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Our bodies aren't up for comment.
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"Is she or isn't she?"..."Why did she?"..."Why won't she?". The past few weeks have sparked surprise, created commentary, and revealed a disappointing (yet, unsurprising) fact...we still feel entitled to comment on women's bodies.
By age 14, most women have gotten unsolicited comments about their bodies—a trend they can expect to continue into adulthood. "People have been commenting on my body for as long as I can remember," one reader told Refinery29. "It's sad, but it's like the weather — sometimes people just don't know what else to talk about."
There are a lot of levels between weather and weight gain, though.......a lot.
Whether it's a "compliment" on your weight loss, speculation about your pregnancy, or a tip to drop the baby weight, comments about our bodies can feel intrusive. Despite the fact that no one likes them, there's a reason they keep coming.
We teach women to not only prize their bodies as their most valuable asset, but to also mold their bodies for the benefit of others. Limiting the unwelcomed comments means challenging these beliefs at their core.
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Why "Social Fitness" makes us happier
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Who's your go-to for encouragement, advice, or a much-needed laugh? Believe it or not, we need each other, and our loved ones can greatly impact our happiness. Our jobs, achievements, and health routines play a minimal role, at best.
According to an 85-year Harvard study, positive relationships keep us happier, healthier, and help us to live longer. A meaningful conversation that makes us feel understood could be the key to a good night's sleep. As with anything, positive relationships take work and consistent evaluation. These seven keystones of support can help you take stock of where you stand.
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MICHIGAN STATE: As America comes to grips with yet another tragedy, history's starting to repeat itself. One young woman endured both the Sandy Hook and the Michigan State shootings—only 10 years apart.
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MAYOR OF PHILLY: The City of Sisterly Love, indeed. With 4 women in the running, Philadelphia could elect its first female mayor this year. “Not only are we better qualified than most of the men," one candidate said, "but [our] perspective is hugely important.” Straight to the point.
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EQUALITY DRIVE: Almost 400 women leaders from 15 African countries launched an equality drive earlier this week. Their goal is to advance progress, tackle pressing concerns, and find sustainable solutions to issues affecting women and girls in South Sudan and across Africa
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UNDERWEAR: If bra shopping puts a dent in your wallet, you're not imagining it. Thanks to tariff rates, the U.S. government says women's underwear should cost more than men's. That "6-month bra update" rule is definitely looking questionable...
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BOOKS: We're honoring Black History Month again with the biographies of 3 incredible black women. Also, it was definitely hard to pick just 3. Check out this longer list for more.
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Just as I Am. Trailblazing and legendary actress, Cicely Tyson—at 95—takes us on the beautiful, inspiring journey of her life. The recipient of an honorary Oscar and the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the iconic actress transparently unveils her experiences as a Black woman in America. In Ms.Tyson's own words, “Just as I Am is my truth. It is me, plain and unvarnished, with the glitter and garland set aside."
Ida B. the Queen. Read the incredible story of Ida B. Wells, as written by her great-grandaughter, Michelle Duster. A journalist, educator, pioneer, and cofounder of the NAACP, Ida B. Wells brought light to the horrors of lynching in America and became a pioneer for the ages. This book is a beautiful celebration of both her life and the Black experience.
Unbound. Tarana Burke, activist and founder of the MeToo movement, didn't always have the courage to say "me too". This is the story of her inner strength and perseverance, all in pursuit of bringing healing to her community and the world around her. In sharing her path toward healing and saying "me too," Tarana helps us in more ways than one.
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Tangible Ways to Practice Self-Love.
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This time of year can get interesting. Valentine's Day just passed, our New Year's resolutions aren't as shiny, and our calendars are starting to fill up again. Not to mention, we want more "Self-Love", but we don't always know where to start. Check out some practical self-love tips below.
- Make a "what's working for me" list. If you held that pilates move for 3 seconds longer today, write that down. We focus so much on what isn't working, that we forget to appreciate what is. Seeing it all on paper fuels the positivity we need.
- Do something you're good at. Everyday doesn't have to be spent on an "opportunity" area. Doing something you're good at—no matter how simple—will boost your self-esteem and your mood!
- Create a self-love ritual. Polish your toes at 6 pm every Wednesday, turn your phone off while you meditate, or go on your Saturday morning walk. Whatever your ritual, stick to it, and set aside intentional time for yourself.
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Dasanj Aberdeen: When you can't pick just "one thing"...
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Dasanj Aberdeen
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Dasanj Aberdeen is a transformational leader, product management consultant, creator, mentor and champion of interdisciplinary education and pursuits. She works at a global professional services firm, where she helps clients shape the future of their business with new products, services and business models that accelerate digital transformation, improve customer experience, and create value. She also mentors, coaches and uses technology to democratize knowledge and promote inclusion, motivated by the belief we can improve the human experience and make the world more equitable through technology.
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What interests and topics are you most passionate about? How did you overcome pressure to focus on just "one thing"?
I have so many! My first two were art and business, and I knew I didn't want to give up one for the other. How I integrated both in my life transformed over the years. I concentrated on business in college, but studied art also. Then, my creativity expanded to include photography and writing. Within business, I started with Accounting and developed a love for strategy, management and innovation. Technology helped me string my different interests together and led me to product management. In addition to these, I enjoy travel, reading, French, running and prioritizing health and wellness.
In business and in life, why is an interdisciplinary approach so important?
An interdisciplinary approach is important because everything is connected, even when they appear to be disparate. I appreciate this more and more as our world experiences rapidly change. Many of the challenges today require different disciplines and cross-functional teams coming together to problem solve. When we bridge conversations, see different perspectives, and learn from other disciplines, we collaborate and arrive at solutions more effectively. Interdisciplinarity leads to a more holistic approach to business and a more fulfilling and well-rounded life.
What roles do self-awareness and self-advocacy play in designing the life that you want?
Self-awareness is critical because what works for others may not work for you. Success is personal so we all need to do the work to fully understand ourselves, define our value system, understand what problems we want to solve, and build our life around that. Sometimes this means saying "no" to have the capacity to take on opportunities that align with your goals. This is where self-advocacy comes in. It's important to communicate your goals to others as you align your knowledge, experience, talents, skills, and interests to opportunities.
What's your best advice for someone deciding between multiple career interests?
First, take action and try different things. To have the best information to make that decision, it helps to have practical experience that provides lessons and allows you to assess the fit. Going back to an interdisciplinary approach, see if there's a creative way to combine elements of the different career interests also.
Where can we follow along in your journey and read more of your work?
You can find me on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/dasanjaberdeen/). Follow and hit the bell on my profile to be notified about my product management and career content and events. You can also find me on Twitter (https://twitter.com/dasanjaberdeen) and at www.dasanjaberdeen.com
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Friends do Gem Class together.
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