coast Suns - pretty indicative of how poor Gold Coast are this year, you would almost prefer to support Richmond.... almost.
 

Lookalikes


Unlike his game day performances, the amount of pomade in E Dadds' hair rises to the occasion. No surprise that last Friday we saw peak Daddsy in the presence of Bob Neil himself. He was soon brought back to earth when Craggy facilitated the shattering realisation he has been swag jacking Ricky Martin.
   
Sledges of the Week

Hugh 'Stiffy' Woods

In the time-honoured tradition of playing arrogant Uni footy, Hugh 'Stiffy' Woods has delivered one of the best sledges this year whilst playing against No Hope Valley last weekend.

Stiffy was playing on a No Hoper that was missing a hand and will be referred to from here on out as 'Forrest Stump'. Forrest must have been having a good day because he turned to Stiffy in the last quarter and berated him for being out-marked all game by a bloke with only one hand.

Without missing a beat Stiffy came back with the retort: "Yeah but...I've had more handballs."

Needless to say the No Hopers didn't take too kindly to such razor sharp wit and responded in typical No Hope fashion with numerous threats on Stiffy's life. 

SAPOL have already been contacted to provide Stiff with a police escort for when the B@stards host the No Hopers at Park 10 later this year.
 

Tom '2 bucks' Milton
 

Ahead of the C-grade game tomorrow against Flinders Uni, Tommy 2 bucks has thrown a bomb at Flinders Uni students, speaking some real truth with dank memes. Flinders is no ones first choice, in universities and football clubs.
 


 

Results

 

Men

Div 1 (Black Jack & the Showgirls) 13.7.85 defeated by Goodwood Sinners 14.10.94
Goal Kickers: A. McIntyre 3, B. Simpson 3, W. Paynter 2, J. Dearing, L. Antoniadis, D. Robinson, L. Roach, A. Offe
Best Players: W. Paynter, S. Paynter, N. Beneke, B. Simpson, A. McIntyre, D. Bateman
 
Div 1R (Super Gav and the Budgie Smugglers) 8.9.57 defeated Goodwood Sinners 7.7.49
Goal Kickers: E. Hewish 3, P. Dolan 2, M. Murdock, T. Maughan, S. King
Best Players: H. Biggs, T. Maughan, S. Pittman, M. Swift, M. Leslie, L. Parker

Div 7 (Sexy Pimp and his C-Men) 22.11.143 defeated Payneham-in the Ar5eGoons 5.6.36
Goal Kickers: J. McGowan 4, D. Polkinghorne 3, T. Baker 3, S. Hutton 3, J. Fitzgerald 2, C. Mintz 2, C. Desmet, S. Nankivell, T. Vickery, T. Milton, J. Cmrlec
Best Players: T. Milton, S. Hutton, P. Pedler, S. Bondio, T. Baker, C. Mintz
 
Div 7R (Robert Reid and The Brady Bunch) 11.8.74 defeated Payneham-in the ar5e 6.11.47
Goal Kickers: G. Kearsley 4, T. Muecke 2, S. Shadiac 2, N. Dragas 2, J. Campbell
Best Players: T. Muecke, J. Campbell, G. Kearsley, D. Mates, L. Wallis, J. Davies
 
Div C1 (The Chardonnay Socialists) 8.6.54 defeated by Goodwood Sinners 11.15.81
Goal Kickers: M. Stuart 4, D. Blyth 2, N. Noack, B. Meier
Best Players: R. Doecke, S. Rynne, D. Byrne
 
Div C3 (The B*stards) 6.8.44 defeated by No Hope Valley 10.8.68
Goal Kickers: H. Woods 2, E. Verco 2, D. Power 2
Best Players: T. Chalk, T. Bell, E. Verco, P. Lawson-Statham, D. Power, N. Tran
 
Div C5 (The Scum) 18.24.132 defeated Hannibal Hectorville 2.1.13
Goal Kickers: T. Turner 5, A. Howard 4, N. Venning 3, J. Richards, S. Ciccarello, S. Lewis, R. Gardner, T. Russell, A. Beneke
Best Players: A. Howard, A. Trevarrow, M. Varvounis, P. O''Leary, J. Richards, B. Green
 

Women

Open Women’s Div 1 (The Postie and Her Dead Letter Office Raiders) 10.11.71 defeated Gangreen Acres 4.3.27
Goal Kickers: K. Barltrop 4, S. Ford 3, K. Harvey, R. Wallace, N. Burns
Best Players: W. Benson, J. Edwards, N. Burns, K. Barltrop, K. Harvey, C. Tsoumbris
 
Open Women’s Div 2 (Hollywood and His Rising Stars) 4.4.28 defeated by Christies Beach 5.6.36
Goal Kickers: S. Blight 2, N. Collie 2
Best Players: E. O''Dea, S. Pridgeon, N. Collie, S. Holliday, J. Dickie, B. Corver
 

Fixture

 

Men's

 

Saturday 21st May


Black Jack & the Showgirls (Div 1) v Salisbury NSE&W @ Unemployment Park (Salisbury North Oval) 2.15pm

Super Gav and the Budgie Smugglers (Div 1R) v Salisbury NSE&W @ Unemployment Park (Salisbury North Oval) 12.15pm

Sexy Pimp and the C-Men (Div 7) v Karl Marx University @ Bob Neil #1 2.15pm

Robert Reid & the Brady Bunch (Div 7R) v Karl Marx University @ Bob Neil #1 12.15pm

The Chardonnay Socialists (C1) v Salisbury NSE&W @ Unemployment Park (Salisbury North Oval 10.15am

The B*stards (C3) v Mudbury @ The Mud Heap (Modbury Sports Reserve) 2.15pm
 
The Scum (C5) v Mudbury @ The Mud Heap (Modbury Sports Reserve) 12.15pm
 

Teams are now listed at www.bobneil.com
 

Women's


Saturday 21st May


Hollywood and His Rising Stars (Open Women’s Div 2) v Western Suburbs @ Hawk on Your Fork Reserve (Fawk Reserve) 7pm

 

Sunday 22nd May


The Postie and Her Dead Letter Office Raiders (Open Women’s Div 1) v West Adelaide @ City Mazda Stadium 1.30pm

Entertainment Book

 
This year the Mighty Blacks will be fundraising with the Entertainment Book. The books are $65 each ($13 of this goes towards the club/team as a fundraising component).
 
Each team has a designated fundraising site (refer to links below). Share with your friends, family, neighbours, work colleagues, drinking buddys and tinder (or grinder – we don’t judge) dates. Funds raised go directly to the team/Club.
 
Bob Neil has used his scientific calculator that he only needs to sell 4 books to get a carton of South Australia’s finest and a bottle of Green Ginger Wine!
 
Last year the Chards raised over $300 selling the book, which was donated to Dirty.
 
For those of you that don’t know the book it is filled with plenty of 2-4-1 deals and 25% off vouchers for clubs and bars across Adelaide. With places like The Havey, The British, The Kentish, Zambrero and Burger Foundary you’ll be sure to make you money back.
 
Here is a Flick Book that you can look through so you can see all the vouchers: https://issuu.com/epaau/docs/adelaide_2016-2017?e=16038615/33205593
 
These are the teams and club link below, you need to click on the team/club link dependant on who you want to support. It’s definitely worth sharing these payment pages:
 
Adelaide University Football Club: http://www.entbook.com.au/9294r35
A & B Grade: http://www.entbook.com.au/92z8709
C & D Grade: http://www.entbook.com.au/9294w34
Chardonnay Socialists: http://www.entbook.com.au/927j028
The B@stards: http://www.entbook.com.au/9x29437
The Scum: http://www.entbook.com.au/927j028
Girl Guides: http://www.entbook.com.au/92p8943
 
If you want a book they can be brought to training or delivery can be organised to a home or office. If you buy digital it is uploaded onto your phone and is able to use immediately, it’s definitely the way to go.
 
Any queries, please see contact Chardonnay Socialist, Anthony ‘Drop Bear’ Vallelonga on 0403 583 735.

Player Sponsors Wanted


It's that time of year again and a few kids are still in search of a player sponsor.

If you can help out and keep an A/B grader clothed for his matches and insured if he gets injured, please contact Will 'Do the Evolution Baby' Evans at williammgevans@gmail.com

BLACKS SOCIAL MEDIA


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Get around the Blacks LinkedIn page. 


Click here to get at the PAGE. 
 

2016 A/B Grade Guernsey Numbers


The A and B grade playing list (with Guernsey Numbers) is available here for those who have requested player numbers when attending games. There are a number of players moving in and out of these teams but we have done our best to cover most players. However, we do apologise if this is not all encompassing of the potential Div 1 playing squad.

BANTER, ANTICS, STITCH-UPS


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