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in the summer of 2007 (i think? time isn't real) i fell in love with a kitten named jefrey. i fell in love with his companionship instantly, so quickly that it didn’t even occur to me (or matter) the torture his dander brought upon my then-partner’s allergies–in fact, i vividly remember him saying “we may need to get rid of him” and my responding “we may need to get rid of you.” i don’t think he realized i was serious af.
after nearly 13 years, 3 apartments, 2 cities, 2 careers, and i’m not going to count the boyfriends but let’s be honest–jefrey was the one constant besides my physical self. he was the only family i had for quite some time. that’s why it hurt so much to say goodbye to him this morning, despite my preparing myself for it over the past year or so since his cancer diagnosis. it was still sudden, though, i was naive in thinking he had just eaten some trash and it got lodged somewhere, but really it was his v rude disease taking effect. it was the first time i wished he had just eaten trash.
in stark contrast to jefrey, the process was quick, quiet, and tender. my greatest fear was that the radio would start playing "drops of jupiter" or something by imagine dragons but fortunately, i witnessed his last wink and blep to the heartbreakingly beautiful “time after time.” as i held him i thought about how lucky my friends were to be able to be in his presence at parties and thanksgiving and how lucky my youngest cat pumagreg was to have him as a mentor, learning how to be a major pain in my ass at 4:55 in the morning for food despite the automatic feeder going off only 5 minutes later.
my time with jefrey was long, like his wormy body, and i can only hope it is longer with pumagreg and also all of my wonderful human companions i call my family and love. even in his absence jefrey will always remain the touchstone of all companionship for me. i already miss my v long boy v much.
Copyright © 2018 jennmoneydollars, All rights reserved.


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