“Do you ever have the compulsion to make a big pile of your old self, burn it all down, and start over?”

That’s what my friend asked. (Because her emails are deep like that.)

My answer is “uhhhh yes!”

I feel the call to “burn, burn, burn it all!” at least once a year. Often more.

The urge to strip certain obligations from my life. The urge to stop showing up in certain ways, to stop offering certain services, stop working on projects that feel luke warm. 

The undeniable need to stop trying so hard where the "trying" doesn't matter. To stop caring so much about things that don't spark joy for me. To be done agreeing to certain behaviors. 

When the urge to burn and rebuild comes I honor it. 

Not always instantly, not always gracefully. Sometimes the urge to burn can be sharp and painful. Other times its slow and informative.

It feels the best when there’s a period of contemplation before the big blaze — sweeping the debris into a pile, staring at it, considering it, poking at it, asking myself repeatedly, “What’s it going to feel like once I burn this mother down?”

Then the answer arrives — “so incredibly good” — and I toss the match. There’s a blaze of light. It's done. And then… darkness.

Ahhh…quiet, velvety, contemplative, darkness. Where the ghost of the fire writhes and Potential drops it’s anchor.

I’ve never regretted these beautiful, cleansing bonfires. Not even once.

The burn is necessary and natural—it’s evolutional. 

Several forest species such as select conifers NEED fire to survive. They grow so big and tall that their seedlings eventually fall on the shady forest floor, a plan too dark and cool to grow. In the wake of natural or controlled forest fires, their seedlings flourish in the carbon-rich soil left by the burn of the former forest…radical regeneration. 

Your life, work, and art can evolve through several incarnations and evolutions, too.

Yes, it can be frightening to change. Yes, your income might take a temporary hit. Yes, your neighbors, parents, blog readers, clients, or customers might peek through the fence and wonder what the hell is going on and who on earth you are becoming. Yes, all of that.

But it will almost undoubtedly be worth it. And secretly, privately, quietly… you know it.

What needs to burn? What can you bathe in darkness, ignite, or reimagine?

Nobody can toss the match for you.

But when it’s time, then it’s time.

Here are some things I made you for letting it burn, letting the darkness be, and getting ready for regeneration:

- An anthem for remembering, moving, growing, burning, flowing.

- Songs for dancing in the dark playlist - The Revivalists, Nightmares On Wax, The Avener, The xx, Kygo, Glass Animals, Chet Faker, Gramatik, Alina Baraz, The Black Keys, Parra for Cuva, Dennis Lloyd

- Good Questions (to answer by candlelight) for seasonal review, for time, energy + clarity, or for deep dark truth.

- Body of Light — if you need to remember what you’re made of. 

- How to practice radical, rebellious, resilience-rich gratitude

-The Making It So Circle quarterly review party is happening this month — virtual bonfire anyone?! Click here to join us

Thank you for reading. Please give yourself a big hug for me. 


Ps. A Cozy Ambiance’s Youtube playlist—screen savors that transport you to warm and wonderful worlds. 

Pps. What's one thing you’ve created, completed, or appreciated in your life lately? Do you have a gratitude harvest for our upcoming Gratitude Collective newsletter? I'd love to hear. Click here or *reply* to this email. I read (and reply) to every single email that comes in. Thank you.

Copyright © 2021 Kenzie Snyderman, All rights reserved.

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