VOLUME 36, 7 JULY 2016
Greetings fellow Blackmen and Blackwomen,
A somewhat disappointing result last week with only 3 out of 8 playing teams to record wins. Match of the round goes to the B@stards who had the honour of playing the main event at Bob Neil #1 and ensured that the Tarnished Spooners would not take out 3 victories on such hallowed turf. This was the biggest B@stards crowd in living memory which eventually petered out by half-time when people started to realise that the A Grade match had finished long ago – but the B@stards are nothing if not arrogant so they hammed it up for the adoring fans in the first half and then dropped off when they realised the crowd had disappeared. Seriously, they did not score a single goal in the second half. Knowing that the game was in the bag and with nobody left to impress, the B@stards decided to have a bit of a kick and a catch, infuriating the inferior spooners. Jeeves the Butler was impressive up forward after doubling up for the Chards – I haven't seen hips that wide move that fast since the terrible reign of Goalbatch in the late 00's.
Around the grounds, the Showgirls, the Budgie Smugglers and the C-Men all lost to the Tarnished Spooners and to make matters even worse, the Scum went on to win by 79 points – bad Scum! Terrible Scum! That is literally the opposite of what you are meant to do! You're meant to lose by a lot to make all the other losers feel grateful that they are not Scum! Serious questions need to be asked about Bunny Warren's coaching credentials as they go from strength to strength each round.
As for the matches this week, the B@stards/Scum fixture reads like an episode of Game of Thrones – two severely depleted forces head north of the Wall Grand Junction Road in freezing conditions to band together and fight for good against a savage and unintelligible army of the (brain)dead at Tee Hee Gully. The Tee Hees go into these matches with a significant lead on the underpowered Uni teams but miracles can happen – Boz is away for 2 weeks so that's surely a good sign. The Showgirls, Budgie Smugglers and Chardonnays play a triple header out at Henley whilst the C-Men and the Video Show host Central Disunited on the main oval. In the women's leagues, the Office Raiders have a well-deserved bye after their win against Angle Fail last week and the Rising Stars take centre stage on Bob Neil #2 this week against North Pines for a Win (ladies please remember your mouth guards for this one).
Now that we have dealt with the serious stuff it's time to talk about what really matters – the Blacks Ball. This night typifies the Adelaide University Football Club and how we play footy: cocksure, ridiculous, and loose, stained with a touch of cathartic destruction. It doesn't matter if it's in the Topham Mall carpark, the Unibar or the Dom Polski centre- there is only one guarantee when uni footballers congregate in numbers: shit is going to get real. There is no such thing as a free lunch but there is such a thing as free beer (well if you drink enough of it) and this Saturday night the AUFC gets the Havey all to itself so make sure you are there in your finest 70s attire and make sure you get involved in the debauchery. All are welcome and non-members are highly encouraged to participate in the ridiculousness and witness first-hand the unbridled pleasure of being involved in the world's greatest football club.
See youse all tomorrow night,
Go Blacks

JOB VACANCY: Marketing and Communications Coordinator

A Marketing and Communications role has become available at the AICSA due to the departure on an ex-blacker.  So would like to extend an opportunity to another blacker!
·        Marketing/Commerce degree desirable

·        Graphic Design (Indesign)

·        Social Media Guru

·        Website (HTML, WordPress)

·        Building relationships with sponsors

·        Tech Savvy

For more information, and to apply please contact communications@aicsa.com.au


Callum Rohde 
100 games

Full Name:  Callum Rohde (pronounced Roady)
Club Nickname/s:   The colossus of rohde, The man mountain
Age: Height: Weight  33, 194, 93
Guernsey Number:  6
Games Played: Goals Kicked:  100, 53
Junior Footy Club:  Eudunda Roosters
Describe yourself as a footballer (In 30 words or less):  My partner calls me Lonesome George. A slow and old tortoise.
Favorite Movie: Actor:  Fight club, Brad Pitt
Favorite Player Nickname:  Crouching tiger, hidden football ability
Favorite Band or Song:  Anything heavy or fast
Least Favorite Opposition Club:  Tea Tree Gully
Football/Sporting Superstitions:  None really, don’t mind a strong coffee just before the morning games.
When you were 14, what poster did you have on the back of your bedroom door? Jennifer Love Hewitt. Hottest girl of the 90s.
Favourite AFL Club: AFL Player:  The Roos. The dish, Drew Petrie. Underrated workhorse
Of the AUFC players you have played with which Player is? (Must not answer with yourself).
Best Looking:
Coaches Pet: 
Matty Heath
BJ Meier
Dank Arkun
Cam Lane
Favorite Player Nickname:  
Best sledge you’ve Given or received: Nice kick dickhead! Always makes me laugh.
Favorite Player at the Club & Why: Two pigs Hambour. Always hits you with a drop punt at lower grades training.
Ask yourself a question and answer it: Can I think of something funny or witty to write here? No

Robert ‘Boz’ Maloney
550 Division 1  Team Manager Games

 What can I say about Boz? He’s the Eddie McGuire of the AUFC, been here it seems like forever and involved in everything.The Collingwood fan is often followed by controversy, something the Collingwood President can also relate to.

What is undisputed though has been the time Boz has put into the A grade teams over the years. All that time & effort culminates into a remarkable achievement of 550 Division 1 games (+ a few Div 2) as A grade team manager
As team manager he’s been the coaches best friend over the years often going well beyond the Team Manager role and providing all the A grade coach might need + more than a few optional extras.

Boz will knock up this remarkable effort this weekend against Henley Sharks then jump on a plane  over to the States for a tour of Harvard & a well-earned break.
This will provide us for a taste of “life after Boz” as we battle through a couple of games without the Jolly old fella.

Among the thoughts keeping the committee awake at night will be how we will hold back the inevitable carpark tsunami or random’s sitting in the roped off seats in the stand?
Full Name:  Robert (Bob) Maloney
Club Nickname/s:   Boz
Age: Height: Weight  -
Games Team Managed:  Will manage 550 Blacks’ A Grade games on Saturday v. Henley at Henley
Junior Footy Club:  St. Peters, Payneham & Norwood YCW F.C. (now Fitzroy F.C.)& also Payneham F.C.     No. 18
Describe yourself as a footballer (In 30 words or less):  -
Favourite Movie: Actor:  
Least Favourite Opposition Club:  Most opposition clubs.
Favourite AFL Club: AFL Player:  Collingwood
Of the AUFC players you have played with which Player is? (Must not answer with yourself). No Comment.
     Best Looking:  
     Coaches Pet:    
Favourite Blacks Memory:
(Game, HYB, Blacks Ball, SuperSunday or Footy Trip)
1986, 1996, 1999 A Grade Premierships.
Favourite Player Nickname: -
Best sledge you’ve Given or received: Too many to remember.
Favourite Player at the Club & Why: Too many to pick one.
But they must put the Team and the Club first and themselves last.
Favourite Blacks Song: -
Ask yourself a question and answer it: Why do you keep doing the Manager’s job?-
Because the players and the coach have asked me to continue.

Upcoming Milestones
Adam Cappur-Smith 98
Elliot Hewish 98
Nicholas Katsaros 97
Callum Rohde 97
Robert Malinauskas 95
Thomas Austin 94

Match Report of the week


'Sorry mate, got an exam'
'Sorry mate, my fingers still not quite right'
'Sorry mate, I've got an Underwater Basket Weaving conference this weekend'

The deadly 'Uni exam/holiday period' that every footy coach loathes sprung it's ugly head up last weekend for the dregs of the AUFC. Oddly enough, the B@stards were particularly decimated, although it had nothing to do with the fact that it had been raining all week, and we were playing a team who beat us up by 14 goals in round 2.

Making matters worse their coach fled the country mid-week, leaving an untried Colin Girth at the helm of a ship destined for despair. A frantic series of phone calls on Friday night ensured Colin had just enough players to take on the Tarnished Spooners the following day.

The doomed B@stards arrived at Bob Neil #1, some of them cramping after doubling up in the Chards that morning. While the day seemed a foregone conclusion, the most embarrassing aspect was that the B's and A's were merely a curtain raiser for what destined to be a bloodbath . The Powers that Be will be unlikely to make such a grave fixturing error in the future.

The B@stards trudged into the rooms just as the B grade press conference was finishing up and autographs were being signed- making for a very crowded space. From there, an extraordinary turn of events occurred....

CCTV shows just 18 Bastards entering into the rooms around 2.15 pm. 30 minutes later 25 B@stards emerged (some already covered in mud, weird) and proceded to absolutely pants one of the form sides of the competition.

Division C3 pundits were initially baffled at the result, but a clear factor had changed since round 2. From a 78 point loss to a brilliant 22 point win, the only obvious difference was the coaching staff. Like every Polish person working in Britain, Holsty is now out of a job.

Scores: AUFC: 7.12 . 54
Spooners: 4.8 . 32

Best Players: Alex Bate, Alex Buckby, ****** ******, ***** ******, ****** *****Paddy Lawson.
Goal Kickers: ***** ***** 2, **** ****** 2 Mugford, Bate, Hesketh 1

Brenton Eckert, aka 'Nose' plaque unveiling at Bob Neil #1 aka beautiful Adelaide Uni oval. Great day for a great man. A big thank you to Terry Hutton at SignClass for his assistance with the plaque. Vale #27

Blacks Ball Ticket SALE

CLICK HERE to buy your ticket before the price goes up on the door!


*Blacks ball tickets will have a staggered pricing structure this year, with ticket prices increasing as we get closer to the event, make sure you purchase your tickets early to avoid paying more than necessary!




Div 1 (Black Jack & the Showgirls) 7.9.51 defeated by Tarnished Spooners 16.17.113
Goal Kickers: D. Bateman, A. Alesci, N. Langridge, N. Cottrell, J. Schulz, L. Roach, S. Sharley
Best Players: J. Schulz, J. Grieger, B. Simpson, A. Alesci, N. Cottrell, L. Roach 
Div 1R (Super Gav and the Budgie Smugglers) 6.6.42 defeated by Tarnished Spooners 13.9.87
Goal Kickers: M. Leslie 2, H. Crouch 2, E. Moore, S. Penniment
Best Players: J. Keynes, S. Penniment, H. Biggs, M. Slade, B. Sanders, T. Maughan
Div 7 (Sexy Pimp and his C-Men) 8.9.57 defeated by Tarnished Spooners 11.9.75
Goal Kickers: D. Davis 3, T. Milton 2, J. Barr, T. Nihill, B. Robinson
Best Players: D. Davis, F. Slape, J. Barr, T. Muecke, D. McIntosh, D. Smith
Div 7R (Robert Reid and the Brady Bunch) 9.12.66 defeated by Tarnished Spooners 11.9.75
Goal Kickers: T. Bowles 4, C. McMichael 4, D. Mates
Best Players: C. Ramsey, T. Bowles, D. Conier, M. Veprek, D. Mates, C. McMichael

Div C1 (The Chardonnay Socialists) DNP
Div C3 (The B@stards) 7.12.54 defeated Tarnished Spooners 4.8.32
Goal Kickers: A. Butler 2, M. Parker 2, H. Mugford, A. Bate, A. Hesketh
Best Players: A. Buckby, A. Bate, M. Parker, H. Collett, P. Lawson-Statham, H. Crouch
Div C5 (The Scum) 16.13.109 defeated Tarnished Spooners 4.6.30
Goal Kickers: P. Malinauskas 7, J. Richards 4, D. Weekley, J. Watson, A. Howard, S. Ciccarello, T. Russell
Best Players: S. Musolino, R. Malinauskas, P. Malinauskas, D. Weekley, A. Beneke, J. Watson


Div 1 (The Postie and Her Dead Letter Office Raiders) 6.4.40 defeated Angle Fail 2.7.19
Goal Kickers: S. Richardson 2, K. Harvey, J. Power, S. Ford, N. Burns
Best Players: N. Burns, S. Watherston, T. Lee, R. Wallace, M. Galic, J. Edwards
Div 2 (Hollywood and His Rising Stars) 3.3.21 defeated by Mount Lofty 4.5.29
Goal Kickers: H. Beale 2, J. Caulfield
Best Players: E. O''Dea, J. Keipert, N. Collie, H. Beale, K. Clayton, E. Tromans


Saturday 2nd July

Black Jack & the Showgirls (Div 1) v Henley @ Henley Memorial Oval 2.15pm

Super Gav and the Budgie Smugglers (Div 1R) v Henley @ Henley Memorial Oval 12.15pm

Sexy Pimp and the C-Men (Div 7) v Central Disunited @ Bob Neil #1 2.15pm

The Kenny Everett Video Show (Div 7R) v Central Disunited @ Bob Neil #1 12.15pm

The Chardonnay Socialists (C1) v Henley @ Henley Memorial Oval 10.15am

The B*stards (C3) v Tee Hee Gully @ The Comedy Colosseum (Pertaringa Oval) 2.15pm
The Scum (C5) v Tee Hee Gully @ The Comedy Colosseum (Pertaringa Oval) 12.15pm
The Postie and Her Dead Letter Office Raiders (Open Women’s Div 1) BYE
Hollywood and His Rising Stars (Open Women’s Div 2) v North Pines for a Win @ Bob Neil #2 (Park 10) 1.30pm


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2016 A/B Grade Guernsey Numbers

The A and B grade playing list (with Guernsey Numbers) is available here for those who have requested player numbers when attending games. There are a number of players moving in and out of these teams but we have done our best to cover most players. However, we do apologise if this is not all encompassing of the potential Div 1 playing squad.


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