warikoo Wanderings
Welcome to another edition of warikoo Wanderings.
In this edition, I urge you not to think that everyone wants the same things in life, share the book I am reading this week about a monk, share quotes that will get you to ponder, share results from last week's polls and ask you yet another interesting question. 

Let's get started!


My email volume is growing by the week.
On an average I get ~450 emails per week, from a human (as against ICICI Bank selling me yet another home loan, because hey, monthly targets poore nahi ho rahe!)

350+ of these emails have 1 common word in them.
"I am confused"
Confused what should I study after my Class 12th?
Confused whether I should do an MBA or not?
Confused whether I should an MBA from this college or that one?
Confused about what career to chose?
Confused whether I should quit my job because I am unhappy, or still stick because its COVID times?
"I am confused"

Here is the thing about life.
Life, during our parents' time, as hard as it was, also had one important distinction from today.
Lives, during our parents' time were not so different from each other.
Everyone worked hard, everyone made some money, everyone had similar jobs and everyone was always hyper-locally connected.
Which means, we rarely got to know about what's happening beyond our immediate circle.
Even if we did, it was after a long time, more like a documentary of sorts.

Today, lives are VERY different from each other.
A doctor studies for 10 years after school and then somewhat starts their career.
A YouTuber drops out of college and starts their career at 19 itself.
An engineer works as a coder and makes a gazillion bucks.
And another engineer works in the factory and perhaps doesn't make as much.

And we are all connected.
We know what is happening in our immediate circle, and we also know what is happening 10,000 kms away from us.

And that messes with our minds.
Because growing up, we saw people more or less the same.
And so we think that everyone needs and wants the same things.
The same money, the same lifestyle, the same status, the same freedom.

What we do not realize, is that EVERYONE is playing a different game.
The top-notch lawyer needs to (most likely) dress a certain way, speak a certain way and act a certain way.
And if you begin to value all the things that this lawyer values, assuming that you want similar things, that's a mistake.
You do not want the same things.
You do not need the same things.
And that's why you should not desire the same things.

If you are a content creator, then your freedom of thought is the most important thing for you.
While if you are an accountant, your compliance is the most important thing for you.
If you are a sales person, then being aggressive and chatty might work for you.
While if you are a poet, then observing people from a distance and spending time with yourself will work for you.

We are playing a different game.
All of us. 

So when you allow someone else's life to set the expectations that you have from yours, you are going down a path which most certainly will result in a feeling of inadequacy, non-fulfillment and disappointment. 

This one thing has helped me so much in setting the right expectations in life.
I am still confused about a lot of things.
And I know I will be.
But the difference is - this confusion is no longer stemming from a desire to play someone else's game, no longer a result of how I want the world to see me and no longer because I am comparing myself to others.
This confusion is now more basic.
It revolves around what I want to do and if I know what my game is.

And I would wish all of you, this kind of confusion.

Heard of Jay Shetty?
If you have, you would know that he has just launched his first book - Think like a monk.
If you haven't, Jay is a motivational speaker and life coach. Famous for the fact that he runs the world's largest Facebook page for an individual.

I truly like him, for he has had a fascinating journey. He actually became a monk, came to India (he was raised in the UK) and then once back started his journey to share wisdom. First through the Huffington Post and then finally on Facebook, where he struck big. 

I have always been fascinated by monks and how they look at the world. Jay has the unique perspective of having been one and now living the life of a normal human. 
The book is super useful. Already a bestseller on Amazon.

Another such person (monk + normal human now) that I adore is Andy, the cofounder of Headspace (the meditation app). Andy was the reason I started meditating and he continues to be the ambassador of mindfulness for me. 
If you haven't yet started meditating, I am convinced that Headspace is a great start for you. 

All the books that I am reading or have recommended, are available here for purchase through Amazon.


The worst way to respond to people who hate you, is to respond.
(Share this on Twitter)

People get most upset when you tell them true things that they wish were false.
(Share this on Twitter)

Don't lose yourself because you found somebody.
I am not talking about relationships.
I am talking about everything!
(Share this on Twitter)

We always have time to correct the mistake after we’ve made it.
Trying to correct it immediately is another mistake.
(Share this on Twitter)

Resist the obvious!
(Share this on Twitter)


So a lot of people asked me for the results of the polls I ask (I can almost visualize them angry at me - pooch to liya, jawaab share bhi nahi karaa!)

The reason I conduct these polls is because they tell me about how people think as a collective. And that's always so much fun to know and realize.

So 2 weeks back I had asked people, which of these superpowers you would wish to have and why?
1. Ability to read minds
2. Ability to fly
3. Ability to be invisible
4. Ability to live without food or sleep

Understandably, 65% voted for "reading minds", followed by fly, then food/sleep and surprisingly not many wanted to be invisible (only around 5%).

What is tragic though (and I use the word carefully) is that so many people want to read minds.
Do you know what you are getting into?
I would NEVER want to read minds. 
Because humans are not sane.
We are unpredictable, emotional, biased and full of contradictions.
And if I could read their minds, it would drive me mad.

Personally, I would love to fly.
I live on the 13th floor (don't panic - those who think it's a bad omen. I don't care about it!) and it will be awesome to say, "Main bread lene jaa raha hoon" and go to the balcony, instead of the door. Fly to GS Mart, land in front of it, pick up the bread and then fly back.

And then go, "Oho. Cheese laana bhool gaya."
"Main Switzerland se hoke aata hoon."
Balcony again!

<dream ends>

Last week, I asked what would you choose
1. Sure shot Rs. 500
2. Spin the wheel and get Rs. 1,000 50% of the time and get nothing 50% of the time

70%+ chose option 1.
That is how humans behave.
When it comes to gains and losses, we want to make predictable gains. And not risk losing. 

Of those who chose option 2, I asked several of them back
How would your response change if the amounts were 5 lakhs sure shot and 10 lakhs spin the wheel.
Most of them then changed to option 1.

This is a very important thing to know about us.
The agony of pain is far far greater for us than the joy of gain.

To explain further, here is my poll question for this week.


Which of these 2 options would you choose?
Option 1: Sure shot loss of Rs. 500
Option 2: Spin the wheel. 50% of the times you will lose nothing and 50% of the time you will lose Rs. 1,000

Let me know :)
PS: I read all my emails. May not reply to all of them, but I read all of them. 

Until next Friday, 
stay awesome
stay focused

- warikoo

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