The Blacks had one win from six games against the tarnished spooners last weekend, but I'd much rather lose to spooners than be one - and the very worst case scenario would be being a spooner and losing, which happened to Corey Bernardi on the weekend courtesy of a Peter Malinauskas MLC lesson in political football. The B@stards game against PAOC was aptly described by their captain:
"There's a shitty saying you’ll find written in old, peeling paint across many suburban footy club change rooms. It reads; ‘Prior Preparation Prevents Poor Performance’. What it fails to mention is that no amount of Prior Preparation Prevents PAC Plugga Plucking 14 Pucking goals"
Whilst Plugga wasn't seen in the A and B grade games, our teams had similar luck, and showed some good signs yet couldn't get over the line against what was a polished PAC posse.
To celebrate the few wins and drown the sorrows of too many losses, the masses headed to the Havelock for 'Super Bowlies' where first year players were treated to the glory that is the melodic harmonies of 'Action Man' and the 'Euphajism' in the one sitting.
But enough about the past, and onward to tonight, where the A and B grade sides will take on Henley on Drugs at Bob Neil #1. The Long room will be open and Red Tins flowing with the AFL playing in the background where it belongs while the mighty blacks are playing. Get down to the ground and support the World's Greatest Football Club, there's one thing for sure - the games will be more exciting than any Port Adelaide match this season.
Snippets of Grey
A little shorter for the Greys this week, primarily because lunch took longer than expected and we've got to get to start drinking red cans at Bob Neil # 1 soon. Get there with bells on tonight, will be a cracker against Henley on Drugs and I'm pleased to report that Jeremy "7 goals v the Blacks" Johncock is safely ensconced in the Barossa League, which gives us half a chance.
For those of you who missed the email earlier this week, the LONG LUNCH is confirmed for Friday the 13th of May. In the first 24 hours over 50 RSVPs and payments were received so get in quick or you will (or at least possibly) miss out. Email Bridgy firstname.lastname@example.org to reserve your spot or follow the payment instructions on the form here.
Last week I included the round 1 match report from 1986, which unfortunately got cut a little short, so this week especially for the A Broads View offspring at the club you can see Round 2 below, or as always on www.footyalmanac.com.au.
Best Players: Huston, Bland, Ewers, Schulz, Eckert, Proudman
Missing this week was Cory ‘Brick Outhouse’ Williams, whose hand was broken last week by that wastrel Dadds, a piece of action that I may have missed whilst I was helping myself to another pitcher from the President’s Wolf Blass 1982 Black Label supply at PAC. Missing also was Sandy Hancock, who had nothing more to prove after last week’s haul and went rock-climbing instead. How very University.
Uni was host to one of those pesky semi-pro suburban clubs, with thugs like ex-Rooster Tony Roach, Mark Simpson, Jamie Mason and Nigel Beneke doing more sniping than the French foreign legion. Speaking of which, the Blacks had a few boom recruits of their own – David ‘NASA/Rocket/Problem’ Huston, an ex-student of Griff’s at Marryatville High and 1985 Pfitzner Medalist Steve Bland from the now defunct Adelaide College provided uncharacteristic Uni resistance to the McInnes Ave mob.
Gawd help the Blacks in thirty years time if the likes of that Broadview quartet ever procreate.
The influx of clean living types from Adelaide College such as Paul Whaley, Andrew Antonello, Trevor Hall and especially Steven Moy lifted the Blacks’ fitness standards immensely. Which was just as well, as the bookish Uni types such Andrew ‘Animal Boy’ Ewers and Mick ‘One More Year’ Kenny were still stuck on the table of contents of Griff’s Winning Edge manifesto, having barely understood previous coach Mike ‘Weathers’ Weatherald’s ‘kick to the leg’ game plan.
This superior physical condition saw the Blacks outlast (and outdial) their suburban rivals, to have them sitting at two wins from two outings.
Worth noting that Bob ‘Boz’ Maloney, in his managerial debut, failed miserably, leaving behind his team sheet carbon paper supply, but bringing along Anchor raspberry flavoured cordial rather than the preferred Bickford’s Lemon Barley. Craig ‘Sarge’ Schulz was more excitable and Ian Miller-Smith even less interpretable at the final siren as a result. Brenton ‘Nose’ Eckert treated Boz with the appropriate level of deference.
Dates for the Diary
Now just a couple of key reminders for your diary again:
Friday the 13th of May – LONG LUNCH at the Boat Club. Saturday 28th of May – 1996 A grade premiership reunion Saturday 4th of June - Ladies Day
I’ll leave you with this stat on how our A grade has gone in history in years ending with a 6:
1946 – 2nd
1956 – 2nd
1966 – 2nd
1976 – 2nd
1986 – 1st
1996 – 1st
2006 – 2nd
2016 - ….
Anyway, no pressure Showgirls but don’t stuff this up by missing the GF. We’ve got plenty of Maths nerds at the club who get twitchy when their sequences get out of whack.
Match Report of the week
Scum play Political Football
Games between PAC and the Scum are always entertaining, previous years have seen; controversial after siren denied goals, last quarter Howie semi-final heroics and the infamous naming of the four Holland brothers plus Duncan Kellaway with predicable results.
Despite this history the build up to this game seemed to have more than the usual spice. PAC started the drama by naming federal senator and provocateur Cory Bernadi, the scum responded by naming state minister the Hon Peter Malinauskas, PAC upped the ante by naming Bernardi’s two sons to which the Scum countered by naming Mally’s younger brother Rob (see image) and announcing it was birthday. Bunny drove home the moral advantage by naming Tom Bernard a much less selfish Bernardi (minus the ‘I’).
With all this drama both sides just wanted to get on the field and they didn’t have to wait long with a crisp 10am start. What followed was a fantastic advertisement for lower grade footy with PAC leading at all the changes only to see the Scum’s true believers storm over the top of them in the last quarter and run out winners 19 point winners. The game could best be summed up as a clash of ideologies, pitting old flat world conservatism versus Pete Mally’s ‘new deal’ all loosely held together by the stewardship of Rulebook’s non-partisan adjudication and Bunny Warren’s Fremantle Docker liken re-inventive game plan. If you want to know more click here
Scum 11.9 75 PAC 8.8 56 Goal kickers: Pete TFP Mally 1, T Baker 1, Peter Lycra Pedlar 2, Jimmy Richards 2 and the Home wrecker a lazy 5 Better players included: Jimmy Richards, Big Al’s Grandson, The Homemaker, Whytey, Sam Lawry Lawrence but the best man on the ground was the small Italian dictator Muso.
Fraser Thomson - Quote Rocky Austin: "he has the hairiest shoulders and back I've ever seen"
Cameron 'Paddles' Gregg aka Sid from Toy Story
Beneke and Priddis very similar looks - very different football abilities.
2016 Key Dates
April 16 – First Hold Your Bowlies, Super Bowlies May 13 - Long Lunch May 21 – Super Bowlies upstairs at the Havelock May 28 - 1996 Premiership Reunion June 4 – Ladies Day at Uni Oval July 2 – Blacks Ball July 30– Clubs night at the Havelock August 28 – Super Sunday at the Havelock October 7 – Annual Dinner
D1 (Black Jack and the Showgirls)11.10-76 defeated by PAOC 15.13-103 Goal Kickers: S. Sharley 3, B. Simpson 2, W. Paynter 2, M. Newcombe 2, J. Schultz, E. Dadds Best Players: S. Paynter, W. Paynter, N. Cottrell, T. Walker, J. Noonan, J. Grieger
D1R (Super Gav and the Budgie Smugglers) 5.6-36 defeated by PAOC 11.6-72 Goal Kickers: E. Hewish, J. Mader, M. Jamieson, A. Offe, J. Stewart Best Players: H. Biggs, A. Offe, J. Dearing, J. Johnston, J. Stewart, M. Slade
Div 7 (Sexy Pimp and his C-Men) 6.8-44 defeated by PAOC 10.11-71 Goal Kickers: J. Fitzgerald 2, D. Polkinghorne, J. Cmrlec, S. Elmasri, A. Ireland Best Players: S. Hutton, J. Cmrlec, J. McGowan, T. Milton, D. Trezise, D. Polkinghorne
Div 7R (Robert Reid and The Brady Bunch) 7.7-49 defeated by PAOC 7.10-52 Goal Kickers: R. Laidlaw 4, T. Nguyen, N. Dragas, S. Shadiac Best Players: T. Bowles, R. Laidlaw, J. Campbell, D. Mates, L. Wallis, D. Conier
Div C1 (The Chardonnay Socialists) 11.8-74 defeated PHOS Camden 9.6-60 Goal Kickers: B. Meier 4, B. Cox 2, S. Harris 2, M. Reid, Z. Hambour, C. Lane Best Players: C. Schiller, M. Lebbon, B. Hiscock, W. King, B. Meier, B. Cox
Div C3 (The B@stards) 5.9-39 defeated by PAOC 18.8-116 Goal Kickers: J. Daw 2, J. Rischbieth, A. Howes, F. Marshall Best Players: A. Buckby, J. Cameron, F. Marshall, T. Bell, T. Chalk, E. Verco
Div C5 (The Scum) 11.9-75 defeated PAOC 8.8-56 Goal Kickers: A. Howard 5, P. Pedler 2, J. Richards 2, T. Baker, P. Malinauskas Best Players: S. Musolino, S. Lawrence, H. Whyte, A. Howard, T. Bernard, J. Richards
Open Women’s Div 1 (The Postie and Her Dead Letter Office Raiders)
Open Women’s Div 2 (Hollywood and His Rising Stars) 19.12-126 defeated North Pines 3.0-18
Goal Kickers: Lee 7,Mills 3, Porter 3
Best Players: Sheridan, Anthony, Mills, Keipert, O'Dea, Lee
Friday 22nd April
Black Jack & the Showgirls (Div 1) v Henley - Bob Neil #1 @ &:50pm
Super Gav and the Budgie Smugglers (Div 1R) v Henley - Bob Neil #1 @ 5:45pm
Saturday 23rd April
Sexy Pimp and the C-Men (Div 7) v Central United - Mofflin Reserve @ 2:15pm
Robert Reid and the Brady Bunch (Div 7R) v Central United - Mofflin Reserve @ 12:15pm
The Chardonnay Socialists (C1) v Henley - Bob Neil # 1 @ 1:15pm
The B*stards (C3) v Tea Tree Gully - Bob Neil # 2 @ 2:15pm
The Scum (C5) v Tea Tree Gully - Bob Neil # 2 @ 12:15am
Sunday, 24th April
Div 1: The Postie and Her Dead Letter Office Raiders V Giggle Farm (Ingle Farm) 2.30pm at Bob Neil #1
Div 2: Hollywood and His Rising Stars V Barker-Who’s??? (Mount Barker) 12.30pm at Bob Neil #1
Player Sponsors Wanted
It's that time of year again and a few kids are till in search of a player sponsor.
If you can help out and keep an A/B grader clothed for his matches and insured if he gets injured, please contact 'the Evolution' Will Evans at email@example.com
The A and B grade playing list (with Guernsey Numbers) is available here for those who have requested player numbers when attending games. There are a number of players moving in and out of these teams but we have done our best to cover most players. However, we do apologise if this is not all encompassing of the potential Div 1 playing squad.