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hello pals, welcome to email. i've responded to most of your inquiries and would like to say thank you so much for your kindness and caring. whomever signed me up for the applebee's mailing list, jokes on you i was already on it with a different address.

anyway, lately i've been thinking a lot.

twi*ter fuck*ng s*x lol


you spend 10+ years building a following and a network, expecting that the platform will have your back when you're doxxed and harassed for making fun of stupid shit like elon musk (the most boring man alive) and negative numbers in haskell ranges. you watch people you admire being chased off the platform at the same time the same site is making it easy af (as fuck) for you to make a connection with an industry peer which ultimately leads to Game Changing Paradigm Shifts in the Workplace for you to Touch Base and Circle Back on. literally no one is winning. it's all a trap.

until twitter gets its act together and starts paying me for my engagement, i'm using my account for work stuff only. i'm saving my train of thought for electronic mail. last week i created a personal slack channel and posted there instead. my apologies to 4-time grammy nominated artist jewel and anyone who is a fan of birds.

 

#not-twitter

Thursday, August 9th
jenn [7:48 PM] joined #not-twitter.
jenn [7:48 PM] my cat ruined my pedicure
jenn [7:50 PM] i was never young
jenn [7:50 PM] my parents are virgins
jenn [8:16 PM] carding me is ageist

Friday, August 10th
jenn [9:44 AM] my favorite fashion is “men of the financial district trying to dress casual on friday”
jenn [3:30 PM] these tweets are small i know but they’re not my employer’s, they are my own
jenn [3:30 PM] where's jewel
jenn [4:23 PM] you’re not going to get a good set of responses to a hacker news thread asking “what is the most unethical thing you’ve done as a programmer” because those people have no ethics lmao
jenn [4:25 PM] defense devs (none of whom would show up in such a thread roflmao) for example have vocabulary for deflecting on ethics — like considering the killing of civilians to just be “collateral damage” not “basically murder”
jenn [6:09 PM] vape matthews band
jenn [6:21 PM] have birds tried shutting “the fuck” up

Sunday, August 12th
jenn [6:18 PM] i need to talk to somebody about my hypotension and also hot dogs as a recipe ingredient
jenn [6:31 PM] i *know* my cat knows what “off the table” means
jenn [7:29 PM] my gym started playing linkin park as soon as i arrived, membership renewed
jenn [8:32 PM] just bought a new fanny pack on the World Wide Web
jenn [10:49 PM] i love that i can buy a book on the World Wide Web

Yesterday
jenn [8:52 PM] who made dogs
jenn [10:31 PM] it’s 2025, everyone’s going apeshit for corn milk
jenn [10:59 PM] “alphabetical order” is such a weird concept, don’t even get me started on “numeric”

Today
jenn [9:57 AM] three things i literally NEVER want: non-original oreos, non-original pringles, Mail.app to open EVER
jenn [10:32 AM] brushed my hair today
jenn [2:10 PM] How Do I Make My Pixel Art Talk **Not** About White Supremacy
have a blessed day, xoxo jenn schiffer
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